[Mama Lisa]

My husband and I are so blessed to have two very beautiful girls whom we have had since they were 10 weeks old and 3 weeks old (They are now 17 and 15 months old). They were placed in our home as foster children only 3 days apart. We have already adopted one (Oct 4, 2006) and are only 10 days away from adopting the other one (Jan 19, 2007). We, of course, are very excited but are faced with a good delima to be faced with. Our girls, even though they are not related at all, look enough alike that they could be Paternal twins (they also look just like my husband and I) and they are so close in age (7weeks), that everyone assumes that they are twins.

Our delima is that we don't know how to respond to the question, "Are they twins." We are Christians and believe very strongly in always telling the truth. So we don't feel like we should lie and say "yes, they are." But at the same time we don't want to go through life always explaining that they are adopted. They are our children and even though they will grown up knowing that they are adopted, we don't want to have to always point it out and make adoption the topic of conversation.

Can anyone help me answer this question?

[loving2foster]

I would just tell them no they aren't twins but they are our daughters and we love them. And leave it at that.
Good luck and you are really blessed! mom of 6

[funnymom]

We have a twenty three month old and a twenty eight month old. They came to us one month apart and we are faced with the same problem. I do not want to say that they are twins because that is not being true to who they are. We decided to just say they are brothers, or they are very close in age. I don't want to tell our life story to everyone I meet on the street. Having said that I know nine times out of ten that the follow up question is are they both yours. I just smile and say yes and move on.

[kxl164]

We have "like twins" in our house too. Our youngest daughter and our foster son are very close in age and one looks like me while the other actually resembles my husband and we get that question all of the time.

I say, "No they are just very close in age" or I say "No, but they don't know that".

You could also say, "No, but they are to us." That will probably be both true in fact, and true in sentiment for you and the girls since they have been together for so long and will be together in the future too.

Good Luck!

[Mama Lisa]

Wow, these are all really good answers! Thank You!

One time at church (while both of the girls were still foster children), a visiting couple asked us if they were twins and I said, (pointing to one then the other) "no, she's not his (my husband's) and she's not mine. I then had to back up and explain but it quite funny at the time.

Thanks again, I'll keep these in mind and try them some time.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

I have to say that with my boys I have actually told passersby that they are in fact twins. I guess it is what kind of "feeling" you get from the person asking. If I don't want all the invasive questions, will just say yes and go about my business. I hate the nosey questions that come with explaining to people how they came to be 2 1/2 months apart yet are brothers (by adoption now). I also hate always pointing out that they are "adopted"...as though there is something wrong with that or they need an explaination.

[stevenstwin]

ROTFL!! You don't need any help from us - you've got great answers! :-)

Originally Posted by Mama Lisa

Wow, these are all really good answers! Thank You!

One time at church (while both of the girls were still foster children), a visiting couple asked us if they were twins and I said, (pointing to one then the other) "no, she's not his (my husband's) and she's not mine. I then had to back up and explain but it quite funny at the time.

Thanks again, I'll keep these in mind and try them some time.

[lovemyseven]

Our bd and our fd that we are in the process of adopting are eight months apart (they are both three) and are the same height and look like twins (some of our family members even have trouble telling them apart). We get this question every day. I usually just say they are not twins just very close in age. Most people only ask how old they are and by just saying that they are three, or in the case of your chidren, one, it is generally assumed that one is almost four and the other a new three. The only problem comes when someone asks the difference in their ages and this surprisingly does not happen very often. When it does I just tell them and then let them wonder. I think in this day and age most people just assume that one or both are adopted since adoption is so common anymore.

[Joy2566]

our "twins" are 5 months apart and now 14 and 15. They take great delight in telling people that they are twins. I think the twin thing has really helped forge their sibling bond. I really think that it is no one's business if they actually shared a womb or not. To them and to us they are twins, that is all that matters.

[ALI143]

They are what's sometimes referred to as "artificial twins" because of their ages. I'd say, "Yes" because they are technically a form of twin. Besides when they are older they won't want you standing there explaining to every delighted stranger.

[vegaschristina]

My 2 oldest are 18 months apart and I got asked the twin question today! But, Nik's small for her age and Bubba's big for his, so....it was only a matter of time til the question was asked.

[MBelt8402]

I have twelve year olds that are eight months apart. I refer to them as V-Twins (virtual twins). They love it. Sometimes we explain it, and sometimes we leave people wondering.

[mijojosmom]

We got the twin question a lot when with our first two placements. I never could understand what people were thinking though. In our situation, the oldest boy was quite clearly hispanic (12 months old) and the younger boy was absolutely the opposite with white blond hair, crystal blue eyes and super pale skin (8 months old). When I was particularly irritated I would reply "well....that's a very rude and personal question for a complete stranger to ask me!"
Most of the time though, I took the time to explain that we were foster parents and that our area is really in need of foster parents and that if they have ever thought about being foster or adoptive parents they should call our local office.

[AmahMama]

When we were new foster parents (me over 50 and Papa over 60) we had 2 little baby boys. We got them within days of each other. One was 6 weeks and Hispanic(w/blue eyes), the other was 4 days and totally dark skinned black baby. They were both adorable, happy babys. Always laughing and waving hands. We had a double universal stroller and everyone always wanted to "see the babies". They'd ask if they were twins (with puzzled looks on thier faces). Papa would just laugh and say - "Yup, identical" grin real big and wander on. You know what, one of the women at a store replied "I've heard of things like that happening, I never thought I'd see it!". Now, there is no way that either of those children could possibly have been our bio children - and no way they could be "identical" either. It's been such a joke - we've laughed about it for years now.

But I like the v-twins idea. That's good.

[EmmaLeigh2882]

First placement was for a 4 year old and a 3 year old ( 14 months and a week apart) I got the " are they twins" thing ALL the time ( 4 year old girl was small- but still clearly taller the her brother) All I said was flat out no and walked away.... Frankly I didn't feel the need explain to anyone exactly how far apart they were in age- but sometimes I would just say No- but my sister and I are 4 years 8 months 20 day 3 hours and 15 minutes apart... just to change the subject... laughing as I turned to leave... who counts these things anyway...well I guess I do.