[SHAMROX]

My kids' birth mom called me last night and told me that she has decided to relinquish her rights for my daughter! WHAT?? I was waiting for this, but I really though it'd be last minute, as in the few minutes before her termination trial started. Nope! She said she's been thinking about this since she was taken, and that this time around, she's thinking about her child and not herself. She made the decision herself, so that's good. She's in counseling and it does sound like it's helping. I'm happy for her and sad for her - and happy for me. You know how that goes. She knows she won't get to see Adriana for a long time, but she is confident that I want her to be a part of their lives. That sounds really weird to me, but I'm sure it will be ok. If she's really stable and in a good place, then it will be a good thing. They need her for family history and to fill in that "blank". That's where I always feel inadequate as an adoptive parent - I wasn't good enough to give birth to them and will never be able to fill in that blank...if that makes sense.
So I'm really excited, as you can tell! If they can get the bio father's rights terminated quickly then we may get to do both adoptions at once! She plans to go into the DSHS office this week to sign the open adoption agreement, and I asked her if it would be easier if I was there and she said yes. So she or the social worker will call me when they set up a time. I hope she doesn't change her mind! Say some prayers for us please!

[mrsred]

Happy Mother's Day indeed!
I am glad you are choosing to not close the lines of communication entirely, too.

[naca]

Good luck!! Try not to get tooo excited until she actually does.. Biomom to my FS has said the same thing twice -Once in Feb and then she backed out.. and again just 2wks ago- never did it again..

GOOD LUCK!

[Mommytinkerbell]

I hope she keeps her plans too. That's great!!!

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by naca

Good luck!! Try not to get tooo excited until she actually does.. Biomom to my FS has said the same thing twice -Once in Feb and then she backed out.. and again just 2wks ago- never did it again..

GOOD LUCK!

Mine, too. My fs's bio mom is torn between relinquishing and working her case plan. She goes back and forth. The first time she mentioned relinquishing so I could adopt, I was absolutely over the moon. It was horrible when I found out she wanted to work her case plan and was given another 6 months. She has been wavering since. She's been having a horrible time getting & keeping a decent job. And it's been 9 months and she still doesn't have a decent place to live. At the rate things are going, she may end up at TPR by the holidays next winter. I don't wish this on her. If she can get herself together, she deserves to have him. For her own well being and safety, I wish she'd get a decent roof over her head. She doesn't have any support from family. She has a disability which makes life even harder. I feel for her. I really do. I'm torn, too. I would love to adopt "Brandon" but I know how much his biomom loves him.

I'm just waiting it out at this point.

Congrats. Be happy-but guarded until she actually signs.

[SHAMROX]

Yes, the going back and forth, and the not knowing can really get to me. With my first fd, who I got at one day old - I wanted nothing more than to adopt her...I felt like she was mine and was meant for me. Eventually I learned to be ok with her going home and saw how much they loved her. But, now 5+ yrs later my fears are realized...her parents have broken up and there is suspected neglect and drug use. Figures! I hate to be like that, but it is so frustrating...she's in this home and yes, they love her but it doesn't mean it's safe. I am ALL for RU if the family has their stuff together, but you can't predict the future....!

[vernellinnj]

I agree that you can't predict the future..that goes for bio and adoptive families. I once heard a quote that said adoption is often a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Hmmmm

Best wishes to you - hope she keeps her plans.

P.S. I've had my FC for 2 years and mom is still working her plan. IMO, ridiculous that a young child is kept in limbo for so long.

[mama-2-3]

I really hope she follows through on her word.