[budderfly]

Got a question,My hubby was charged with terroristic threatening back in 97 before we got together.At the time he was living with his ex-girlfriend and came home to find her in bed with 1 of his friends.(ouch) There was a arguement over the vehicle and he basically told her fine if he couldn't leave in it then he would set it on fire,but didn't do anything to it.She called the cops and he was arrested for terroristic threatening but it was later dismissed in court.
How much could that hurt us?that is a misdeameanor,right?
Tina

[swanzie]

I could be wrong saying this - but I think you are innocent until proven guilty...and this case was dismissed so that would be the same as not guilty. I might tell them that he was charged with a crime in the middle of a girl/friend boyfriend squabble - but it was dismissed. I think if they want more details they will then ask - but I don't think that having it dismissed that it should be an issue at all - but then again I could be wrong.

[fpsupporter]

I think if you tell your agency about it and be willing to explain it if they ask questions it shouldn't be a problem. I am pretty sure it will come up from the fingerprint cards anyway, and i would be more suspicious if you said nothing and it came up. I definately don't think it will prevent you from providing care.

[ml4474]

I agree with FPSupporter. If you are honest with the agency they will work with you. I'm sure they will understand the situation once it has been explained.

[ca-bigsister]

I don't mean to play devil's advocate - I understand that he was angry and hurt, but he did threaten to set a vehicle on fire. Being a foster parent is really stressful . . . Sorry, but this would be a red flag to me if I was CW.

[hubbyswife]

It's not necessarily a red flag... it happened almost 10 yrs ago and especially if it was a ONE time thing. I'm sure he's grown up a lot since. Being a foster parent and finding your gf w another guy are not the same types of stresses. I wouldn't compare the two.

Just be honest about it that's all you can do.

[TeriS]

I disagree that it could be a red flag if brought up properly and honestly. My husband was married once before and his ex had a restraining order on him at one point while they were splitting up. They were both drinkers at the time and it was his only incidence of anything like that.

He's been sober for 9 years now and it was one of the first things we mentioned to our agency when we started classes. We did not want to have to go through the process only to be denied at the end for something like that if it was an automatic denial.

On the contrary, our CW considered it a valuable experience and an example of him overcoming his past. I can only speak for our experience, of course. But I sincerely think that honesty is the best policy.

[ca-bigsister]

Yes, I agree with being honest. That definitely is the best policy.

I agree that people can overcome their past . . . but I also think that if someone had threatened to set a car on fire, even 10 years ago, I would look at that very closely. A red flag to me means that it is something that needs very close monitoring.

I wouldn't want my child with someone who had threatened to see a car on fire. Sorry - just being honest. That's my personal opinion.

[Warwick]

if you are going to foster only it will not be a problem but if you ever decide you want to adopt than you will run into some road blocks. we were foster parents with speeding violations and then we wanted to become adoptive foster home and now we are having to go before the alternative compliance board and was told that we might not be approved to adopt in our state but we would still be allowed to foster. we go before the board in Jan 07, good luck.