[Suziee]

We are expecting to receive a 4 year old fd this month. We've had preplacement visits with her and I can foresee an issue arising about Halloween. In the past we've usually gone to our church's pumpkin party (where scary or innappropriate costumes are not allowed). We've tended to go for Disney characters, etc. with our bio kids. The problem is this 4 year old has told me multiple times that her mom likes to dress her like a Bratz doll, which I find a bit too racey for my taste. Her mom has told her that she wants her to be a Bratz doll for Halloween. I've read reviews from others about Bratz dolls and I'm not alone in thinking that their dress, look is not a very wholesome example for a 4 year old. My question: Do the bps usually/ever request and get their weekly visits to coincide with trick or treating? and do the bps ever show up at a visit for an inappropriate costume for their kids to wear? I'm not sure what to expect in this case, but I was planning on buying a Cinderella ballgown or something. What do you all think or do in this situation?
Thanks!

[mommyto9]

We do not trick or treat. We go to our churches Harvest Party. But we have had bp's get their child for a visit on trick or treat night and take them trick or treating. I have no idea what he wore. I currently have 2 fs's about to return home and they keep telling me they are going to be a vampire or witch or other scray things. When they are home there is nothing I can do.

[AmyAnne]

If Bmom provides a Bratz costume... Explain to FD that she can't wear the Bratz costume to this specific party because it's "in the rules". That's all she needs to know. Take pictures of her in the Bratz costume, some for her, some for Bmom, and take her to a house or 2 in the neighborhood in that outfit. Then change her into something more appropriate for the Pumpkin Party.

[stevenstwin]

Originally Posted by AmyAnne

If Bmom provides a Bratz costume... Explain to FD that she can't wear the Bratz costume to this specific party because it's "in the rules". That's all she needs to know. Take pictures of her in the Bratz costume, some for her, some for Bmom, and take her to a house or 2 in the neighborhood in that outfit. Then change her into something more appropriate for the Pumpkin Party.

Great idea - very tactful and should satisfy everyone!

[crick]

If fd is with you for Halloween, you might let her choose a more appropriate costume. Surely there are other things that she likes besides Bratz? So offer her a choice of Cinderella or an animal or whatever else she might like.

Might be less of a battle if she has a choice, kwim?

And obviously, if she's not with you that night then mom certainly has the right to dress her as she pleases.

[tvs4]

I agree with not turning this into a battle with the biomom. Yes, I find Bratz distastful but is it worth causing drama and forcing a four year old to feel like they are in the middle of a fight or that biomom is "wrong". It is one of those situations that although maybe annoying is not harmful. Let her wear the costume when with mom and just tell the child and biomom (if she even askes) that the church party is very specific about costumes. At this point, if biomom hasn't even produced the costume I'd say there is really only a 50/50 chance she will get it for the child. My experience is that bioparents are not always great on follow-through.

[vesw01]

Our girls wanted to be dalmations and a frog, so we bought nice Disney costumes to keep them warm. Their visit is not on Halloween but I told them today if their parents say ok, they can bring their costumes on the day of the visit to celebrate with their families.