[TNfostermom]

I saw my six year old fd masterbating while she was sound asleep tonight. I always check on them after my bath (because sometimes she ends up on getting down on the floor to sleep). The cw has told me there are some red flags that might indicate possible sexual abuse. I haven't noticed anything other than that both the older girls (ages 8 and 6) wet the bed. The 8 year old sleeps in depends and pees so much that the sheets still get wet. We finally have a doctor's appt for her tomorrow. The 6 year old also has temper trantrums. One lasted for over 2 hours.

I was just wondering if anyone knew if masterbating in their sleep was a possible sign of sexual abuse? I will notify their cw of it tomorrow.

[etaag]

First off I am no expert. But I have read and been told that children will soil the bed and themselves to make themselves less appealing to preditors. Also, if the abuse occurred in the bed, they may want to sleep on the floor. The bed may remind them of the abuse and they may be too scared to sleep in it.

[gabbles1]

I have a friend whose child was masterbating at that age and under and the doctor said it was normal. I don't really know more about it than that though.

[BlueBerry615]

Originally Posted by gabbles1

I have a friend whose child was masterbating at that age and under and the doctor said it was normal. I don't really know more about it than that though.

This is true and it is normal according to my ped too. My Bio daughter went through this phase for a little while. It freaked me out. Her Dr told me not to worry about it unless it became inappropriate. (in public etc)

[etaag]

I agree that any one of the behaviors alone can be "normal". But I would also have to consider all 3 together could be a sign of something else. I am not saying it is, but it does need to be considered knowing that these are not "normal" children coming from "normal" families.

[Boulderbabe]

In my experience, masturbating at that age is pretty normal. (I used to work in a daycare....you should have been in the kindergarten room at naptime!). Tantrums are also pretty normal. Wetting the bed isn't.

I wouldn't leap to the conclusion of sexual abuse, but it's worth talking to the ped. about it.

Good luck!

[Mommy911]

I can tell you from experience with my fd that this and the bed wetting are sure signs of abuse. Please don't let this go. I know that a lot of people on this forum is telling you that it is normal but not with the bed wetting too. My fd never did anything like that or wet the bed she was fully potty trained at 20 months. Then visitation began with her bio-mom and boyfriend. She starting wetting every night, and showing unnatural things a 3yr old should know nothing about. I had social services evaluate her and they did alone. Some one talked with her in a private room and they determined after her interview and my testimony of what she had been doing, that she had infact been abused.

[etaag]

• Bed Wetting
• Masturbating
• Prefering to sleep on the floor
• Tantrums

None of these behaviors alone are that odd. Together, they are a red flag. I would check into it more.

[jodybird511]

Originally Posted by Mommy911

I can tell you from experience with my fd that this and the bed wetting are sure signs of abuse. Please don't let this go. I know that a lot of people on this forum is telling you that it is normal but not with the bed wetting too. My fd never did anything like that or wet the bed she was fully potty trained at 20 months. Then visitation began with her bio-mom and boyfriend. She starting wetting every night, and showing unnatural things a 3yr old should know nothing about. I had social services evaluate her and they did alone. Some one talked with her in a private room and they determined after her interview and my testimony of what she had been doing, that she had infact been abused.

There is nothing that is a "sure sign of abuse." Although I certainly wouldn't tell you to bury your head in the sand about it, there are PLENTY of 6 year olds that still wet the bed--even many 8 year olds. The masturbation, also very normal in kids this age. Like an earlier poster said, however, given the situation, it's certainly something that you need to keep and eye on and maybe even check into. Nevertheless, it doesn't mean for certain that the kids have been sexually abused.

[mommacass]

So many of you say that it is normal for children this age to be masterbating. I just find this hard to believe. I have two boys 9 and 5 and I have never seen them do anything that even resembles masterbating. I might be able to understand why an abused child might do it, but if they were not abused I just... It blows my mind... I can't even put it into words that make sense.

MommaCass

[balletmum]

Mommacass, don't panic!! LOL. It is usually just a pleasant feeling for young kids and not really a sexual thing. I have found that most "in care" kids do it and seem to feel comforted. As long as it remains in private and is not done excessively where's the harm?

[TNfostermom]

I took the oldest to the dr for her appt today. The dr didn't see any signs of sexual abuse. He is going to check her blood level to see if she is diabetic and he is going to check her cholestrol level. I will continue to keep a close eye on them.

He did tell me that as long as they weren't showing unusual knowledge of sexual subjects that he wouldn't worry.

[AmahMama]

You can check out a previous post of mine "At Wits End" and see what happens if you don't report anything you feel is sexually motivated!! And what happens when you do. At six - I honestly believe it would be more self-exploration but couple it with other behaviors. . . And there isn't always any physical sign. A specially trained therapist will be able to have a discussion and tell you if a child has been "used, abused, or witnessed" inappropriate behaviors.

One of the first things they do is discourage any time alone with a younger child that may be victimized (even siblings) by the child. Not that the child is consiously victimizing (they may think this is how to show love or caring) - but constant supervision and MUCH documentation is needed. Even down to what nights the child sleeps on the floor, wets, is found doing anythng inappropriate.

To CYA - always document everything - even when you contact cw's and the jist of the conversation - it really saved my butt!!!!

Good luck with the children and hopefully - it was something they saw in the movies and not up close and personal.

[Mommy911]

I never said it was a sure sign I was just telling her my own experiences and she could take from that what she wants. You obviously don't have any previous experience with this kind of a situation. I wasn't telling her to call the police I was just telling her to have her girls check out. GOSH!

[jodybird511]

Actually, if you reread your post, which by the way, I quoted, you'll see that you did use those exact words. And fyi, I'm a licensed child psychologist as well as a foster parent, so believe me, I have plenty of experience.