[Kristin7]

Folks......I finally heard about the court case. Goal was changed...no longer a RU goal. Services have been stopped to bios and visits are stopped and reduced. TPR petition has been filed by states attorney and we have a date for the first tpr hearing.

Its bittersweet...but necessary. I hate this for my sister.....but i long for permanency for the girls.

I can breathe now.....at least for awhile and enjoy the girls.

K.

[bethy724]

Congrats! Good for you & your girls - hopefully TRP will go smoothly & you can all have some sense of perminancy.

[Yash]

Finally! I'm so happy for you guys.

[stevenstwin]

I'm so sorry for your sister and for the effect this has had on your whole family - but I've very glad for you and the girls that it is going this way!!

[ranoutofnames]

Glad you are finally moving in a direction.

If I remember right not only are there issues with your sister but your parents aren't exactly "supportive"... unless I have you mixed up.

How's that going?

[Boulderbabe]

I'm so glad you all can have some relief from all the drama!

I know how bad you feel for your sister, but just keep telling yourself the truth: she chose this, not you. She had alternatives, and this is what she decided to do. It's not the decision you would have made for her, but it was not your decision to make.

[allforone]

I agree with Boulderbabe. Hope all goes well with the TPR. I know it was a relief for us to have ours completed.

i am thrilled for you and your girls.

[Mummy_Big_Bird]

Thank God, at last!!! I am so happy for you and the girls!

[momofbgtwins]

Congratulations, I am very happy for you and your family.

[kxl164]

That is wonderful for the girls to be given a start in the right direction toward permanancy. I was thrilled to read your update.

I do understand you feeling of loss for your sister, who better than you actually understands what she is losing, but like BB said, she chose this not you and not the girls.

Thank goodness you have been there for them through the whole ordeal. I hope the end comes soon you can all move forward with your lives!

[tvs4]

I'm so glad for you and the girls!

I can imagine that you are sad for your sister but you did nothing to make her "fail". This was not a competition between you and your sister. You were the "safety net" for the girls when your sister chose to make some bad choices. Maybe someday your sister will realize that. I commend you for doing the right thing for the girls.

[fostermomintx]

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you and the girls. Now maybe you all can just concentrate on being a family without all the drama. I'm sorry about your sister but she did choose this not you.

Enjoy your time with the girls!

[Kristin7]

Thanks everyone.

I really appreciate the kind words.

I have a question......what do you all think about visits after the TPR is done and the girls have permanency.

Frequency, length, not allowing visits at all, etc?

I don't think keeping the girls from their mother and not allowing some sort of contact, is the best thing for the girls.

THoughts?

Thank you

[tvs4]

Could you ask the girls how often they might like to see their mom? Maybe they don't want to see her that often if the visits are not that much fun or are very stressful for them?

I think i'd probably start more conservative (like 2x a year for 2 hours a visit) and then if things go well, mom is doing well, then I'd up the contact. I think it will be easier to increase contact it rather than decrease it so, I'd start with low expectations and then over time if it works out then the contact increase.

just my 2 cents.

[Kristin7]

Thanks for your response. Really only 2x/year? The girls have been seeing their mom weekly....how will i explain the change in frequency to the girls?

My oldest was the caretaker when she was with mom....though that wasn't very long....and I know that she will want to know how mom is doing and check up on her.

Would monthly be too frequent? I guess it all depends on how healthy my sister is and if she is agreeable to act appropriate with the girls.

Thanks....