[BibleBarb]

Hiya All, You all seem to be very familiar with fostercare/adoption maybe you can help me.
I'm a 51 yr old single woman. I have 4 children all out on their own and 10 grandchildren with one on the way in August. I am a nurse, but am currently working on a career change to Activity Director in Geriatrics. I'm currently working in an adult day care center, I love my job! I seem to be going through a very delayed, "Empty Nest Syndrome." I have been thinking for quite some time about being a foster parent and maybe even adopting an older child or a special needs child. I have alot of love to give and would like to share that love with children. I sold my home a little over a year ago and purchased a 3 bedroom mobile home set up in a mobile home park. Right now I'm using a small bedroom for storage and the other extra bedroom as my computer room. My computer room has a bathroom that connects with the smaller bedroom. I have a full bath, laundry area and my bedroom on the other side of my home. I have a small yard, we are not allowed by park rules to fence in the yard. I have 2 chihuahuas who are noisy at times, but friendly. All of my children except for one are living pretty far away so I don't get to see them much. I'm not a clean freak, my home is clean, but has a lived in look. I could move my computer room into the smaller bedroom to make a room for a child. It would make a nice bedroom with a bathroom attached. As I stated earlier, I'm 51 yrs old, I have some arthritis which does not affect my functioning. I'm not making as much money as I did when I worked as a nurse, but I have a whole lot less stress in my life now. I'm going to soon start the process to become a foster parent, but don't know how good my chances will be. Is there anyone out there who has a similar situation and was allowed to foster or adopt a child? Does anyone have any suggestions that will help me in my process? Any help will be appreciated. Does anyone think I have a chance here? Thanx .......Barb

[Sam-N-Tony]

Welcome!!

It sounds like you have a really good chance. Being a foster parent is not really about chances. Usually the only people not accepted are people with a history of arrests, child abuse etc. There are lot of foster parents that live in mobile homes, so I would not consider that an issue.

As far as adopting a older "special needs" child, I'm pretty sure they will allow to and would be very quick to approve you since you are interested in an older child. Which there are a lot of people who will not take older children.

I say go for it!

Your ONLY 51, it's not like your 90 and frail. And they would be more comfortable with a older child because you have grown children and have experienced older children.

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by BibleBarb

Does anyone think I have a chance here? Thanx .......Barb

YES! If your fingerprints come back clean and you have space for a child, your local CPS office will be SOO glad to have you. There is a child out there waiting for you. So don't let your age stop you. You're still a youngster!!

[BibleBarb]

Thank you for your support I'm going to start getting the ball rolling here. I do have a question though? Do I need to have this room set up as a bedroom prior to a homestudy? I'm new to all of this so I'm not so sure what to do. I'd hate to fix this room all up to a bedroom and then not be approved. If they needed to place a child in an emergency, I do have a very nice camping blow up mattress that is the actual size of a single bed. There is a dresser in the room already. Only problem is LOL, the room is painted a very nice mauve color. Nice for a girl, but don't think a boy would like it LOL. I'm not worried about any criminal check they do on me, I've not had any legal problems or child abuse issues. Recently I signed up with a Nursing Agency to keep my nursing skills up and they had to do a child abuse check and criminal check on me for that. All is well with that. I know I'm not, "An Old Lady," LOL, but my main concern is that they may take my arthritis as a negative thing. Ok, my running days are over LOL, but I'm still fairly active. I had custody of my then 8 yr old grandson for about a year because my daughter married an airforce man and my grandson's bio father wouldn't let him go overseas. His bio father had little or no contact with him for most of his life and after taking custody of my grandson, he couldn't deal with having another child in his home, he has 4 other children, he gave up his parental rights of my grandson. Anyway, I had custody of him for about a year and I was able to keep up with him LOL and he had lots of emotional baggage from being ripped away from his mother the way he was. Things worked out for him, I was able to manage his temper outbursts and eventually with lots of love, patience and therapy, my grandson returned to his mother a completely different child than he was when he first came to me. So I know I can handle a child even a special needs child. But will the agency think the same, thats my concern. I have love to give and am willing to open my heart and my home to a child. I just pray that I can get approved. Who knows I may even adopt and become a new parent post empty nest LOL..................Barb

[Sam-N-Tony]

Yes, you will need to have the room "prepared" for the homestudy. It doesn't mean you have to go out and paint the room this weekend but they will be looking for a bed, dresser, closet space. The basics. You can look at your local good will you can get pretty much all that stuff pretty cheap or yard sales.

Good Luck.

[ranoutofnames]

In my area you don't have to have a room ready for the homestudy... so when you start your classes and they mention the homestudy, ask at that time. It takes a while to go through the process (expect 6+months) so don't feel pressure to get your home ready today.

Being a nurse you may also get calls to take medically fragile infants or medically needy children. We have a need for foster parents who can give diabetic shots and such in our area. We also had a boy (brother to a former son) that had to be placed 2hrs away from us because of burns and there wasn't a home trained and prepared for his medical needs.

Best of luck in your endeavor!

[mama-2-3]

I was never told that we "HAD" to have the room ready, but it was STRONGLY suggested that we have it ready for the homestudy. I think they like to see that you have a nice warm bed (or two) and know that you are really serious about taking the necessary steps.
Good luck.... I think they will be very happy to have you.

[Withay]

Barb -

I am a single, 52 year old woman who is in the process of adopting my first child - 14 months old, medically fragile.

My home has that 'lived in' look. I have too much stuff for the square footage, but am working on culling a lot (via a planned garage sale). The cw and my certifier all tell me that they don't care all that much that I have my sewing machines on the dining room table with scrapbooking materials all over. What they care about is that the area where my kids are is clean. They also say that if I had a spotless home they would wonder when I spent time with the babies.

Good luck and welcome to the forums.

[mrsred]

biblebarb, your name gives away the fact that you are a woman of God. So, if He is calling you to do this, move forward with faith!! I wouldn't actually "decorate" the room yet, as you don't know what the child you get will be interested in. But I would go ahead and move the computer to the other room and clear out the storage stuff. I would get a generic bed and dresser, so that you woudl be "child ready".

(by the way, I am 52, and although we have chosen not to, we were approved to adopt our four year old foster daughter. We have already adopted two older children, and didn't even start the process till I was 48.)

[RobinKay]

How wonderful to even consider taking in a child. I am 53 and we adopted our eight year old son last year.

Your training and expertise will be a blessing to a child. I am so happy at the thought of a child coming to you.

On a practical note, I'd paint the bedroom and neutral color, then you can add pictures or posters to decorate and personalize the room. Maybe your child would like to help choose things!

[blubutterflies03]

You go for it BibleBarb~ The children need you and you sound like you have your heart in all the right places!

[athikers]

A 51 year old retired nurse would be a dreamy adoptive placement for my foster son. There are children out there who need you. Good luck.

[Howdy]

Unless you are willing to take a teenager the process of getting licensed takes quite a while (for me it was 9 months but that was partly because they sent the reference letters to the wrong people - amazingly one of the people sent in a reference for me even though they didn't know me!) so I don't think you need to be in a big hurry about the room. I agree with ranoutofnames that you should ask when you take the classes.

When I started the process, I didn't even have a room, only had plans to put a wall and closet on one end of the living room to create a second bedroom in my one bedroom apartment. The licensing worker thought I should wait before even making the room. I was more optimistic than her though and I went ahead and had the room built, then it sat empty for several months until I finally received a placement.

[KelleyF]

I have heard that it can take a long time, but for some reason it didn't take us long at all once we started the classes. All of our inspections were done within two weeks of us sending in our application. We actually got our first placement before we finished the classes! Once our background checks were cleared we got a sibling group and we still had 3 weeks of classes left and our homestudy wasn't even done yet! They did it a few days after the kids moved in. They must have been desperate for foster homes.