[~*Max*~]

providing identifying information to them during visits? I REALLY would rather they not know where he goes to school, my address, the day care, where he goes to church etc. Can you impress on a child that this information cannot be revealed? How do you explain to him that mom and dad cannot know this? (Not that visits have even been established yet, but I expect they will be as of Wednesday).

Thank you!

[echobunny89]

Will the visitation be supervised? I hope so if the parents are a flight risk. In a perfect world having the visits supervised would prevent any conversation between bios and child from even going in that direction but you just never know. Have you discussed your concerns with the SW? I would think that the schools/daycare would know that the child is in foster care and can only be released to either the foster parent or the state worker. My children's school(s) have always been very good at checking ID's for anyone picking up my children (I have even been asked for ID at times). I guess you will have to let the school/daycare know that they need to be super vigilant about who picks up the children. I know that my previous foster daughter T told her bios on a visit where she was living (in her previous foster home) and that the bios made it a point to stake out the house. I am not telling you this to scare you but just be aware that your foster children are going to want their parents to know where they live and will get the info to them anyway they can (T whispered it in her mother's ear when the SW wasn't looking) especially if your foster son feels the huge loyalty to his parents like you have mentioned. This is a huge part of being a foster parent and is something we all worry about. I am worrying about the possible retaliation from my FD's bios as we speak. I wonder every night if I will wake up to find my tires slashed or the paint on my new car keyed or something else more sinister. I have even gone as far as to consider putting an alarm system on my house. Hopefully someone else will have some good advice for both of us!