[vesw01]

I am not trying to cause a big debate or have anyone be upset with my decision, because I still stand by what I had oringally decided.

It has been several weeks since I told the agency that they had to take the girls for their surgery. Oddly enough I never heard back from them. I spoke to the CW last Friday and she said she didn't think that getting tubes was that important and she has other things to do - even too busy to schedule the surgery. I asked about their hearing loss and she said she didn't think it was that significant (when did she become a Dr? You would think that since two different Dr's have said that the girls need tubes 0 hmm maybe the do...

I called the advocacy and complained that the surgery hasn't even been scheduled yet.

I spoke to our family counselor, provided by the agency, yesterday and she once again confirmed that I am doing the right thing for our family. She agrees that my vacation time should be spent with all my children and my husband and not just at the hospital.

I am considering filing a complaint with DCFS indicating them for medical neglect. Neither myself nor the bioparents would be able to get away with this.

I took them to the Dr last night and they both have double ear infections AGAIN!

[MomwithFive]

You would think that since two different Dr's have said that the girls need tubes 0 hmm maybe the do...>>

I can understand you wanting to file a complaint but for the girls best interest I would make sure they get the tubes. JMO

[vegaschristina]

I agree with you. I would lodge a complaint and make sure that the surgery was taken care of. The girls' future hearing depends on it. Sorry to hear they've got infections again.

[Boulderbabe]

I think the important thing is that the girls get tubes in soon. Filing a complaint seems to me to be the longest, hardest, and most stress-producing way to get that done. Hate to say it, but if it were me, I'd take the vacation day and just go and have it done. The procedure doesn't take very long and the kids are up and around very quickly.

[vesw01]

If I could...but DCFS still needs to approve and that is up to the CW. It isn't just taking one or two days off for the surgery - the hospital and clinic are 2 hours away and I would have to take a total of 6 days off from work (at least).

I only have 10 days to use and since my one fd has asthma and has been hospitalized twice in the year, I think that is more important for me to have the time for that - since no one else can go to the hospital with her except me. The CW won't take her in an emergency.

We also have a family cruise planned for Sept where I will need 8 days of vacation - this is for all the kids, my parents, my sister - dh and my brother and his gf. It has been planned for months and we are all looking to the vacation.

I am going to contact the supervisor tomorrow to get the ball rolling.

[Boulderbabe]

Good luck! I hope you get the whole mess untangled soon and the girls get their tubes in.

I was *amazed* at what a difference those tubes made to my son. He got his when he was about 18 months old. (He was still in foster care, and his birthdad had to be there with us for the whole thing. That was a special kind of nightmare--someday I'll tell you the whole story...)

Anyway, the most amazing thing happened when we were walking out of the hospital. A motorcyle passed by, and my baby's face just lit up with wonder and awe. It was really clear to me that even though he'd been passing hearing tests, he'd never heard CLEARLY before. That motorcyle was like a miracle. And even though he'd never said a single clear word before, that night he said his first one. At dinner, I was so exhausted and I raised my glass to my mom and said in a tired voice, "cheers." And my baby echoed, "cheese" (cheers)! It was so incredible to watch how he blossomed after the tubes were in.

I hope your girls' procedure goes really quickly and that they are soon free of those nasty ear infections!

[Boulderbabe]

P.S. Why six days off work? The usual procedure for tubes is really quick--- a few minutes for the work, then another hour or two while the anaesthetic wears off. Even with the drive each way, it shouldn't take six days...

[vesw01]

There is the post op appt that would take a day 2 hours drive there, two hours there and two hours home.

Then the surgery - same scenario

The the post-op appt the same thing has to happen.

I work 45 min from home, so I can't just leave work and pick them up - I would have to go back home - 45 min that way and then head back the way I just came from.

There is not way it wouldn't take at least a day for each appt.

[Boulderbabe]

You could see if your local ped. can do the post-op visit---that's what we did, to save time.

You might also try contacting a local ENT and see if she or he will do the procedure with a Medicaid reimbursement. A lot of docs will do it as a charitable gesture.

[AmyAnne]

Vesw- I hope this situation resolves itself for you. I know with medical issues with your bios and your f kids, that the last thing you need is a lack of support from your agency. Here's hoping they step up to the plate and do the right thing to assist you. Sending positive thoughts your way!!

[vesw01]

Tried all the ENT's in town for the last year - no one would take the medical card.

The CW thinks she has an in with one in town now (why the heck didn't she do this before now??) and we are trying to get a referral from her pediatrician (new doctor), but she hasn't requested the medical records and it has been over 3 weeks since they decided she needed tubes.

She made an appt with the Ped on Monday (4 weeks after the ENT appt)- still has not ordered the records and has yet to inform me of the appointment time or anything. Has not informed the bio parents about the appt either and they try to go.

She also didn't tell us that the visit was changed for this week (they knew last week)...I found out from the bio parents today

[tinatyme]

Are you documenting all of this? Definitely write it down, send emails and letters (certified if possible) to your social workers supervisors and make sure that there are others in the agency (with more power) that understand that you are doing all you can to address your foster children's needs but are being held back by the SOCIAL WORKER! How crazy is that! My daughter had tubes put in at 19 months and it was so great. She hasn't had an ear infection since and she had them continually beforehand.

Hereditary hearing loss runs in my family and, for me, there is NO excuse for the social workers to risk a child's hearing because of their incompetence. With all that said, you are the child's advocate and I would do all that I can to make sure that their needs are addressed. Even if the social worker does get the surgery scheduled and takes the children, I would make sure it is documented what a problem it was getting assistance and where the breakdown's in communication happened.

I'm wishing you and your foster children a quick resolution!

[jllambert]

All have good points. This is just my opinion. I would not want someone else with my child (foster or Bio) during an operation. I would not dream of putting my family vacation to before the health of any of my children. I knew what I was getting into when i became a foster parent and if that means loosing a few days pay or re-scheduling a vacation because one of my kids needs to go to the doctor then so be it! Don't you have any family that can help out with taking them to the pre/post-op appointments?
I do think the CW is wrong for not taking care of the business she has to do for the operations, and you should see it through.
I just know all of my kids would want me at the hospital with them no matter what the reason might be! Also I would never risk their hearing by waiting around for a CW! I would get it done and fast!!

[TBearsAunt]

I agree with Jllambert. T2 had to have ear tubes last December. Between doctors' visits, the operation itself, and the post-op visit, I missed a total of three full and two partial days. Some of these days were unpaid. A trip to the hospital under any circumstances is stressful for a child. Also I think that is part of what the foster parent per diem is for--the occassional unpaid day off of work.