[madfostermomma]

I just want to rage a minute. We are getting ready to head to TPR with my 2 youngest. Of course birth parents have visitation rights at this point. They say they are willing to surrender their rights to an aunt in another state - their GAL & DYFS office ( minus our brilliant worker )both want us to adopt the children because of the bond- so the fight ensues. Meanwhile they are willing to give up their rights which means they are not fighting to get the kids but are casuing problems with visitation. The oldest of the two attends school for special needs in the am so the court ordered for visitation to be changed from Friday am's to an afternoon that doesnt interfere with the child's school. All of a sudden the absentee birth mother who has shown up maybe 3 times this past year can only do Monday afternoons which of course is my fd dance class. She now works every other day apparently morning and night. Birth dad is a seperate visit ( Since they aren't together) so she has to see what's convenient for him. So here's my beef it wasn't conveneint for them to take care of their children ( they came 15 months ago in pretty bad shape ) Why do we have to bend everything around them??? WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS??? I've been down this road before and I know it's an uphill battle but it still sucks

[stevenstwin]

Yes, it does suck. It is completely unfair, and unreasonable, and (like everything else in fostering it seems) there isn't a darn thing we can do about it. Sorry you have to deal with it!! I've had to deal with ridiculous nonsense like that a few times too.

[Boulderbabe]

It's a huge, enormous, unfair, pain.

But the best thing to do is suck it up, make the kids available, and bend over backwards to make sure that visitation is offered. Then the bparents' failure to attend is counted against them, instead of having DSS' failure to make the kids available counted in their favor.

[txsar]

Madfostermomma,
Your case sounds very similar to mine. Our fs parents went to mediation 1 month before the tpr trial (after he has been in foster care for 1 year and 4 months!) and came up with some cousins in another state. We are waiting to find out if their homestudy is approved. It is insane!! And he still gets visits with both mom and dad even though dad has been charged for 2 crimes in the last 6 months!! And yet they still get visits!!
I know how you feel. We had to cancel Christmas plans last year for last minute changes in plans that CPS allowed the parents to make for a regularly scheduled visit. We got verbal approval from CPS and they went back on it. So, we had to cancel airline tickets that we had already paid for!
Sorry I had to add to your rant! I know how frustrating it can be.

txsar