[morandi7]

I just wanted to update - we're not taking the bio-sister. We discussed it at length and my husband is DONE with kids. He's at the age he's thinking of retirement in the next 10 years. Nobody told me to marry an old man! I am sad, but also can understand where my hubby is coming from. It would add a lot of stress to our family and, even though I think the baby would be healthy, there's always that chance she would have problems, and that would be very unfair to our daughter and the rest of our kids. (Birthmom had a couple of boys that were diagnosed with microcephaly - a factor we had to consider with our daughter, and she doesn't have it, thank God). The baby was about 1 lb smaller than our daughter at birth and, like with all her children, exposed to meth and pot.

I knew deep down in my heart my husband wouldn't change his mind. He said twice last night that "we can't save the world", which is true. I didn't necessarily want to start over with another baby myself, but the thought of two princesses was very appealing. I'm grateful that I have my one princess, she has been a dream come true for me and our family and we're so lucky to have her. I also take comfort knowing that a family that really wants her is out there and she will make them so very happy, if she's anything like our daughter! I'm hoping we can eventually have some contact with the sister, if our daughter wants to later in life. I think I'm going to let that be her choice.

I appreciate everyone's support on these boards, it means so much to me. I know I'll be here over the years for other issues that pop up or to lend a hand to someone else confronting a similar circumstance.

Lisa

[ranoutofnames]

I'm sure it was a very hard decision to come too.

... and on the flip side, if I were the foster mommy welcoming that precious bundle of joy into my home I'd want to reach out and give you just the biggest hug ever for giving me the chance at a little princess of my own!

[Mama Julie]

Hi Lisa,
I was wondering what your decision would be. I applaud you for making the right decision for your family. I'm sure it was tempting to take in your daughter's bio-sister, but newborns sure are exhausting for parents, with the lack of sleep and all. I'm 44 & my husband is 46, and we're also in the "no more newborns" boat. With working full-time and having 2 school-aged kids, it's just too much to add a newborn into the mix.
I hope you'll get to visit the baby often and that she will grow up near your home. Does your daughter know about the baby? I'd imagine you'll tell her if/when you get a visit; first, they'll have to locate a foster family etc. And besides she's so young, she won't completely understand who the baby really is until she's older. Take care.
Julie