[mylilangels]

Good evening. My 12yr old has asked about my husband(his stepdad) adopting him or at least changing his last name to have his. the bio has only gotten involved in the last yr. in the last 4yrs he use to only see my kids about 3x's aa year, and that went for phone calls too. will a court allow this? his bio doesn't want to do it..he doesn't want to pay cild support, he told us that would help alot if he didn't have to pay it but didn't want my kids taking hubby's last name either..what do i do? we live in ga

[GaViolet]

From what I have been told is that the birth father must sign away his rights. It may be different since he is not willing to pay child support. Good luck!

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by mylilangels

Good evening. My 12yr old has asked about my husband(his stepdad) adopting him or at least changing his last name to have his. the bio has only gotten involved in the last yr. in the last 4yrs he use to only see my kids about 3x's aa year, and that went for phone calls too. will a court allow this? his bio doesn't want to do it..he doesn't want to pay cild support, he told us that would help alot if he didn't have to pay it but didn't want my kids taking hubby's last name either..what do i do? we live in ga

What a guy! All the perks and none of the responsibility. I wonder if you could tell him that if your husband can't adopt, you are taking him to court for all the BACK child support he owes? If he wants to be a dad so bad, I guess he has to step up. Or at 12, is there any way for your SON to petition the court to terminate his bio dad's rights? Here I think that can be done.

[Boulderbabe]

Your ex can't have it both ways. If he's your son's legal father, he is responsible for financially supporting him. If he agrees to relinquish his status as legal father, he has no say over your son's name.

[jackiesbooks]

Get a lawyer, he will need to pay. If he is not willing to pay, see about terminating his rights.

[skyrain30]

I am going through the same thing here with my daughter. Her biological dad has had nothing to do with her in the last seven years and is in prison. My husband has acted as her father all her life. We finally got bio dad to sign papers terminating his rights so that my husband can legally adopt her. You have to get bio dads permission to change name also but he doesn't have to terminate rights if it is just name change. The fact that he owes child support doesn't make much difference, it is a different case altogether. I would reccomend trying to get bio dad to realize that it would help your boy to fit in better with the famiy if he could share last name. Good Luck!

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by jackiesbooks

Get a lawyer, he will need to pay. If he is not willing to pay, see about terminating his rights.

The courts won't terminate parental rights just for failure to pay child support. Abandonment is another issue---but in this case, it sounds like bdad is in contact, so he hasn't abandoned his son.

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by jackiesbooks

Get a lawyer, he will need to pay. If he is not willing to pay, see about terminating his rights.

The courts won't terminate parental rights just for failure to pay child support. Abandonment is another issue---but in this case, it sounds like bdad is in contact, so he hasn't abandoned his son.

[mythreekids]

We are currently in the process of adopting three children - ages 10, 11 and 13. The kids have told us that it means alot to them to be able to change their last name to match ours. I suspect that your son feels the same way. These are valid feelings, and show how attached your son is to your family (including his step dad). Help your son fight for what he wants. This name change may seem like a little thing, but it can have a substantial impact on the child's emotional well-being.
And I agree with the others about the financial support. Get at least some financial support - even if all you do is put it directly into a college savings account for your son. Dad needs to step up and support his son (and you).
Good luck!