[YaYaPow]

What do you guys send with the babies when they start their overnight (weekend) visits with bio mom. Should I send everything to cover the entire weekend? (diapers, wipes, food, milk etc) My foster baby is 6 months old. Thanks for any input.

YaYa

[One_Happy_Momma]

I got my FC a little suitcase for his weekend visits, so he could pack his clothes, and little extra stuff that he may want to take with him, but my SW said NO. She wanted me to send him only with the clothes he was wearing. The SW wanted mom to be responsible for her child, and that meant providing for him.

I would ask the SW her opinion on the matter. Some are hard to predict and if mom calls to complain about you, you'll get an earfull. Best to be safe and keep the peace!

[hunterfamily]

I agree with the previous post. You can't hand the bio mom everything she needs, this is when she is supposed to show she can take care of her child. Don't do everything for the bio mom, it will not help her in the long run.

[Withay]

I sent a paper showing the schedule I had my fd on, her food likes and dislikes, sizes, etc to the last visit before the overnight. That way her mom had time to get things ready and was responsible for everything.

[shaylynn]

I have given the parents a container of formula for them to keep at their house (gotten thru WIC) so that way the child is kept on the same type of formula. I too have made out a schedule so they know what the child is used too. For the first visit, I usually send the diapers, wipes, and clothes but I have the worker tell them, that from now on, it will be their duty to provide the stuff.(unless otherwise told by sw to me to provide) Also remember not to send clothes that you may want back, because there is a great chance it won't come back.

[JSAUNTIE]

We never did overnights but we did one hour long supervised homevisit and I told CW I wasnt sending in the diaper bag Bios need to get the stuff they need as part of getting their children back.

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Here, you are actually not required to send anything to visits with the bios. That doesn't mean CW won't recommend it but it is your decision. Even hour long visits in my county, the bios are instructed to prepare and bring a snack or bring money for the vending machine. I am often tempted to send something with R in his backpack as they pick him up from school and he has back to back visits with mom and dad and is used to an after-school snack.....but I don't want to enable his parents. I feel they are given MORE and more help until they see nothing pertaining to their child as their responsibility.

I think it is the least they can do if they are so far along that they think they are ready for overnight visits.....especially bios like my currect FS's biomom who still receives a check on him even with him in state custody. Ridiculous. The state is paying twice for this child....but they say she needs to keep her bills paid and housing in place to be ready to take him back (if she begins anything on her caseplan...which she hasn't) and she depends on the check she gets for him as well as her own disability check to cover those expenses. I see their point but geez.

I would do as the others suggest and send an informative note telling diaper size, nipple preference and bottles, amount they typically drink and the schedule they are on. Don't expect your advice to be followed, don't expect the child to be bathed, and expect the child to come back completely off schedule.....then you won't be disappointed and may even be pleasantly surprised if they take any of your advice!!

Kim