[AlekseiGirl]

Hello everyone! I've been away for awhile. I moved from California to Texas in February and was broken hearted to leave my foster son behind. I just couldn't give up on the idea of him being my forever son. After alot of phone calls and dead ends, I finally got an ICPC request filed and approved by the judge. I'm done with everything on my end, just waiting for the states to catch up. I have a week long visit with him in California coming up, so I called the worker yesterday to make final arrangements for pick up and drop off. To my surprise, cw mentioned that bio mom just had a baby a month ago, which is also in foster care.

So, my question is this. My foster son is coming as a foster to adopt placement. Services have already been terminated and TPR is planned. Bio mom has been found unfit to parent because of mental illness, and low functioning mental ability. So, I'm wondering what will happen with the sibling? I made it abundantly clear to the worker that I want the baby. Since I will have the brother, and I am adopting him, does that make me a relative placement as well? I've asked my fs cw to put me in touch with the baby's worker, I'm just waiting (not-so-patiently) for a call from her. Do you think they will push for TPR on bio mom or give her another chance? I do know she hired a private attorney, no one knows how she managed that.

Anyone been through this with siblings? Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions? I am in Texas, but both children are wards of California, so there rules are more likely to follow.

Any advice appreciated!

Stephanie

[Happy123]

We are in California and by the time our bio parents had another, our adoption for our 2 boys was almost a year old. They had to go to court to have the baby placed w/ us because the parents did not want the child to go out of county. The SW did tell us that they would go straight to TPR because their situation had not changed. I believe that they do have to look at the new situation to determine what path they are going to take. We were given top priority because we had the baby's 2 full siblings. I did make a lot of phone calls to make sure everyone knew that we wanted the baby.
Good Luck,
Happy123

[AlekseiGirl]

Happy 123,

Thank you for sharing your story. How old was the baby when it was placed with you?

[AuntieCA]

The bulk of my battle has been with sibling placement - they talk about the importance blah blah blah, but are SO slow to do anything about it. (mind you I'm in CA) My sibling group of four has been in care for 18 mos and I found out that two of the FOUR SEPARATE homes they have been placed in have had room for more siblings and no one has moved siblings in together. Now, they are trying to leave F3 where she’s at because “she has more bond with her FM then her siblings.” DUH!!!! I may have just had a victory last night but we shall see.
My advice - make A LOT of noise . . . . A LOT ( you seriously can not make enough noise) tell each CW, call their supervisors, call their lawyers, call everyday and nicely repeat who you are and what you’re after. Don’t forget they talk to each other. In my case it seems my new Adoption agent has more time to be dealing with me than my continued care worker, so contacting the adoption agent and having her deal with the other worker works well.
As for you being out of state, that is going to get very complicated, but the harder you push, the more movement you’ll get.

[AlekseiGirl]

Auntie,

Thanks a bunch...I am VERY NOISY that's how I've gotten this far with my foster son, and how I managed to hang on to my dear AD. Fortunately, my FS has an excellent cw who I communicate with a few times a week, and she is doing some research for me. I'll keep ya posted.

[Happy123]

Our little guys was a whole 13 days old when we were able to get him placed w/ us. I do keep in contact w/ the BPs, but did not the first time around. I am hoping that if they give birth again, which will be TPR, that they would not fight the placement. I am sure that our worker was finally happy to place him w/ us--it stopped the daily p/cs Lol.
Happy123

[Singlemom619]

I had a similar question a couple years ago. I adopted my son and his Bmom told everyone she was preg. I knew she was still living the same life and she'd lose the baby - so I called a CW and asked them what would happen.

They said that IF the child was taken from mom that "someone" would need to notify the SW immediately that I was interested in the baby. They said they WOULD try to keep the siblings together.

Basically the problem would have been (for me anyway) that I'd have no idea who the SW was for the baby unless Bmom or Bfamily told me - and they didn't always know.

But they did say they do try.... The other thing to watch out for is if the baby is placed in another foster home and is there for a long time - while they try to reunify or whatever - the foster parents could try to say that the baby is attached and should just stay there instead of going to you...

[tsangia]

I'm in Nj. We adopted 3 and are working on #4 of a sibling group. Our #4FD we got at 5 days old. Her birthmom signed off on our FD#3 just a few months earlier. However, decided to fight for #4. (because she said this is her last chance to have a baby) She's clean now, and has a job. But too little too late. She's going to be 2 soon and our nightmare continues. The judge even gave her 24 hour visits. The baby screams and cries and thrust herself out of the car seat.
I've offered the birthmom a open adoption, and she keeps saying she needs more time. BTW our process started 11 years ago. With daughter #1.

I think it may be a record. 4 DD in 11 years. Actually 5, but, she delivered and they placed the baby with another foster family. Another FC system mistake.

kicking and screaming!!!

[AuntieCA]

Along those same lines. My sister has fallen off the scene -stopped coming to court cases - stopped coming to visitations - normally when she behaves this way, she's pregnant. How can I check, I know her address, but would never want to go there personally. Any suggestions?

She's told me more than once, "I'll just keep having 'em until they let me keep one."