[Yash]

I've just emailed my daughter's lawyer to see if I meet the requirements to become her de facto parent. If I do meet the requirements and the judge grants my request, how will this effect my status as her foster/adopt parent? We live in CA.

[Hadley2]

I don't really know CA law or anything about de facto parent status, but I wondered why you would e-mail the child's GAL about this instead of consulting with your own lawyer? This is a question of your interest, not your fd's... I don't see how the GAL would be bound to respond or respond completely and accurately.

Guessing now--If de facto parent is what it sounds like, I doubt fparents are eligible, although CA may have some allowance to give you standing in the case after a certain amount of time. If every fparent could file as a de facto parent after a certain amount of time, wouldn't that defeat the purpose of foster care? I would think the idea of de facto parent is more for the nonfoster case where a parent has nearly abandoned a child in another's care for an extended period of time.

[la vida loca]

I'm in California too. By chance my social worker mentioned recently that she had been in court to help a foster parent gain defacto status. It is my understanding that it gives you standing in court which allows the court to hear you in any proceedings.

[sdmama]

We live in San Diego and received de facto status for our two foster children who we are in the process of adopting. We had been told that the children needed to be placed in the home for six months before the court would likely grant the petition, although we have a friend who received the status earlier in her placement.

For us, they ended up delaying the petition until after the TPR because the birth parents contested it and asked for a trial to decide the issue. Basically to be granted de facto parent status, you need to establish that you are acting as the child's parent, which is not a difficult standard to meet.

The de facto status allows you to have your say in court if the judge decides that would be relevant. Since we didn't get the petition granted until after the TPR, that was sort of moot, although now we get copies of all the court proceedings including the appeal. This has been very important as there is a lot of information about the parent's progress through the process which is helpful to know.

As far as how it affects the foster/adopt status, it doesn't really. I do think it shows the court that you are serious in your desire to adopt your child. We attended almost all the hearings anyway, which we were entitled to do as the current caregiver anyway.

I think getting the de facto status earlier in the process would have been helpful. I'm not sure if you've attended any of the court dates, but it is annoying to sit there and listen to them talk about you, your fitness as a parent and the uncertainty of your desire to adopt and not be able to speak up. Of course, the fact that you are there in the courtroom should speak volumes to the judge.

[Hadley2]

Ok...learn something new every day. "De facto parent" sounds a lot stronger than it apparently is. Glad the other californians chimed in for you.

[Yash]

Thank you to everyone who has responded so far. In 10 days, we'll be at the 5 month mark for placement so we'll see if the judge goes for it or if we'll have to wait until the next court date. I haven't been to any of the court dates because I always find out about them until after the fact. I'm thinking the CW isn't that thrilled with the placement, thank goodness my daughter's lawyer doesn't feel the same or my SW.

Sdmama - thank you.