[teacherjenks]

I have a young lady living with me who has been with me for 6 months or so now. I have known she and her grandmother for 2 1/2 years and when her grandmother died unexpectedly, I took her in as a foster child when DHS was going to place her in a girl's group home. (Already had a home study started and they expidited it.) This young lady is in 9th grade and a good student with relatively few scars from what life has dealt her. She is in therapy and making good progress in dealing with her issues and doing very well in an academic magnet school in our area. She had been with her grandmother since she was 6 when her mother dropped her off on day and didn't return. DHS has tried to find her at that time to no avail and she was placed with her grandmother in a kinship program so grandma could have financial help raising her. RIght's were never terminated and I don't know why. Her father is dead. She has a great aunt and uncle who she keeps in constant contact with. Recently the great aunt called me to tell me that the girls's mom had been in contact and wanted to know where P was and wanted to see her. Great Aunt gave up no information and told her to call DHS which she did and then the worker called me and told me what was up. We (cw and I) told P with her therapist present what was up and that her mom wanted to see her. We asked what she wanted so that cw could make her recommendations to the judge (mom has petitioned for visits). P. said no she does not want to see her. She has moved on and as far as she is concerned, she is dead. Great Aunt thinks that the only reason mom returned was the she heard grandmom died and thinks there might be some money involved. All money from the estate is in trust for P for college with great Aunt in charge of it. P nor I have no access to it at this time and won't until she either enters college or turns 25. Therpist is making the recommendation that rights be terminated and P not be made to see her. It has been 9 years. DHS said they will only terminate rights if someone is willing to adopt. I have expressed an interest in adoption and the therapist is talking with P about that in therapy to see where she stands. She wants a permanent home but thinks she is "turning on her grandmom's memory" is she gets adopted.
This young lady means the world to me and she is apart of my family. What do you think might happen?

[Chancey]

Well, I thought about this one for a few minutes. It is entirely possible that grandma would have wanted her to be adopted so that she has someplace and someone to call her own. She would not want her to be on her own. The therapist has probably touched on this with her, but if not talk with them about it.

[patti Daniels]

Doens't she have a right to say she does not want to see her bmom or be adopted? Couldn't she stay in your home? I thought children her age could say they did not want to be adopted?

[ca-bigsister]

I would be more than happy to adopt my 15 year old FD. But she doesn't want to be adopted because both of her parents are still alive as is her bio family. So I am her legal guardian.

Ask her if she wants to be adopted. If she is adopted, does that affect the money she will receive at 25? If she doesn't want to be adopted, then maybe you could be her legal guardian.

We are now in the system, but out of it. We don't go to children's court anymore, but FD still has sw we see every 6 months. I still get subsidy and she gets insurance. But because I am also her legal guardian, I have been able to add her to my insurance, too.

Maybe becoming her legal guardian could be a first step that your FD would feel comfortable with, and then you could talk about adoption. Either way, I would do what she wants because she's already a teen.

Bless you for being her family.

[Hadley2]

What, exactly, is their permanency plan? Guardianship without TPR? Long-term foster care?

In any case, it is not true that they can't terminate unless adoption is the plan; that is simply the preference of that agency, it is not the law. In fact, it is in violation of federal law which I believe PA follows.

Your fd should have a GAL who can file for TPR based on abandonment. If she does not have one, you can request that the court appoint one at the next hearing. Before then, you can do some local homework, find out who is "good," contact that person and ask their permission to put their hat into the ring (when in court, you simply say, "judge, Attorney So-and-So has already agreed to take her as a client"; in some jurisdictions, the judge will welcome the news that he does not have to appoint a reluctant attorney).

Depending on your state laws, you may have standing to file a motion to change the foster care service plan to termination with legal guardianship by you or the great Aunt. (You would probably want legal guardianship yourself, but talk with a lawyer.)

I believe (but check with the GAL) Pennsylvania follows federal law, which states (US Code Title 42, Section 675):

... the child will be returned to the parent, placed for adoption and the State will file a petition for termination of parental rights, or referred for legal guardianship, or (in cases where the State agency has documented to the State court a compelling reason for determining that it would not be in the best interests of the child to return home, be referred for termination of parental rights, or be placed for adoption, with a fit and willing relative, or with a legal guardian) placed in another planned permanent living arrangement...

Federal law also requires the agency to file for TPR after the child has been in care for 15 months (from date of adjudication or a certain number of days after being removed). Perhaps someone needs to charge the mother with abandonment, get a finding, etc. Sounds as if your agency is not doing its job as far as crossing t's and dotting i's--they did not expect this lady to show up so did not prepare for it...

So, of course they can terminate and let you adopt or make you or the aunt a legal guardian. It is the best way to safeguard your fd from a woman who clearly has motives other than new-found maternal feelings.

If she is 14 or 15 now, TPR could take another year or two. By then, adoption may seem pointless, but you and your fd will be much better able to judge the symbolic, emotional and legal (as far as being an heir to you and her biograndmother) ramifications better then than now.

Remember, nothing in the foster world is final until it is final. Service plans are written to be changed.

In any case, be clear that you understand the difference between "legal guardianship" and "legal custody." They are two completely different things. Look up the definitions in your state statutes and compare them to the definition of guardianship in federal law. "Legal custody" without parental rights or guardianship is like "custody extra light"--means little, complicates daily life (when was the last time you saw a school form that asked for the signature of a legal custodian?), opens the door to legal actions by the mother against you, etc.

If you are not already licensed, start the process. If you don't, you may be surprised to be treated as "kin" and your fd may be less eligible for certain benefits and services. Also, the classes in most states cover the process and laws pretty well and you will be able to ask many questions of instructors who don't have an agenda tied to your case.

Good luck. It sounds as if your fd is in a very good place. It's wonderful that you have the support of the great Aunt.

[straightblues]

You need to have a frank talk with your foster daughter. She will always be exposed to having her life distrupted by bio mom until bio mom it terminated. After biomom it terminated, she will be exposed to the wims of the system unless she is adopted. I would hate to see the system put her into a group home or something like that. I think if you have a very frank conversation with her regarding all of the potential problems with not being adopted, she will chose to be adopted by you. She is just thinking about hurting grandma not protecting herself for the next 6 years.

Yes there are things like Legal Guardianship and others, but they are all sollutions that leave a child exposed to problems from the bioparents. Good luck.

[jackiesbooks]

I think that Mom will probably not be an issue in the long run. would probably not discuss with her at this time. She is still probably grieving. This is a big decision and I would give her some time to adjust to everything!