[shy_bear]

So we finalize in two weeks...I know our son is ours. We go out to lunch today after running some errands. My husband and the man at the next table start up a conversation. The man, who is a complete stranger to us, tells us how he is in a half way house and has three years left on his sentence and how he was very heavily involved with drugs and did some very bad things!!! He kept commenting on how cute the baby is...which we get all the time. He at one point reaches over and touches the baby. The baby shyed away. We don't know who is birthparents are...bdad is listed as unknown and we only know bmoms name. I was totally creeped out! I don't know if it was more that this man was very open about his past or if it was that he seemed SO interested in our child. How do I get past the not knowing???? I can't imagine how hard it is going to be on our son not knowing his bio's and their history b/c it drives me crazy!! How have you all dealt with this?

[Withay]

I've not had to deal with that, yet, but I have had a stranger come up to me at a store and call my fd by her nickname. Scared the living daylights out of me as this man waited outside the store for me to exit before approaching me. Turns out he was the husband of birthmom, but not the baby's father (long story). He was ok, just wanted to make sure baby was ok. Mom got her act together and the wee was was reunified (yippee!!!!!).

[ranoutofnames]

It's this very thing that has always lead me to be glad I fostered my kids before adoption. Even so I almost never met A2's bdad. He was always absent and at the one court hearings I almost didn't attend he actually showed up... looking like a very tarnished Jesus.

A couple of months ago I saw him walking into a Wal-Mart and pointed him out to my husband. He didn't recognize me and would never recognize my daughter since he's never really seen her (she was at the court hearing but he only glanced her way once and not by his choice.)

A2's bdad has threatened in the past to kidnap her, I've heard he still makes the threat through family and prior workers. I'm so glad I know what he looks like to help protect my child.

[RNB]

We had two simular situations. While at CPS my 15 year old daughter took our FS out in the hallway to walk around while my wife was filling out some paperwork. This woman walked up to her and started yelling at her, "give me my baby". My daughter snatched him up and ran back in the office. They tossed my family in a room and escorted her into another room, until my three could leave. Turns out it was in fact his mother. Another time, during one of the "supervised" visits she actually took him and got about 2 miles down the road before CPS and the police caught her.

The other situation was I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up some phenobarbatol (sp?) for our 3 month old fs w/shaken baby syndrome. I have him with me and the lady at the counter starts grilling me of "why do you have (name) baby?" Then she starts telling everyone this is so-n-so's baby. Now I have like 8 people, customers and employees, circling the wagons wondering why I have him. I explained I am his foster father, grabbed my meds and got outta there fast. We live on a small island where everyone knows everyone, so I am always looking over my shoulder and keeping the kids in arms reach.

[MomwithFive]

That must be hard. Our biggest concern for our daughter is socially inappropriate extended bio family. The other is biodad. We are hoping he wouldn't want to hurt our daughter but he was inappropriate before the adoption so we'll see. From what I know he isn't always in the area. His family lives in another state. So, hopefully it won't be a problem. He has a history of incarcerations so who knows if it will happen again.

[Empty_Nest]

Our biggest fear, now that we're considering adopting in our own state.