[carmi's momma]

Our baby fd is scheduled to be reunified on Friday after being with us her whole life. She has only had 2 weekend visits with birthparents and both times has come home miserable and very confused. We need all the hopes and prayers we can get to hope that this will not go through. Yes the bparents have worked their case plan but I know that they have not changed and the social worker has NO contact with me at all, so I doubt that she will be monitoring the parents to make sure they are staying clean and treating my baby right.
Maybe I can get some advice too because there is no court date scheduled before the ru date and I thought that it is supposed to go in front of a judge first, yet I cannot get the social worker to return my calls so I am left in the dark. There still isn't even a time or place set up to take her to bparents.
This is breaking my heart as she is my daughter and I love her more then anything in this whole world.
Please pray for her to stay with us I would greatly appreciate it.

[bjhv5]

Prayers sent!
I have not had to go through this but my heart goes out to you and your little one.
Sometimes this system doesnt make any sense.Just because parents wotk theor plan does not mean they have cahnegd .I think they need to see if parents stay clean for at least 6 months before they ru a child.
Stay strong!

[mommyto9]

I know exactly how you feel. We have a fs that is now 19 months and we got him when he was 2 days old. I cannot even imagine having to see him return home. I will most certainly be praying for you. Please feel free to pm me. Our case is not resolved yet, we're just kind of hanging out there.

[straightblues]

May the peace of Christ be with you during this trying time.

I would stop calling the social workers and go down to their office and raise a ruckus until I got some answers. The worse they could do to you is take the child and that sounds like it is going to happen anyway.

[kaylasmom]

I am so sorry for your heart break! You will be in my prayers.

I don't understand why the sw don't call you back to try and make this as easy for you as she can.. I can only say that knowing a few sw well, they have said that it breaks there hearts to take the kids from ppl they know love them so much..maybe she is just avoiding whats hard.

They should be going to court the same day the baby goes home, the judge does have to see them and order the child's release, most time's the sw will have you bring the child to the office after court, or pick the child up after court.

As for monitoring after the child goes home, yes they do, they are in family maintanice, they still test and sre visited unanounced by the sw, the same sw you have know. If they did there case plan, then that mean's they have stayed clean for a amount of time set by the court's. We may not see, or think they have changed, but it is not for us to decide...foster care is for the family's to get help, then be put back together, which means we wlak away broke up inside, but it is the chance we take, when we love soooo hard and much.

Do you know the parent's, have a relationship with them? If so then maybe you could help with the baby, you could be there to baby-sit, or whatnot for them, that way you are keeping a watch on her and them, that way you'll know she is okey, and if they do mess up you could call the sw in to see, that's about all you can do at this point, I'm so sorry for your hurt!

[hesabanana]

I am so sorry for your loss. We had our adopted son's sister with us for 11 months (she was placed with us at two months of age) and they sent her back with the bmom. I was, and still am, devastated. I have no faith left in the system. We are still fighting for her. Feel free to pm me. You and your child are in my thoughts.

[Kelly Rae]

I will be praying for you and your little one. Keep praying for a miracle they do happen.

[kennasmom]

Prayers and hugs to you and your family. We will be thinking of you.

[karen1234]

and I am so very sorry for you. We got our ffs at 2 weeks old and he was RUed with his mom at 13 months. That was exactly 2 months ago. It is very, very hard and we miss him every single day. We had great communication with our sw and even now the sw continues to let us know that she sees him and he seems to be doing okay. The loss has been very hard on us but we took in another foster baby right as he was leaving and that helped us to focus our attention and love to someone else that needed us. Our ffs did overnights for 8 months before going home and we were well informed of the plans for him. I know how hard this is and I am so sorry for you all.

[jstodd]

Been there!!! I picked up a 2 day old and he RUed 15 months later. I had 3 hours to gather up his stuff and tell him goodbye. It took me months to really recover but I have and I also have fabulous memories of him that I can laugh and smile at now. I can tell you to not hold in your grief and anger. get it out. When you feel like crying, cry. same goes for the anger. When you think of her, think the memory through to the end. Don't try to block it out. For me, that made me hold on to the pain. I know it hurts right down to your soul. But I promise we will all cry with you. Love, luck, and, prayers to you and your family as you start a new chapter.

[carmi's momma]

Thanks for all the kind words. She went to parents on Friday and my heart has been broken since. I know it will get easier with time, but right now it just hurts to know she is out there confused and wanting us like we want her.
I think the state pulled a fast one on us as they did not go to court before RU and just had us meet dad at a parking lot with no social worker or anything present. We have received no paperwork saying that she is no longer in our care. This whole thing seems so weird. Any advice?

[callismom]

I would have never done that! It is the social workers responsibility to turn the child over to their parents. Just think if this child disappeared - do you have proof you turned the child over? I'm sure this didn't happen but I would have never agreed to do that. I find that some social workers try to get foster parents to do everything. I say NO loud and clear. Hopefully this little one will be OK, it is hard but somehow we do move on and the heartache is less as time goes on.

[lynnpalm]

I am so sorry for your loss. I realize that the state's goal is reunification when it can happen. Sometimes it makes me so angry when they say that word reunification... We are foster parents to a 13mo girl who we brought home from the hospital after she was born. Reunification... The last time she lived with her ** was in uterine! We are bracing ourselves to hear that we are going to loose her. After this experience, I don't have near the confidence in the system as I may have had at one time. Case workers are busy... The system is overloaded. It seems easy for something to slip on by. I have been told by our GAL that in addition to the social worker checking in on things,after reunification happens, that feedback from the pediatrician and day care also occurs. Maybe that is true for you as well. You are in our thoughts!

[ouska]

Your family is in my heart and in my prayers.
Peggy

[AmahMama]

We've had many of our children ru with bio's. This is what fostering is about. I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. I cry and pray and hope with all my heart that "my babies" do well back with thier families. I try so hard to look at my time with the children as this poem below. I have no idea who wrote it but I received it via email from a bio parent whose children I had several years ago.


"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or atan inconvenient time, this person will say or dosomething to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!


LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept thelesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.



Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.


I have myself convinced that ALL of my children feel this way about our time together. Hope it helps those of you who feel that your child has been taken from you. You were there for the "season" and bless you for being there. Thank you and God Bless You.