[vesw01]

CW says the girls are going home by school starting August 21st. They have been in care since Dec 26, 2005. Mom finished drug and alchohol treatment but does not go to AA or any other support group - stays home all day, no job etc. Had a baby a month ago (she didn't go before that either). Dad will be going to jail on 7/22/07 - he plea bargained down some charges for 120 days. He has another 4 felony charges (DUI aggravated, driving without a license aggravated, etc) in another county on 8/23/07 - he hasn' tdone anything. They are married and live together - he did start taking meds for being bi-polar. They got to keep the baby.
Neither has started parenting classes or couples counseling. Neither has a car, job or license or any other means of support (I know the state will give the money).

Mom and I had a good relationship up until 3 weeks ago she stopped calling the girls altogether -she used to call to see how their day was, say good night - we used to get together. She wanted us to get together more so they could see their brother more than for 2 hours a week. They still have not had 1 unsupervised visit EVER.

FD had a dr appt 2 hours away yesterday for hearing test and ear check after tubal surgery 2 weeks ago. Mom didn't go because baby was up all night - isn't that what happens when you have another baby - but don't mothers still have to take their kids to the dr?

Am I being to harsh? I just can't imagine these girls going home in 63 days.

BTW the agency does not have the courts approval to return the girls home, new CW just quit (tomorrow is her last day), they said in March they would bring the case back to court mid-June for permission they didn't, said they were going to start unsupervised, they didn't, said 3 weeks ago they were going to start unsupervised they didn't.....and this was all before dad plead guilty.

[vegaschristina]

ugh! Hopefully someone will wake up & smell the insanity before they send these kids back home. I'm all for RU when the parents are getting back on track, but it doesn't sound like these parents are doing what's necessary.

On another note, they won't expect the mom to have a job until the baby's at least 6 weeks old and after her check up. At least that's what happened here with my fs's bmom.

[skirbo]

At the regularly scheduled judicial review, they will have to announce the parents' non compliance and reunification then does not seem likely at this time.

Sarah

[wife2grumpy]

yikes, I sure wish I had answrs for you. Did they assign you another case worker? I would be getting in touch with her, or the supervisor. I wouldn't imagine the children being returned with no means of support, and not doing parenting class if it was ordered. I don't think you would do any harm by calling and asking questions. If there is a court date coming up, you should receive notice in the mail.
good luck hon

[kxl164]

From my experience having a new baby does one of two things for birthparents. Either they realize how important it is to get their kids back because the new baby reminds them of the ones in care being that little. OR, they stop bothering to try.

Yours sounds like the second one.

I would call the agency and get some clear answers. This isn't right. Talk to a supervisor, or talk to the GAL, or even go to your county clerk's office, ask them what the procedure is for filing a motion to get another court hearing for the purpose of clarifying the goals (may not work but it should get their attention).

I know you want to stay low, but this is just not right for the kids.

On the other hand, just because the agency is saying now that they plan to send them back it may not happen.

When is the next review hearing? Its been over 18 months in care now.... something is not right. I would talk to the CW and supervisor, if that doesn't work then go up the chain of command further and talk to the GAL. Talk to CASA too, if you have one.

Good Luck!

[ECDGA]

I don't see how they could possibly send the girls home. I thought stable housing, stable job and working your case plan were mandatory.

[Becki_in_IN]

Originally Posted by ECDGA

I don't see how they could possibly send the girls home. I thought stable housing, stable job and working your case plan were mandatory.

Well, it's suppose to be, but I've had judges order kids to go home when not much of anything had been done.

[madfostermomma]

Are you in touch ith the law guardian? Ours is a god sent ( this time ) and we get tons of info through her. I also provide info to her as it seems sometimes the agency " forgets"

[az sun]

We had our fd for over six months. Part of the case plan was financial support, a job, stable housing among other things.
When fd was returned the mom was at a relatives and had no job and temporary assistance. Case was monitored for another five months by this time she was with another relative. On the day the case was closed the relative evicted her, she still had no job, no transportation and only got $275 cash a month for two kids under two along with WIC and food stamps. She went to another relative who also evicted her three weeks later.
Last week at 10pm she jumped on a truck (semi trailer with a distant relative) and left the state with the two kids... come to find out she has been trying to get meth again.

I pray for these two kids.
Sometimes I just dont understand why they bother to have a case plan if it really does not need to be followed.
So yes, unfortunately it does happen.
Oh by the way, while we had fd the mom had another baby we had her for one month then she was returned and her older sis a few months later.

we are heartbroken and disallusioned. Left a message for the old caseworker to let her know (we have not contacted her for over six months since they were returned), she never returned the call.

[vesw01]

We met the person who might be the new CW today - I think she is 21-just out of college - sweet girl - hasn't been to training yet - won't be for a couple of weeks and that is 3 weeks long. She set up a tenative meeting with me for next Thurs night to sit and talk. She said that K needs to go to her AT therapy if that is what was decided and they have to find a way to make it happen - I love the new ones, they are all bright eyed and bushy tailed (I was once there too). Anyway, she thought that was little chance of the girls going home before school started (now remember she has little info on this) she was going to check with the supervisor on the whole thing and get back to me so we could make some better decisions when it came to the trip (btw 79 days away - I really need a vacation ). I really expressed my concern over K's anxiety and that she will feel abandoned when her dad goes to jail and I can't adbandon her a month later too. We really need to get a plan together so we can go into this eyes wide open.

I can't go on vacation and think that she may have an asthma attack and wind up in the hospital because she is so anxious. Then again if the price goes up too much we can't afford to take them.

Any thoughts on what to do?

[Hadley2]

I don't know about the vaca, unless it is on SW, then if they don't go you can leave the $ in an account to be used within a year later. If you know you'll need to go anywhere else during the year (like to visit an elderly parent, that's always my thing), then it really can work even though you never get your cash back.

New cws are cute but not so helpful in my experience if what they know is right doesn't fit with the agency's SOP. She will look to and follow her supervisor for guidance. You probably need to talk to her/him first and make your case there.

As for the rest, whew! I'm glad to hear the ear tube thing happened, number one!! As for the dad, I am amazed to hear that he is still in the picture and RU is still on the table with him in the picture. Did you report all the threats, etc. that he made awhile back?

As much as you like this mother, you know these kids shouldn't go back. She's clearly chosen him over them, no question. She's not following through. Her friendship for you is probably as genuine as it gets with her, and she probably cares as much as she able to about it, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been manipulative also. In my own experience, I've learned to appreciate what our fd's bio parents bring and have compassion for their limitations in this area but recognized that they are limited.

It's been past the 15-month deadline for TPR, where is the kids' GAL? If they don't have one, can you get in front of the judge at the next review hearing, explain that the deadline has gone past, that cw coverage hasn't been consistent, there has been overwhelming noncompliance and threats and that the kids therefore need the consistent and attentive protection of their own lawyer?

Our fd's former foster mother was able to get her other fs a GAL in this way.

I hope this works out as well as possible for the children. I know you have a big heart and will do what's best for them.

[lambeausam]

Just a couple of thoughts...why does the agency have to wait to changes the visits? Usually, the court orders visitation at the agency's discretion. So unless there are other standing orders regarding visitation, the caseworker should be able to create and enact a visitation plan. One suggestion along these lines would be for them to set up an extended visit with their Mom while you are on vacation. They would need to line up an emergency or respite home in the event that something warrants termination of the visit.

As for reunification, do you know what grounds adjudication and disposition were ordered? If the mom has corrected the issues that required removal and were grounds for adjudication, then reunification may be ordered. If the mom's attorney is smart, she will make a motion for restoration of custody based on the correction of the issues.

Finally, if the service plan does not include items requiring the parent to provide adequate housing or independent means of support, then the case plan and the parents cannot be rated for compliance on those items.

Hope you get some answers soon!

Sam

[vesw01]

The agency is the one saying they are going to do unsupervised visits for the last 3 months and have yet to do 1 - they told me again a month ago they were going to start, yet again not 1 has been done. Dad still lives at home - until he goes to jail, but will return when he gets out.

Yes I reported the threats, CW at the time was not happy. That seems to have fallen by the wayside.

Biomom has not contacted me or the children (other than at weekly visit) in 3.5 weeks and she was welcome to call them anytime and had. She used to call them to say good night, find out how their day went etc. I have not called her, don't wish to. At this point, I think she is a nice person, but is not going to get her act together enought to take full time care of them and I want to be able to go into court and not feel loyal to her and just feel loyal to the girls. The Administrative Case Review is next Wed. and the next court hearing is Sept. 23rd - the judge set it so we would be back from the cruise so we wouldn't miss it.

At the ACR I am sure they will list Mom as compliant, not sure about dad. I am going to file an appeal on the girls behalf for the case plan stating that it isn't being followed - the ACR really doesn't do anything - my FD hasn't been to either counseling in WEEKS and her dad is going to jail soon - umm HELLO we need to do something.

I left a msg for the supervisor and told her I expect a copy of the ACR paperwork faxed to me at work on Tues for me to review - I like to make notes ahead of time and that I don't want someone sent on Wed who is going to to do the "I don't know I am new" BS - this is a critical time we need to as another FP said "poop or get off the pot"

If we make it to court without the girls going home, I am going to flat out tell the judge that the last time he was in jail she said she wasn't taking him back she did and it is time to legal screen the case to see if they can TPR

I had suggested a month or so ago that the bios attorney (they have a private one) bring it back into court to try to get things going - the attorny won't so there is more than meets the eye going on.

The parents do have a decent place to live - her parents are millionaire rich (Literally) and buy and sell properties when they need the land for a development so they move into the home until they are ready to tear it down to build the new community. They are getting ready to move in the next month to the new home (which is a real shame, they were in the same school district as us and now they won't be)

Anyway, I just wish we could move foward with stuff. Honestly as long as the girls are foster children it works "better" for us financially. We can't afford to pay for daycare for 3 kids, so the state pays for 2 right now. If they order a legal screen in Sept then we won't be back to court until March then IF they go for TPR we will get stuck - at this point family will step in and we will start to fight. The parents said that they would have family members adopt them - after we had them for 2 years, I think not - people they never met...anyway - it would drag out another year and then two of the girls would be in school full-time. My luck they parents would sign off and I would have to figure out how to come up with $900 a month all of a sudden.

[donna v]

vesw01,
Tell your story on kidscount2007@aol.com. I have faced some of the same problems and I am now getting help from the state reps office here in arkansas. Please contact your gov. They are directly over DHS in most cases. I got a call back the same afternoon they heard my story. I am collecting these stories hoping to one day change the system. One voice can make a difference. I'll be thinking of you.
DV

[vesw01]

So here we are on July 18th and still no court date for the agency to get discretion to return the girls home. The dad goes to jail on Sunday and they told the girls that dad is going to help someone move for the next month. He won't be out until after school starts.

Our caseworker is out of the office for 2 1/2 more weeks and no one has a clue. There is no way they are going back in the next 4 weeks (school starts on Aug. 21). The next court date is not until Sept 23rd unless they all of a sudden schedule another one (mom and dads attorney does not expect to go back before then).

The bios cancelled their 3rd unsupervised visits b.c. it was too hot.

It is 52 days until we go on the cruise and I have no idea if I am taking them or not. No one will give us a straight answer. No one will talk to us....we need to come up with $800 if we are. Our one daugther can not function in respite care and she knows all about the cruise, how would I tell her she can't go? She has been planning on going since the beginning, knows her parents and the cw and the judge said ok - the only reason she thinks she isn't going is b/c she was supposed to go home...

any thoughts?