[MomofFaith]

I have not been on this site in a while since I took placement of my son back in September. We got him when he was 3mos old and we love him so much and couldn't imagine life without him. My husband and I started out this whole process with the intent to adopt and not foster. I couldn't handle getting kids or babies and losing them, but that is where I need support and prayers. We have a TPR Hearing next Friday and the birthmom is contesting her rights from being terminated. We are filing for de facto parent status so we have a right and say in court nxt Friday. The birthmom was not granted any services but she went into a program herself for 3 mos and finished. I am glad she is trying to get her life together, since she lost two children for drugs already....but she is not in a place to be able to care for and raise an infant. I do not want to lose my son and if that happens, myself, my daughter and husband will be devastated. Please help us pray for a miracle in our situation and that God allows our son to stay with us forever. As you can see from my Avator, he is precious. Thank you to all!

[vegaschristina]

You're absolutely right, he's a doll, but you really need to take down that picture. You're not allowed to post pictures of foster kids online. I'd hate for you to get into trouble. As for prayers, you've got it!

[mrsred]

Praying the prayer than never fails, that His will be done.

[punchkin]

Sending prayers you way too!

[Yash]

I'm praying for you and your family. Never forget God has plans for you and your family and that precious little boy, plans for you to prosper...

[MomofFaith]

Sorry to all I did not know I couldn't put his pic up. I am just so proud of him and wanted to share his pic for all to see. My husband and I do have a family website sharing our adoption journey, so am I allowed to list the site address?
Anyway, we filed for De Facto Parent status yesterday and my employer wrote a letter on the behalf of the company about myself and my family which is really good, so I was able to attach that to the filing. For court next Friday I am planning on finishing up my scrapbooking for baby's book and bring it to show the judge how our family is with baby and how happy baby is and stable. Does anyone know if this would be a good thing to present to the judge? All I know is that God will REALLY have to work in me that day not to fall a part, especially in court.
Thank you to all for your prayers and thoughts.

We are continuing to hold on to our faith.

[ranoutofnames]

They probably covered this in your foster parent training, but just in case...

The TPR hearing has nothing to do with you as a foster parent and not much at all to do with your son. The judge might look at the book but IF he does it will be more with the eye of "I'm glad they are taking care of him". The judge is only interested in the bparent's efforts and demonstrated ability.

It's odd she wasn't offered any services, and in her favor that she voluntarily entered a program and completed it. There is a chance he could order the bparent be offered RU services and continue the case.

My A3's bparents had their rights terminated by the courts on 4 children before she came into custody. The bparents demonstrated just enough effort to convince the judge they should be offered reunification services... and here we are, 15 months later and still working on RU.

It's a wild ride being a foster parent!

[Hadley2]

To second ranoutofnames caution, foster care cases and TPR trials are not contests between the parents (they are simply the parents, not "birth" or "bio" or "first" yet) and anyone else, including foster parents or pre-adoptive parents. It probably is not a good idea to go in and speak in any way as if it is...the defense could claim that you are thwarting the mother's RU efforts, which could be used to extend the case and disrupt baby's placement with you.

You can report admissable facts about the mother that you have direct knowledge of (things you personally witnessed, sometimes, depending on state hearsay rules, things she has told you), but your opinion of her ability or readiness to parent again would be inappropriate. Your willingness and ability to continue to care for baby and provide a permanent home if RU doesn't happen probably isn't really relevant to TPR in any way--the judge is not supposed to consider it when deciding TPR.

Understand that the TPR event is different from a review hearing...it is an actual trial that can have a life-altering, devestating, binding outcome for someone else's life. Look up your state's laws for the grounds needed for TPR. If you don't have any facts relating to those grounds or your state's definition of the child's best interest, you probably have no need to speak at all.

You may want to talk to the agency lawyer before the hearing to find out if they need or want you to testify to anything actually pertaining to the case or to make any statement. It is easy, with emotions running high, to rock the boat in unexpected and maybe unwanted ways.

It is very hard to sit by on the sidelines and know that your family life is in other people's hands. Know that you have many people's hopes for the best outcome for this baby.

[sunsetsky]

I agree with the other posters. I want to add that it seemed to me that the judge cared about be being there. I did let my wishes known if the case would go to adoption. I would follow my heart but don't sell yourself but talk about how well the baby is doing in your care. I wanted to bring a photobook too but I didn't because I didn't want it added into the court files. Be careful because the judge has his/her own personality pro family and prior history with parent so on so forth. I wish I had got an attorney but I was afraid of upsetting the parents and DSS. I will be testifying and I am nervous but like the other posters said it is about the baby, his needs and what it takes to care for him. Oh be careful... BTW don't post his picture anywhere on the internet. Especially sense I can tell it is wonderful... smile! It can be used to say you are not supporting the RU if there will be one. I hope this is just a straight adoption... right now I could use a happy story! He is beautiful!

[sunsetsky]

I just wanted to add that no services just means (in my case) that the parents won't have any help from DSS. Your fc's mother did exactly what my fc's mother did she found a program on her own. In other words, DSS doesn't hold their hands. It does look good for her that she did that but it looks bad for her that they moved to TPR so quickly. I think she may have other issues too. The judge would be looking to see if she goes to another program to stay sober. I hope you know all this already. The judge gave my fc's parents the full fifteen months. It could have been fast tracked by the rules of adoption. I pray for the best for your foster son.