[Alissad]

I am a new user to this site and posting. I am looking for advice with the foster care adoption we are going through. My husband and I have two children, a biological son (12) and a daughter (9) adopted as an newborn. We decided it was time add to our family through foster care adoption. It took a year to be certified. Finally we were chosen for the placement of two children. A girl (7) and a boy (3). We also had to agree to take their baby half-sister (1)when she became available. All was going to work out to have the baby placed this month until a week ago. Many errors have taken place and now we are on hold. The system waited 6 months for the bio dad (who was in jail) to prove paternity. At 8 months the state finally stepped in. Bio dad said he would sign his rights away. The state decided to wait for him to get out of jail before having him sign. Thankfully he did sign the week he got out. His mother (who has been missing for the last 4 years found out about the baby and says she wants her. The bio dad says no way. After 3 months of trying to contact her the state sends a letter with 14 days to respond if she is still interested. She does on the last day. Meanwhile dad has changed his mind and now they have to provide him services. (He is a meth user). The bio mom has appealed to supreme court, but was not given a hearing to gain her rights back. The baby was born in jail and the state has said from the beginning she was not going home and placed her on the fast-track system. The two siblings are very attached to her and ask for her daily. We have been doing visits, but the foster home is 4 hours away one direction. We have even had her in our home for a week at a time. When we take her back she reaches and cries for us when the foster parents try to take her.

My question is, what to do now? Is there any way to fight this? Do we keep doing visits? The 7 year old has major attachment/anxiety issues and cannot feel settled until the baby is in the home. Sorry for the long story. I would appreciate any advice.

[Sam-N-Tony]

I'm sorry I'm kind of confused. I am assuming that you would be the adoptive home of the kids. If so, why would they consider a adoptive family if the TPR has not been fully completed and all appeals period past.

[Chancey]

I'm sorry, this is too confusing to follow. Can you clarify?

[MomofFaith]

I think I understand what is being said. Let me see if I get this straight....Your family has been matched with the 3 siblings. You have two of them, but because of new circumstances between the bio parents the State has put the baby's placement with you on hold until they figure out which direction this case will go (ie: adoptive or RU). Meanwhile you and your family are visiting the baby and are becoming attached and visa versa. Now you don't know what to do because of the placement hold? If I understand your story correctly this is a hard situation to be in. Emotional for you and the children. After reading some of the bio parents story and circumstances I don't think you have anything to worry about. I think at this point it is just a waiting game while the bio parents play their little game between each other. There are always legal steps that have to be followed and the bio parents have their rights. And you want them to have all of their opportunities now so they can't come back later and say they never got them. Meanwhile, I would just document the emotional trauma (if any) that these children are having to go through and document the sibling bond and attachment (if any) that they are experiencing. Other than that I am not aware of anything you can really do.

Sam-n-Tony: Usually they will place kids in an adoptive home before TPR is completed so they have a family to adopt them. At least that is the way they do things here in CA.

It sounds like the state doesnt want to place the baby with you yet because you are an adoptive home and if the case goes towards RU then moving the baby would not be in baby's best interest or your family's. Keep faith though and don't give up, this could just be a hiccup in your adoption journey. I know we had plenty in ours!

[Alissad]

Sorry my story was confussing. We are the adoptive family. The baby and the other two siblings have been together since her birth in the same foster home. The state knew the bio father was willing to sign his rights away, but waited until he was out of jail to do the paperwork. While being considered for the siblings we had to agree to take the baby also. It was suppose to be just a matter of paperwork. All the caseworkers were telling us it would only be a few months from when we took the siblings home. The baby's county is encouraging us to continue visits, but I also don't understand why if they haven't done a TPR with the bio dad. The baby was placed on a "fast track system" at birth so she could go with the siblings. Are there any rules to how quick they have to get them through it? We have a new caseworker now and hope she will be a little more involved.