[TeriS]

Yesterday evening we found out that the birthmom to our foster sons is pregnant again.

The boys seem to be excited, but I'm not sure how this will play out in the months to come. They are 6 and 11 and just two of the six kids she already has in three different foster homes. Current plan is reunification and she's been working her plan somewhat for the last 3 months but they've been in care for a year now.

I can't ever remember a time when I haven't been happy for someone who's expecting before.

*sigh*

I just feel like it's not fair.

Teri

[mrsred]

(((((Teri))))) I understand exactly what you are saying.

[vegaschristina]

I struggled with infertility for years, and it's so very unfair when women who are not good parents so easily become pregnant and women who would be the best of moms cannot.

Hugs to you.

[swanzie]

I remember a quote from one of those lifetime movies I was watching - it might not be exact - but it goes like this.

Giving birth to a child is biology...adopting a child - that is an act of God.

Struggling with my own infertility issues - this really struck home and I am not one who usually quotes movies!

[Boulderbabe]

It is terribly unfair. But as unfair as it is to you (and I *totally* get that feeling), think about how bitterly unfair it is to the child she's carrying. He or she will be facing such a complicated life, even before he or she is born....

[TeriS]

Yeah, I wasn't necessarily talking about unfair to me. I meant that the whole thing is unfair. Unfair to the baby, unfair to the kids she already has, unfair to her incarcerated husband, unfair to the new boyfriend, etc. etc. etc.

This will mean seven kids with four dads. Ridiculous, really.

[hopingtoadoptnWV]

That is a really sad situation. But yes saddest for the baby. Are you saying that this woman has a husband AND a boyfriend?? I wonder if CPS will take the baby when it is born?

[Barksum]

I think that feeling of 'unfairness' is the hardest part of adoption for me. The bio moms of two of ours are pregnant/just had a baby. Neither of them have custody of any of their children so far. I get frustrated and saddened by all the pain involved and how it goes on and on.

[TeriS]

Originally Posted by hopingtoadoptnWV

That is a really sad situation. But yes saddest for the baby. Are you saying that this woman has a husband AND a boyfriend?? I wonder if CPS will take the baby when it is born?

Who knows? One sad thing is that she had actually been doing a little bit better on her plan. We've moved on to unsupervised visits recently and RU is on the horizon...albeit quite a ways off.

I'm not sure the boyfriend knows what he's getting into. But then what kind of guy considers a relationship with a married woman with kids in foster care a good idea?

I'm hopeful that she's able to turn things around. Just not very optimistic.