[carmi's momma]

I have had our fd since birth and just found out that she has the right to an attorney. The only reason I am interested is that they are looking to reunify and I think that it is not in the best interest of the child, only the parents.
Does anyone out there have foster kids with an attorney and what purpose if any do they serve.
Do they actually look at what kind of life the child would have if returned home as opposed to the life she has with us as her hopeful adoptive parents?
Any help would be great.

[coopspa]

I know in CA they are automaticly assigned an attorney when they are placed in the system. You may want to check if that is the case in your state. She may already have one.

[Missy06]

I would like to know this as well. We are in a similar situation. I have actually called an attorney this morning, but I have not heard back as of yet. In our case we were only 14 days away from the final TPR with the judge saying that there was no way this (TPR)would not happen. Next thing we know, the attorney for the child has dropped the case and called off TPR. Everyone involved in this case is dumbfounded at this point. We have been selected as the adoptive resource and we feel like this child is not being advocated for. BTW ** has never completed anything in her caseplan.

[jigger]

She should be assigned an attorney ad litem by the state or county she comes from. Ask your SW for the name of this person and give them a call. You may also want to find out if she's been assigned a guardian ad litem. This is someone hired to represent her best interests.

[stevenstwin]

This is something I don't fully understand either! My foster son had a lawyer - he was opposing the TPR, and was provided with a children's advocate attorney. I was told that they attorney must represent the child's best interest. Of course my son just saw him as "he has to fight the TPR because that is what I want". I never really was clear on how he was supposed to balance those two things! And since the parents ended up consenting, basically all he did was speak in court to make sure that my son was allowed continued access in some form or other. He screwed one thing up, too. He asked my son if he consented to us taking Private Guardianship - but didn't explain well enough and A. thought he was being asked if he consented to NOT being returned to his dad. So of course he said "no", even though what he REALLY would have said is "I want to go home - and if they won't let me, then I want the Private Guardianship". So we could have been all done that at once, and now we aren't.

[kxl164]

Our foster kids have a GAL who is there to protect and advocate for their best interests.

I know our GAL could say, yes send them home if he thinks they will be safe enough, or he might say that although the home is safe enough in general terms it is not best for these kids...

You should talk to the the child's attorney and see what he/she is advocating.

[carmi's momma]

We have a GAL and she does not think it would be best to send her home, but is saying that legally the parents have done what they are supposed to so she HAS to go along with reunification. I guess I don't understand why NO ONE looks at the life our fd has as opposed to the one she would have if she goes to bioparents.

[kxl164]

Sorry, but that doesn't really matter.

She is their daughter and if they have done all that is asked of them, then legally she needs to go home.

Now the GAL can still say that they disagree with reunification because they believe it will be in the child's best interest to remain where she is for one reason or another, but I think your GAL knows that if she did that then your dd would get reunified anyway because she doesn't have a legal issue to argue.

Do you have a CASA worker as well?

The CASA worker can make a recommendation that has nothing to do with legality, she can just say what he/she thinks would be best for the child.

But in foster care, the parents have to follow the case plan and and if the therapists and parenting classes and everyone they work with says they are fine and able to parent, then that is enough for the child to return home.

They should do a trial placement through DSS first, to see if the parents can really handle it. Meaning the child would go home, but DSS would retain custody for a while until they feel confident that the family will work.

[kxl164]

One other thing, in our state a foster parent can put in their own case to fight for custody of their foster child.

Here if you have had the child for 13 months you can apply for custody of the child and then go to court through your own lawyer and it would be a seperate case than the foster care case.

You would have a case because you have been the primary care-giver for the child for over a year and therefore a significant bond with the child and the new case would decide what would be in the child's best interests.

You should be able to look it up on the internet, I'd put in something like "foster parents filing for custody STATE". That is how I found out about our state statute.

[~*Max*~]

It's not fair to the parents or the child to look at whether you can provide a better life for her. All that matters is that they can provide a safe home for her. If they can and have met their case plan requirements, it is (to me) right for the little one to go home. It might be painful to me as a foster mom (I haven't been there yet), but I have to respect foster care's goals.

[sincerely]

I have to disagree that it isn't right all the time for a child to return. Every situation is different. I have a fc that is only 5 yrs old and very much wants a family and a permanent home. Has been in and out of different family's homes & foster care as well. Wants nothing to do w/ bmom. Bmom is currently in jail for the umpteenth time for drugs. There's always the possibility that she'll get clean and turn her life around. That would be great and in that case ok for the child to return home, but if she can't get clean or gets the child back and then goes back on drugs, this child will be in serious danger. The child already been abused and neglected. I'm sorry, I have a hard time imagining that even if the bmom gets clean, her surrounding environment (area her & her family & friends live and the lifestyle they are accustomed to) is surrounded by drugs and in my opinion, an unsafe environment. How many times do you let an adult screw up w/ the consequences directly hurting the child?

I want to advocate for this child and we would adopt if that was possible, but not sure what all I should be doing? Any suggestions?

[family friend]

Let me begin with acknowledging that I can't imagine how difficult it must be to love and care for a child for fourteen months and then have that child taken from you. It must hurt beyond belief. That having been said you appear to be taking the position that the child should not be returned to her parents because you can provide a better life for her than can her parents. If your position were correct then no parent should ever be offered reunification services because even if the parents complete their case plan they would not be entitled to the return of their child since the foster parents could provide a better life for the child. As one poster already said the issue is whether the parents can provide a safe enviornment for the child not who can provide the better life for the child. If we started taking away people's children because someone else could provide a better life for them then very few people would be entitled to raise their own children. As difficult as it may be for you if the parents have completed their case plan they are entitled to the return of their child and you do not seem to be saying that they are not complying with the case plan but only that you can provide a better life for the child. It is unfortunate that the child was placed in your home with assurances that she would become available for adoption but the reality is that you are the foster parent and the parents having complied with their case plan are entitled to the return of their child.

[carmi's momma]

Yes I understand that they are "entitled" to the return of their child, even though it is not a return since she has always been with us, but the only reason they got clean is because they were incarcerated and it gave them a chance to get off drugs for a certain amount of time, but they also have 4 other children that have been terminated and obviously will never fully live a "safe" life and be able to raise and keep this little angel in a "safe" environment. No one seems to want to look at there past when EVERYONE knows that history will repeat itself, so why take the chance at endangering her life because they have completed there case plan. WHOOPEE!!! I know this sounds harsh, but I have family of my own that has been in this cycle and they as sad as it may be will never live a clean life. Yes it is hard for us, especially since we are not able to have children of our own and would do anything to have her. I'm sorry but I will always value her more then they do, just because you get pregnant DOES NOT ENTITLE YOU TO A GIFT AS WONDERFUL AS A CHILD.

[kaylasmom]

I understand how you fill, I have a boy that I got when he turned 1. I have had him a year now. The dad has been in and out of jail since he was 18, now 32. When P was born dad was in jail, and wasn't around P much duringthat first year.

Mom got P takin away, dad got out of jail a week later, the first 6mth's he did most of his classes, he had to do most of them for a prop he was on, so In my opion, he didn't do them so much as to get P back but to stay out of jail.

He would come to most of the visit's with the mom, but not really get involved. Mom went to jail, dad missed visit's, all the sudden it was like he woke up...I need to do these classes, go to my visit's ect...he did, o'man was I sick...here I have taught this kid how to walk, talk ect, and now he come's alive and is going to gt him back because he took a few classes, but I love him more, I can give a better life, i'm all P know's, these were my thought, and alot more that i wont share, they make me sound worse then I already do.

I really do understand what your saying, BUT...fostercare IS about reunionafication, first and is a cruel way to adopt for ppl who can't have kids, it hurts so much when we are told we will beable to adopt, then, oooopps no they took the class so they go home.

I know that it is a never ending circle, but I do know of a person who got clean just long enough to stay clean, maybe this will be the case.

I'm sorry for your heartache, and the heartache to come, but it's not the finacle part of it, or the who love's her most, it's the fact that they are the parent's and we were the care giver, caring for the children UNTIL the parents got it together, not by our standerds, but by the court's.

You can go to court, and every fosterchild has an atty, ask the sw who it is and for the#, they know, and have it. Call the atty, and ask if they have a form you can fill out for the judge, we have one, and it lets us tell about the child, andour family. and lets us give our opion, for what it's worth.

In the end, all that really matter's is that they are the parents, and as long as they finish the case plan, the past is the past, and they will get there child back. Sorry I can't make it sound better, but it's better to start preparing yourself, how, I have no idea. I have prayed for mth's now, and in my case, God answered in the way I wanted him to, and p get's to stay...or so they say, I am still preparing myself for the worse, you never know what will happen. It doesn't matter who has had the child longest, or who brought the child home from the hospital, in the end all that will matter is if the case plan is done.

Nothing about this is easy, and many will say it don't make since, buit if you look at it from the parents view, if they do the case plan they should get the kids back. if there not going to get the kids back, why should they do the case plan?

Call the sw get the atty #, call the atty, go to court, do everything you can to make yourself fill better, nd to know you did all you could, but prepare yourself, I have seen them give them back when they shouldn't have.

[AmahMama]

The purpose and plan of foster care is first and foremost the chance for parents to get "clean" and work their case plan. The fact that this has happed means the system has worked. At least once. However they have done this, they did it. Incarceration does not necessarily mean that they have no access to drugs or anything else. Unfortunately there is access to whatever someone may "need or want" in jail if it is wanted badly enough. Is it possible to give the bioP's the benefit of the doubt and hope that they really straightened up because after having other children removed and terminated, they are serious about wanting to raise this child? We have had several children in our care that have returned and have done very well. Of course, we have had others that have returned to the system and TPR's have happened and the children have now been adopted.

Maybe instead of making this child a battlefield - you could be happy for her and rejoice that her bioP's have loved her enough to work towards reunification.

I know that it hs not a happy time for the fp's when a child leaves. Especially when they have been with us for so long - but I try to look at it as a rejoicing that the system does work and a blessing that I was able to love and care for this child while she needed a safe place to be. I feel that is is a victory for all involved. We know when we take these children into our home - it is not a permanent placement and shouldn't be looked at as one - not until TPR is affected and complete. It is natural for us - as adults - to be conflicted - we tend to look at all the what if's instead of simply being happy for the family that has been given a second chance to succeed.

Try to swallow your misgivings and make it a happy time for the child. It will be easier for all - and possibly the bio's will send Christmas pictures - where if you make it difficult - all contact will surely be severed.

Good luck and Bless you for caring for the child for as long and as well as you did.