[Kristin7]

My infant niece has been really ill with RSV the past week or so. She is finally feeling better so I took her back to daycare this week. She had a visit on Monday with bio mom/sis. I was aware of that one and had no problems with it. But then yesterday I went to pick up baby to take her to a follow up doctors visit and find that the baby is gone from daycare and was on another visit with mom. I had no knowledge of this and we missed the follow up appointment.

I am so aggravated. Here I am busting my butt, running myself crazy trying to get things done for teh girls and all their appointments; taking time off my professional job and missing pay and so forth and then when i get to the daycare the baby is gone. NO one told me there was a visit wtih mom yesterday. Is it too much to ask for the cw to schedule the visits with me??? CW knows that I usually take time on Tuesdays for medical stuff. This is the fourth time this has happened.

I called cw and left her a message stating i was upset and that i can't keep missing work for nothing. I then called supervisor and told her the same thing. She said that I should be consulted.

Then she drops the bomb...telling me that there are new rules and that Sis is to be involved as much as possible. I told her that if sis is wanting to go to all the medical stuff..that the cw would have to either come with us or do all the medical stuff and extra appointments herself, as I was not going to supervise any visits with mom and girls. ACR man said i was not to be involved and so have both the therapists. I will not do it. It puts the girls in the middle and forces them to choose who to listen to and who to look to for structure and such. Plus bio mom is very angry and hostile and aggressive. I won't put myself in that position. If this means they have to remove the girls and find another placement for them, then so be it.

Then...to top it off....girls tell me last night that they are having a visit today with just Dad. WHAT??? No one has told me a thing about that. I ask the girls for more information and they said that cw and mom told them last week that they would be having a visit with dad, alone today. Nothing has been discussed with me. Another thing is the middle child attends an afterschool homework/tutoring program on Wed and Thursdays to help her with her educational deficits. Seems as though she is being taken from that for a visit. The other thing is that girls have just started doing some major work in SA therapy and have been talking about what bio dad has done to them/abuse wise. I don't consider it in the girls' best interest to be going on visits with dad alone when they are so upset about the Sex abuse and are on the virge of having a hotline investigation opened against bio dad and two other offenders that bio mom left the girls with, knowing they were offenders.

Where is the safety and security for the girls? How is this supposed to be in the best interest of the girls?

I have asked the cw and supervisor for a meeting. I don't want to be looked at as difficult...but someone has to advocate for these girls. Will they remove them from me if I disagree with their plan of action?

I need help in terms of how to do what needs to be done for these girls.

Thanks
K.

[stevenstwin]

This is complete and total BS. Unfortunately, I don't see any solutions, as the supervisor doesn't seem particularly willing to help. I think if you are serious about the possibility of the girls being moved, you should give them an ultimatum. Is there anyone "higher up the food chain" that you can complain to?

[TBearsAunt]

You definitely need to have a meeting so that these things can get out in the open. Have TPR papers been filed yet? Please continue to stand up for yourself and your children. They really need you.

[Kristin7]

TPR papers have not been filed yet. Supposedly it is still RU as the goal...though cw has said that bios aren't working their plan...not biodad at all and only a little work from bio mom.

I guess i could go to the ACR man and talk to him...but i dont' want to ruffle any feathers just yet. I guess I will have the meeting with cw and supervisor and see what they say/think.

I don't want the girls to be removed...that would be the worst thing for them in many ways. Especially if TPR is eventually done, like i think it will be.

I just need to know how to handle the meeting with cw/supervisor. And how to handle the next family meeting with sis and big wigs.

Thanks
K.

[Kristin7]

CW finally contacted me just now. Said that the visit with bio dad is scheduled for tomorrow. Child will miss her afterschool tutoring program and bio dad will have access to the girls.

Both therapists have sent in written letters saying they do not recommend the visit with bio dad and both girls have been heard telling cw and therapist that they do not want a visit with bio dad.

Supervisor and cw say that it does not matter what is recommended or that the T say no to it...that bio dad has rights and is allowed to see the girls.

Why am I spinning my wheels doing all this running around and trying to get the girls therapy and help them...when the cw and supervisor ignore the recommendations and allows the visits anyways.?

Its really aggravating and makes me want to stop all the care I am doing...as it is pointless if it isn't being listened to.

K.

[EmmaLeigh2882]

Stick to your guns- perhaps contacting your state's ombudsman might help- it will at least put presure on the CPS worker.

[Kristin7]

Is the ombudsman differnt from that of the State's advocacy office?

how much contact does the private foster agency have with the state CPS workers about the case? Would the state support what the foster agency is doing, or be in disagreement?

I'm so new to this i don't know what to think.

K.

[bp1035]

Do the girls have a lawyer. If they do you should call them right away. Or call the highest person in your agency you can. Are you in a private or public agency?

[swanzie]

I have to say one thing - your agency - well they are lucky that I am not one of their foster parents. I have learned the hard way on how to deal with DSS and I would not sit down until these childrens best interests were being sought after - not the abusers! I don't know how priviate agencies work - but I do know that foster parent resources are very low no matter where you are in the country - its not like there a more fp then fk out there...so fight for the kids - ya they might threaten to remove them - and I guess maybe they will....BUT you would have done your job as a fp to advocate for them. This whole situation doesn't sit right with me and I would be in contact with anyone and everyone to protect them. Have you contacted the childrens attorney to see what can be done? I would start there - and let the attorney know that visits with bf are continuing with all the sa allegations you don't think they should be - and definately not while they are scheduled for school events etc.
I would also call a meeting with DSS and go over the rules of your house. 1st you are to know where the children are at all times. You need to have visits scheduled so you are prepared to deal with emotions/fall-out from such visits. I'd even dictate the day and time that this may happen - like I would like to have visits done on Tuesdays at 4-5 and I will pick the children up from the office. I'd also say that XXX day is for doctors appointments and such - lay down the line as what the childrens schedule is and don't be flexible. In my state the fp are automatically the childs educational advocate - I'd take control since this is interrupting you fk's educational needs. Trust me - I've learned to take the emotional part out and go with the facts- and mean what I say and say what I mean....and I take no offense to ruffling a few feathers...sometimes that is what is needed down there - is to ruffle a few feathers - it appears they have lost sight of what their job is - it is to protect the children not to put them in harms way. I would think that maybe the kids attorney can petition the court to stop visits altogheter with bf because of these sa allegations. How in heavens name can continued contact be healthy for them....and I don't give a hoot about his rights.
Good luck - and let us know how it goes.

[Hadley2]

There is likely little to no communication between public CPS and a private foster agency.

Contact CPS NOW and report child endangerment on the part of the private agency.

Then contact the director--not a supervisor or caseworker--of your public ss agency and report the private agency. Tell the operator that it is an emergency situation involving one of the private agencies forcing children to be alone with a known sexual predator. That will get their attention.

Proceed from the position that the public agency doesn't know about this and of course would side with you and disallow it. That is, go in with the attitude that you are already a team, not adversaries. Tell the director first about the forced visit with Dad and the documentation of SA. (How in the world can there be a RU goal with SA in the picture???) In any case, the private agency canNOT BE ALLOWED to force children to have visits when SA allegations have been made!!!This is a crime. The private agency is hired by the public agency to do this work. The public agency can order them to stop this.

I'd also fill in the other info re pulling children out of school and special education and setting up visits without your knowledge. That is also unacceptable and poses many safety hazards.

Request a public agency cw and a GAL. Make it clear that you intend to inform the judge on the case about these shenanigans and make the same request to him.

In an immediate situation, I'd call the police if a cw showed up and said she was taking the kids on an unsuprevised (maybe even a supervised) visit with a sex offender. This is child abuse and if anything happened, she could be charged criminally and sued civilly.

Kristin, I'm so angry on your behalf I can't believe it. You are doing a great job and they are not only sabotaging it, they seem h-bent on wrecking the kids in the process. Unbelievable. Good luck today!

[hotspice58]

You may have to ruffle some feathers. Why not (and this may seem drastic) contact the media? If the girls don't want a visit, there is a reason, and they shouldn't be forced. And your time should be taken into account when schedules are made. That's why it's hard to get people to foster.

[hotspice58]

You may have to ruffle some feathers. Why not (and this may seem drastic) contact the media? If the girls don't want a visit, there is a reason, and they shouldn't be forced. And your time should be taken into account when schedules are made. That's why it's hard to get people to foster.