[mama-2-3]

So far (knock on wood) the two girls that arrived recently have been very good. I have heard that some kids have a honeymoon phase, but I have never experienced this in the past. How long does it generally last (for those that have had kids go through a phase like this)?
I am only asking because I have heard from multiple people that these kids are a handful.
They have their moments. The 1 (almost 2) year old likes to be held a lot and the 5 year old has had to have a time-out twice, but that is pretty standard stuff.
On another note - I really don't think the 5 year old is delayed. I am sure I am not qualified to make that determination, but she helps me set the table, she understands my commands, she can almost tie her shoes, and she is doing almost everything a "normal" 5-year-old should do. Her only issue seems to be the lack of talking and when she does speak it is very hard to understand her most of the time (she is in speech along with a few other classes at the treatment center).

[mommytoEli]

i think it just depends. our daughter's first honeymoon phase was about 30 days (she was 8).......but even after she started "being herself," it was probably another 2 years before the honeymoon was officially OVER and she started being WAY herself. lol! every kid is different though.

[mama-2-3]

Scratch that -
5-year-old had a MAJOR tantrum this morning. It came out of nowhere. She was happy and smiling one minute, then when she saw her sister with the toy she apparently wanted, she immediately threw herself on the floor and began banging her head on the tile. Fearing for her safety, I carried her to her room so she could bang her head on the carpet (much softer than tile). Her screams were so loud and high pitched, I am sure the neighbors think we are insane in this house. I told her that she could come out of her room when she was done and closed the door. That seemed to work okay. It did take at least twenty minutes or so fer her to be completely calm though. YIKES! Then when we went to my son's baseball game this morning, she could see the swings across the way and wanted to go over there. I told her that when the game was over, we would all go over there and play. That did not fly with her and she laid down in the dirt to express her frustration. I did not know what to do. We were in public. I couldn't send her to her room, so I made her get in the car, I turned on the air and sat outside of the door until she was done. I missed about 1/3 of my son's game though. He was not happy about that.

[Withay]

I don't know if this will help or not, but recently I was at the grocery store when a woman with a boy about 7 got in line behind me. The boy suddenly began a tantrum and to his and the moms surprise I gave him permission to have the tantrum and told him that I sure hoped that it was going to be a good one because I hadn't seen one yet that day. The mom looked at me like I had rocks in my head, but the boy immediately stopped the tantrum and never started again.

Just a thought. You may want to try it at home first though to see if it works.

You may have to resort to leaving the public location and going home (unless that is what she wants).

I was recently at a seminar with Richard Delaney, a child psychologist. He told about a family that had a 5 year old who threw fantastic tantrums. The parents talked it over and then had a family meeting. It was decided that, no matter where they were, when this child began to throw a tantrum that they would all join him. Later that day he started to have one and they called all the kids to the kitchen where he was and they all lay down on the floor and threw a huge tantrum. Another day it happened in the aisle at the grocery store. The entire family threw themselves on the floor and started tantruming. A few minutes later they looked up and the 5 year old was at the end of the aisle staring at them. He couldn't believe his eyes. End of trantrums.

[mommytoEli]

lol...withay.....you just reminded me of a GREAT story about dd and tantrums. she was 10 or 11....home for 2 or 3 years at that point. we went to kohls and she was mad at me bc i made her hold my hand in the parking lot (she stepped out in front of an oncoming car moments before...so i was being a good mom). when we enterred into the building, i let go, and she threw herself on the ground and started yelling, "OW OW YOU ARE HURRRRRRTING ME!" i could have died! i was so embarassed...and super mad. there she was, getting back at me for making her hold my hand....in front of the whole store. without missing a beat, i scooped her up (she is a tiny girl) and picked her up like a toddler. she continued to scream. i let her tantrum for a while....while i shopped. i am sure at this point shoppers through the whole store were watching and listening. i leaned closely to dd and whispered, "you can keep tantruming like this if you want, but your friends at school.......they shop here." SILENCE. ahhhh.....peer pressure. she shut up at that point, and i finished shopping, holding my 10 or 11 year old daughter the ENTIRE time. when we got out to the car, i buckled her in even. i let her know that if she was going to behave like a toddler, i would treat her like a toddler, regardless of where we were. you know, she NEVER EVER EVER EVER tried to manipulate me LIKE THAT ever again. lol...of course she went on to try new ways...but those are stories for another day!

i also hear you about the neighbors. now 14 year old son is a really good tantrum thrower too...but only at home. i am CERTAIN the neighbors often wondered if they should dial 911. the police would have seen quite a sight when they got there though, ds, alone in his room with an open door, just screaming and thrashing about all on his own. fun times. he still does it. FOURTEEN! so you may want to get your neighbors on your side. OH, now i want to tell another story. so this one time, he was 13, he was FREAKING out tantrumming in his room....only the Lord knows why...and I was so SICK of listening to it. so....i picked him, carried him down the stairs, opened the front door, set him on the porch, and closed the door....locking it. he stopped immediately. he didn't want any of his friends to see him crying "like a baby." that seemed to help decrease the amount, length, and volume of his "little episodes," bc i just had to say, "oh...do you want to go outside?" lol! it was one of my finer moments in parenting. i've learned you just have to find their "button," ......and then hope it works long enough for you to make a difference in behavior.

good luck

[Withay]

roflmbo mommy. I can just see you packing your 11 yr old around Kohl's. I love the line you used.

One time, when my niece was about 2 she decided to pitch a hissy fit at my nephews birthday party. I told her she wasn't doing a very good job. Could I please show her how? I lay down on the floor next to her and proceeded to holler, kick, thrash around and hit hands on floor - the whole nine yards. She never ever threw another hissy fit anywhere near me. My family just howled with laughter. Here I was, a 30 year old woman having a huge hissy fit.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by Withay

roflmbo mommy. I can just see you packing your 11 yr old around Kohl's. I love the line you used.

One time, when my niece was about 2 she decided to pitch a hissy fit at my nephews birthday party. I told her she wasn't doing a very good job. Could I please show her how? I lay down on the floor next to her and proceeded to holler, kick, thrash around and hit hands on floor - the whole nine yards. She never ever threw another hissy fit anywhere near me. My family just howled with laughter. Here I was, a 30 year old woman having a huge hissy fit.

lol!!!!!! that's hysterical! oh the things we are willing to do to encourage good behavior.

[jbee]

i stuck my dd3 out on the back porch, too. once in the garage. she usually shuts up pretty quickly, lol

[mama-2-3]

I might use some of these ideas on my own 3-year-old.

[Sam-N-Tony]

I think what the hardest part of when a child is having a tantrum is when your out in public. It's one of those things as parents that we have to get used to the fact that people are going to stare and make their comments. I am one of those parents (and I know some poeple out there don't agree with me or hate shopping with me) that will let the child have a full out tantrum in the store and I continue to shop. Because honestly if you leave the store they are still "winning" regardless of them wanting to be there or not. They want you to stop whatever it is that you are doing so all the attention is focused on you. People are going to stare and you just act like nothing is going on, I suggest carry your IPOD at all times, I sure do.

Your actually the safest in the store, your on video not hitting or threatening your child, while a fit. Where you are at home and the neighbors hear and call the cops, cops come out, talk to the kid and he makes some sort of elaborate story.

My previous fson was a screamer and my neighbors knew it, so I wasn't really ever concerned with them calling the cops but I suggest get on your neighbors good graces to avoid that. You can explain that you have a screamer and most parents will understand exactly what your talking about.