[MassachusettsMom]

The trial to TPR our FS's bparent rights began this week, and after only one full day of testimony from one social worker, the judge took the DSS atty aside and told her she wasn't presenting compelling enough evidence to TPR. This is a case where the bparents have failed to submit screens and showed up to a recent visit under the influence. Yet apparently that's not enough.

Our FS has been with us for 6 months and in care for all but six weeks of his life. DSS doesn't think the bparents are fit, but if the judge won't terminate, it seems like they have no choice but to start reunification.

DSS will hopefully make the decision today on whether to proceed with the trial or reunification or more delay.

I know some of you have been through this. We want to hold out hope that even if reunification begins, he may still end up with us. But are we just in denial?

[vegaschristina]

What a hard situation. Unfortunately, there does have to be more than just not doing their screens to TPR. We went to TPR on my foster kids only after the birth mom hadn't been in for visits in over a year! And then the birth mom contested it! Eventually she relinquished in my case, but there has to be more than not passing a drug test to terminate rights.

On the other hand, I can see how much you love your little guy. Give it to God. He has a plan for our children. He either expects us to love these children for a while or for a lifetime, but it's His plan.

[stevenstwin]

I am sorry to hear this. It is very sad to see the possiblity of a child going back to a home that is just barely squeaking by, when he is already in one that is so much more suitable. Unfortunately, they just can't do a "where would he be better off?" scenario. All the parents have to do is "enough". In this case, hold on to your faith...even if the parents are doing "enough" that the judge won't terminate YET, there is still a possibility it will happen at some point in the future.

[sunsetsky]

Hugs!!!!! I am following your journey. I feel for you. i will say a prayer for you and your baby.

[buttascotchbaby]

Hang in there! It ain't over til its over Sometimes time can be your best friend, give the bio parents more time and they just may "hang themselves". TPR is HARD (and, it should be! It shouldn't be something done lightly) and with more time, more evidence may come up that DSS can use. I know it is frustrating, but it still could work out. Hang in there and keep a journal! Document everything that you see that may help the case. You know your child better than anyone else at this time.

[MassachusettsMom]

DSS is going to continue with the trial. The next date is in May, and DSS will decide after that whether to continue with the trial (if there is more evidence) or start reunification. I asked the worker yesterday if they would send our FS home even if they thought it was still unsafe, and she said they would have to if the judge said to.

So he's with us for another few weeks, at least. Our FS is too young to understand what is happening, so our social worker said to just continue on as we have been. But does anyone have any suggestions on how to go about preparing a 15-month-old for reunification? We were so super-careful when we transitioned him from his foster home to ours, but I have no expectations that his birthfamily will do the same. So what can we do to protect this little boy? Gosh, this SUCKS!!

[KelleyF]

Unfortunately, this is a crazy game of waiting and patience. Another poster said it perfectly, when it comes to TPR issues, time is your friend. The longer a child is placed with you, the more likely the judge will leave him there. Of course, that's not always the case but more ofter than not, yes.
Good luck and be patient. It's a long haul. By the way, we're neighbors! I'm from R.I. (and I'm going to the Red Sox game on Tues. whoo hoo!)

[purplecat]

Sending you a cyber ((((HUG))) please do not give up hope.

[MassachusettsMom]

We just got a smidgen of news that the case to TPR our FS's bparents is looking up. We don't know much yet, except that bparents might not be doing as well as had been reported. We should find out more later this week. But please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

[ALfostermom]

one of our sw supervisors told us at the last fp association meeting that they cant tpr just b/c a birthparent is an alcoholic/drug user. they have to prove where it is affecting the child. I am also afraid that my 4 yr old fs is fixing to be sent home on a technicality where the original cw didn't write the opening report right. (ie.-full fridge of beer but no electricity in the house--didn't state that mom was putting her wants before childs needs.---you would think that was apparent). I have always been told it is harder to tpr than to put a murder on death row, now i believe it.....i will be praying for you.

[mrsred]

Prayers and hugs going your way.

[MassachusettsMom]

Just thought I'd post an update: the TPR trial continues next month. In the meantime, DSS filed a neglect report on a sibling still in the BP's home, but didn't pull the child. Does this strengthen the TPR case? Or is it weakened b/c there is still another child in the BP's home that hasn't been pulled?

[Sam-N-Tony]

I would expect that since there are new allegations on a current sibling, that more will seem to follow, they usually don't stop at one complaint. It can do both, make your TPR stronger if removal is actually done. What is the reason why she has one bio in the home and you have others?

[KelleyF]

I'm sure any negitive reports on the BP's would strengthen the TPR case. How can they leave another child in their care? I really don't get DCYF. Seems like they always put the parent's wants above the child's needs every time. That's the only thing that makes me question doing foster care. I love the kids, it's the system that stinks.

[MassachusettsMom]

The child still in the home is a new baby born since our FS came into care. Apparently the BPs are holding it together (but barely) enough to care for the new baby -- with LOTS of support from DSS, of course. I think this is one of the reasons why the TPR case is dragging on so long: DSS thinks that the BPs are barely able to cope with one child, let alone more; the TPR judge sees an apparently healthy baby (that they bring to the trial with them) and the BPs are arguing that the whole family should be reunited. SO frustrating, as DSS has plenty of evidence that they haven't dealt with the issues that led to our FS's removal from their home. I'm still terrified that they'll return him, and as soon as the various DSS services end, they'll fall apart.

Has anyone had TPR on one child while another remains in the BP's home?