[Tunay4754]

The lawyers office called back today and said they will contact the permanency specialist at our agency to let her know they are representing us and that they think surrenders do not need to be done in court. If that is right then I think its good because we would like it done as soon as possible. They also said that fs would qualify for a full subsidy of medicaid and the board payments that we receive now. Also, that we won't have to pay them anything as the state will pay for their bill to represent us. Its good news. I just hope things move quickly but am prepared that there could be some delays along the way also.

Tunay

[Tunay4754]

Just a quick update. Caseworker spoke with legal for DCFS and also the states atty on the case and they don't think surrenders would need to be done in court so that is a plus on the time factor. DCFS legal is contacting the bio-fathers lawyer about his surrenders. We need to take an adoption conversion class before the adoption can be finalized but I am not at all worried about our part of the process. I don't really care how long it takes to finish it out because once surrenders are signed we will know that he is ours.

Tunay

[atouchofheaven]

i'm in CT. our termination happened Sept 07, and my son's CW said the adoption would be no later than the new year. well, in december she changed it to March. now she is saying definitely by April. i'm not worried about it since the termination happened already. i don't believe anything they see until i see a court date in writing. that's just the expectation you have to have in foster care. don't expect anything to go the way they first tell you. that's just my experience.

oh, and we have a subsidy till he's 18 because he is considered special needs because of a specific allergy.

[Tunay4754]

Well, it was decided it was best for bio-mom to surrender in court before the judge due to her mental history. Caseworker called us Thursday afternoon saying that she was able to get added to the docket for yesterday (Friday) morning. Bio-mom invited us to come to court for surrenders so we did.

However she backed out at the last minute in court saying the court date happened too fast (less than 24 hr notice) and she wasn't prepared as she didn't have any support lined up for when she left court, etc. Had also recently been off her meds so her lawyer really worked her over emotionally trying to convince her that she wouldn't be able to handle it afterwards and then advised her not to sign that day.

Now I guess we wait until the next permanency hearing which is in early May to see what happens. It was very disappointing that she did not follow through after telling us for almost 2 months that she was ready but the bio-father did sign specific surrenders so I guess something was accomplished.

[punchkin]

I'm so sorry that things did not go according to plan. I know how you feel as I went through that myself last year. I think it's digusting how these attorneys play with these parents head. Hang in there, I know it's hard but it will happen. Praying Gods will and sending you cyber hugs.

[Tunay4754]

Punchkin,

I just don't understand why birthmom's atty was so dead set against her doing what she wanted to do and thought was best for her son. Atty pulled every manipulative thing she could think of to get birthmom to back out and eventually succeeded by scaring her about her own mental stability afterwards. Later in the day birthmom was upset that she had been pressured out of doing it. She had been preparing for this since late December and felt sick that she hadn't gone through with it. DCFS legal was there and at the end got in a verbal fight with birthmom's atty when said atty told birthmom she could not go before the judge that day to do it. Caseworker was also present and is going to find out if there is some way she can file a grievance regarding behavior of birthmom's atty.

We found out last night at caseworkers monthly visit to our home that birthmom's atty has moved to a new section and will no longer be her atty which we are very happy about. Hopefully her new atty will be more supportive of birthmom's decision to sign surrenders so maybe it can happen at the next court date.

Tunay

[punchkin]

Tunay- Your case sounds just like mine. My fs bmom wanted to sign her surrender papers back in April 07. Her Atty. would not allow her too. In the process fs was getting abused, [can't prove it] since it was weekend unsupervised visits. His whole demeanor changed. Anybody that he thought was taking him to see bmom, he would run from, scream, hollar, and hide under his bed till they left. We kept having CFTM after another. Dcs atty., and bmom's atty. almost came to blows because bmom wanted to surrender. At the beginning of Sept.07 after dcs had come to get fs for his weekend visit, with him holding on to me for dear life screaming bloody murder, I just couldn't take it anymore. I called the Commissioner. I told her what was going on. How dcs had dropped the ball since day one. How fs came into custody at 3 months with broken bones and 3rd degree burns and that he was still being abused not only by bfamily, but by dcs has well. I said a lot more than this thou. I also told her that I would not be a party to abusing this baby. That he is not just a pawn, or a caseload. And I am his voice and I'm ready to fight. Needless to say, heads began to roll. The 2nd week of Sept. bmom signed her surrender paper against the advice of her atty. She said she was tired of waiting. We just did a tpr on bf, and the appeal period is over. We will be adopting fs next month hopefully.
Hang in there. I know it's hard,but so worth the fight. Know that I am praying with you and your family for a speedy resolution.

[Tunay4754]

Punchkin,

Thankfully our fs is not being abused by anyone! I don't know how I could hanlde it if he was. I'm so sorry you had to go through that but so very glad that in the end it worked out for you to adopt him so he would be safe from now on.

Birthmom has reduced his visit time on a few occasions when her other children were not present and she has asked the caseworker for him not to be present at all the visits as she wants to spend some time alone with her 3 other children that she is still trying to get back (they are 1/2 sibs of my fs).

She only gets one hour a week supervised visit with all four children. They could suspend visits between her and my fs except that he is court ordered to have 4 hours of sibling visits per month. The visits will be changing though so that she can have him only every other week. He will then stay for the 1/2 sibs visit with their father (which is not his father) which will give him four hours a month sibling visits in only two days of visits (1 hour with sibs and birthmom and immediately after, 1 hour with 1/2 sibs and their birthdad). That way birthmom will have some visits where he is not present which is what she has requested.

So, I believe that she really is ready to sign surrenders but with all kinds of manipulative threats by her own atty I can understand why she backed out. I am hopeful that next court date in early May will be different.

Tunay

[punchkin]

Tunay - Sending hugs and prayers your way.

[Tunay4754]

Thanks so much Punchkin!

[Tunay4754]

At our most recent court date (this month) bio-mom signed specific surrenders without incident and her new atty was supportive of her decision. (Bio-father signed specific surrenders in February.) Bio-mom was stable and not overly emotional about it and I gave her a photo album and we took her to McDonalds for lunch afterwards.

I spoke with our attys office yesterday and they know my agency and are projecting finalization sometime in August. We are so relieved and thankful that "J" will be with our family forever. He turns 2 next month and has been with us since 5 mo and 3 days old. He is our SON!

Tunay