[misstonicee]

We are still in the process of applying...1 home visit down.Training and home study to go. I was thinking about what the fk should call us. I talked it over with my sisters and thought they would call me the name that my neice and nephews call me, they call me TT because it was the first thing my oldest nephew was able to say when referring to me when he was a child. My sisters didn't seem thrilled. They didn't really say no but they also didn't say it was a good idea. WHy do you think they acted that way? I'm probably reading too much into this which is why I didn't want to bring it up to them.

What are your thoughts and what do your fk's call you?

[professor70]

my fs just calls us Mr**** and Mrs**** but he uses titles for everyone else in the family aunt*** etc.. some family approve others don't but he is only 5 and has to call them something.

[Hadley2]

They'll most likely call you what they need to or want to call you. Most kids seem to call their fps mom and dad. Our niece called us mom and dad within a day of arrival. We were her second fh, she called the first ones mom and dad, too. She'd always called her parents by their first names; they decided to change that when they realized she was calling others mom and dad.

Especially in public situations, it easier and a survival tool for kids to call you mom and dad--they dont want to be different from the other kids.

Do you have other children? If you have other children, they will most likely call you mom and dad. If you have a short name, maybe Mama Shortie or Poppa Shortie. They might use your first names by themselves as most kids nowadays are used to calling many adults by first name.

Your sisters probably don't like ti because you suggested what is to them a special family nickname that "belongs" to their kids. Also, it doesn't make a lot of sense to use the aunt and uncle nickname, since you are not going to be aunt and uncle to the foster children.

[Scootersbabygirl]

Our 16 year old nephew called us by our given names, but FS (2 1/2) has been calling us Mom and Dad since the second he got here...mainly because he thinks that all adult females are named Mom, and all adult males are named Dad. I'm not discouraging it because I feel like I'm scolding him or putting him in the corner for everything else! His biomom thinks he calls me Randi...oh well...there's a very good chance he'll become a permanent part of our family, until biomom performs a miracle.

[Joy2566]

Our teenage fc have allways called us by our first names, except one who called me Mrs.***. I broke him of that by refusing to answer him when he called me that. He was using that as a means of keeping me at arms length, so calling me by my first name was important. Our new kids are 9 and 11 and they call us mom and dad as they have every placement. They call their bioparents by their first names. They rarely mention the bios, haven't seen the mother in over two years and only sees the father at the 6th month review hearings. It feels strange to me to have them call me mom, as I don't think they view me as a mom at this point.

[redfred]

All of my little ones call me Mommy Amy. That way they are still using the title all my other children use and yet it is different from the one that they use with their bios.

[TeriS]

Our current placements (11yo and 6yo brothers) call us by our first names.

We had previous placement of 4yo and 6yo girls and they each called us Mommy & Daddy within 24 hours of being here. But both of them had been in the system for a while and called all their placements Mommy & Daddy. One of the girls differentiated and would refer to a previous foster mom as Mommy Diane and me as Mommy Teri. But that was only when she was attempting to show which person she was talking about.

The boys that are with us now will say"you're a good mom (or dad)" but they don't call us Mom or Dad. They see their Mom every week and there's a reunification plan in place right now so it's clear to them who is Mom & Dad.

Teri

[hubbyswife]

When we had a 10 yr old girl she called us by our first names, she was only w us for a lil over a mth. Our x-FS, he called us at the beginning by our first names b/c that's the way the SW introduced us. After that he referred to us as his parents so I thought i would let him know, if he wanted, he could keep calling us by our 1st names or call us mom/dad. It was ok w us. He choose mom/dad.

[stevenstwin]

Mine calls us by our first name, and I know he has called all previous foster parents by their first name as well, so I assume that is common. As for your sisters - I'm guessing they're a little jealous. You have a special nickname that your nieces and nephews call you, and here you are opening it up so these total strangers that they have never met get to call you that too :-) Personally, I think it is a good idea - I've always said to my bio kids that EVERYONE calls me by my first name, and they are the ONLY TWO in the whole world who get to call me "mom" - so it would be nice for the foster kids to have something a little more "special" if they aren't comfortable calling you mom.

[straightblues]

This is sorta like kissing. It just comes natural. Don't worry about it, it will all work out and be very natural in the end.

[fostercareblogger]

It will depend on how the children feel and their ages. Please read a blog article about this. Good luck in your foster parenting.
Thanks,
Lanette

[Nicole Elaine]

We're planning on having our foster kids use our first names as well. But we will also tell them whatever they want to call us is fine.

We don't have any bio kids, so I think it would take me a while to get used to being "Mom".

[Momoflele&bernie]

At first it was by my first name..now its mommy....it only took 2 months for that to happen

[vernellinnj]

I have only had toddlers - all called/call me mom...

[athikers]

Our two year old calls us "mama" and "dada" our ten year old REFERS to us as her parents, her mom, her dad but CALLS us by our first names... she is still in very frequent contact with her biomom.