[nvywife]

I have a brother and sister bio sib FC. the older one has raised the younger and this is the only attachment the younger has ever had. they are looking to place them with two different family members in two different states. I have also heard from SW that after the relative gets legal custody of younger one he will then be moved to a friends home. I would love to adopt them both but i have been told that relatives are always first regardless of the emmotioal well being of the kids. is there anything i can do?

[nvywife]

I thought i should add that they had not met these relatives and they want to live with me.

[vesw01]

How long have they lived with you? In our state (IL) at the age of 14 the children have a significant voice in their future. Do they have a GAL that you can speak with or speak to the SW supervisor or the children's counselor.

[twinflana]

this seems so wrong, how long have you had them? Have you considered getting an attorney. At least make sure they have a GAL to speak out for the child's best interests.

[ldurham]

nvywife: I was in a similar situation, to make a long story short my Husband is the only father that our fd's mother ever knew (although he is not her BDad) so we have been filling the roles of dad and stepmom to her all of her life. Anyway, BMom has two kids, one was with her and an emergency removal was done and she was placed with my sister-in-law in NJ. The other child was actually with her BDad in PA, but BMom had me come get her and bring her back to VA (never informing me that she was supposed to have turned the child over to DYFS) and she has now been with us 14 months. BDad and his family are going through the home assessment process and background check now - but we were advised by the GAL and from research that I have done there is no guarantee that the child will be placed with "family come lately", especially if attachment has already formed regardless of blood ties. If the kids have been with you for a while and depending on the level of attachment they have with the relatives I would suggest possibly having a bonding evaluation done. I don't know of many judges that would move a child that's bonded to the people that currently care for them just for the sake of placing them with family especially if reunification is not the goal.

There are several things to consider, it really depends on what the permanancy plan is for the kids, how long they have been in your care, and if there is any attachment (or even knowledge) of the "relatives". You should really express your concerns to the GAL and SW.

Good Luck

[nvywife]

they have been with me for 4 months so its not a real long time. they have a dual goal of ru and place ment with family. the family have been trying to get the kids since they were removed so they didnt jump up at the last minute but the kids have only spent one day with each one. im all for relative placement as long as they can be kept together but the relatives plan on moving them again once they have custody. i have told the SW my views but she says family first no matter what.

[ldurham]

I'm not understanding how the sw is considering it "family first" if the family is planning on moving one of the children to a friends home - and if the family is awarded custody - they can't just place the child where they want them to be. I would call the GAL and let them know the information that has been relayed to you. If there is a child placement review board hearing (which should be coming up in a couple of months) write them a letter and let them know what your concerns are as well. They too make a recommendation to the judge.

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

[hubbyswife]

If you can attend the review board, i would def go.... We have gone to ours and our youngest FD, we told them our concerns.....

They seemed to really like to see us there.....

[nvywife]

What is a placement review? should i be notified of it because they really keep me out of the loop on everything. The social worker keeps saying that after they are placed and she has no choice but to place them with relatives, what they do aftrerwards she has no say in.

[DCMomLady]

I don't understand that, either. When my niece was placed with me, we had telephone contact with our caseworker(s) (in two states) at least twice a month; I made a written report monthly; and they made a home visit every month -- until the adoption was finalized. Only then did the DCFS leave us alone.

I think someone needs to investigate your case if the DCFS really intends to approve relatives that they know will not be the ones raising the child. They just can't do that!

[mj77]

PLEASE notify the chidlren's attorney or GAL!!! I'm so glad you're advocating for these kids to stay together. The state should be looking at the best interest of the chidlren. In our state, after 6 mo of a child being in your care, if the children do not go back to parents, a foster parent can ask for current caretaker status which can then place you in a position as if you were a relative. Many states have this too. If you have the option of bringing this case before a committee of some sort against the birth family that wants to divide them, I would think you'd have some chance. However, I recognise every state is different. In our state bfamily has to be concidered first, but if there is a better home for the child, they try to place them there.

[tattudemom]

I thought keeping them together was as important, if not more, than family placement. After all, they ARE each other's family and more closely related than the other family members involved. If you fight this on behalf of stability for them as well as keeping them together, you would hope a judge will see that and do the right thing by them.

[mj77]

Originally Posted by tattudemom

I thought keeping them together was as important, if not more, than family placement. After all, they ARE each other's family and more closely related than the other family members involved. If you fight this on behalf of stability for them as well as keeping them together, you would hope a judge will see that and do the right thing by them.

I agree too!

[Chancey]

Not only go to the GAL and/or CASA, but go to the supervisor and up the ladder. Email it so that you have documentation!!

[nvywife]

Thanks everyone. i like to hear that others think the way i do and i am going to take action.