[excited2adoptsoon]

I'm confused. From day one, the social workers act as if I am the decision maker on so many levels. I didn't expect this and am not sure how to react sometimes.

(1) When bio visits started about 6 months ago, the SW's made it very clear to me on several occasions that visits were up to me. They said the judge granted them but if I felt the visits were not healthy for FD, just say the word and they'd stop. All visits were supervised so I was okay with it since FD's plans are to be RU'd.

(2) I just got a call from the SW asking if I could arrange for FD to spend time with her bio's on Thanksgiving and xmas (only if I want her to and it fits into my schedule). It's just for a couple hours and again, supervised, so I am fine with it (well sorta).

(3) All phone calls to bios are also up to me.

I guess it could be nice they are giving me options...But WHY is the SW's asking me??? Shouldn't they just tell me what is best? I don't know the bio's full history, etc...and how could I make such decisions without the full story? I never even met them. Isn't this odd?

[athikers]

The visits being up to you is strange, since typically they are court ordered. But, the holiday one... I have always been told its up to me. The parents don't have the "right" to see their children on an exact date. And, if you always travel to family in another town or whatever, it may not be the slightest bit appealing to you to have a visit. Wow, a foster parent feeling empowered. That's a new one.

[Boulderbabe]

Wow. I only wish I could have made those kinds of decisions. It sounds like the CW is being really respectful of your schedule and your family life. You're lucky!

[kxl164]

This sounds like a SW who really wants what is best for your foster daughter and I am impressed by that. Many time kids are forced to go to visits or have phone calls which are very traumatic to them, and instead of changing things a bit... like one 3 hour visit a week as opposed to three 1 hour visits a week. The county usually says the kids just have to deal with it, so I am really impressed to see that you have some say about what would be best for your foster daughter.

*** On a side note, did you say before that the county doesn't have money for drug testing for the bioparents, but they give the bioparents money to take FD out to amusement parks and Chuck-E-Cheese and such for EVERY visit??

I would be making a HUGE deal about this!! (If I have it right of course!) ****

Good Luck!

[excited2adoptsoon]

k - they said they WON'T do the drug testing because the judge has not requested it. I wanted them to do a hair test - b/c one SW told me the mom knows how to fake the pee test results and she looks and acts like she's on something.

But yes, they do give the parents and my FD the free trips to chuck e cheese and amusement parks, etc almost every week. The transporting SW makes a weekly joke now about how my FD thinks visiting chuck e cheese is a normal daily activity. It's totally insane. They do everything - stay for 4 hours, unlimited games, etc from what I hear. She comes home with cotton candy and prizes every time. I don't think she even appreciates it at all anymore b/c it's become so routine.