[deberiksen2662]

My hubby & I are taking classes to become foster/adopt. Through these classes I of coarse have been learning what is & what is NOT allowed. The problem: I know a woman who is a foster Mom, & I have reason to believe that she is breaking Quite a few of the disapline rules. Her foster children range from aprox. 5yr-10yrs. She has four of them at this time. I feel I should tell someone , but my husband is reluctant to do so. See she is his ex-wife . He is concerned about the fall-out. If I said anything his youngest son who is 25yr. and who lives with her would know it was us . And the oldest son {with whom my hubby is just getting to know again due to his ex-wife interfering in this relationship }Well he is afraid of losing this new relationship. The youngest son
has told me that they put the kids on time out and leave them there for hours sometimes. {they just make sure the kids get up every five min. and then sit them right back down} Josh{Hubby's youngest son that lives there}
told me that when they get tired of them sceaming they chase them outside and make them stay out. Josh also told me that restraining holds are done routinely but it's never reported. My son went over to spend time with his step brother, Stephen is 17yr, when Stephen got home he was upset by the behavior of these kids. The constant screaming, the constant lack of obedience, and the fact that the home was in total chaos. Stephen told me that Joshes mother was not there and was gone the entire weekend. I also know that Josh was taking persription pain medicine. Stephen told me that Josh fell asleep several times, and Stephen had to deal with these children {stephen has never even had a babysitting job}
Does anyone have any input, sujestion ??? I feel these children are not being put in the best home. I feel that maybe this fostermother could use more training Or maybe I'm just being niave??? could anyone help me?? Thank you

[twinflana]

It is so hard to know what is the right thing to do. When I first started reading your post I thought that this was just a case of emotionally disturbed foster children who act out more than other children and sometimes drastic measures are needed but after reading the part about your son having to watch the kids while the mom was nowhere to be found I would have to say yes you must report this. As a foster mom you are not allowed to leave the children in another person's care unless they are checked out also and this lady definately violated that rule.

[BrandyHagz]

Deb,

You need to come to terms with this concern as does your husband - once your home is licensed, NOT reporting this is a violation of law and can result in some heavy legal problems for you guys.

Once you are licensed, you are a mandated reporter.

[echobunny89]

Not only that but as a foster parent or even a foster parent-in-training you are what is called a "mandated reporter" which means that you MUST report any instances of suspected abuse or risk losing your foster care license or risk being denied your license if you are in the process of getting one. You need to report this!

[lakin11]

I would report what you know. You can tell them you want to remain anonymous although depending on what you tell them, she may be able to figure out who said what. However, its not your job to decide if she's innocent or guilty! You express your concerns and let CPS/DFC decide whats going on. I agree, you can have repercussions affecting you if you don't report.

[Momoflele&bernie]

If you think she is Violating any rules i would Report, because you are a MANDATED REPORTER...so do it

[deidra_mitchell00]

We are mandated reporters but more importantly is if you know that there are children that could be in possible danger they should come first. Your husbands kids may actually someday respect him for that, you never know. Good luck
Dee
PS. Welcome to the world of foster parenting it is an amazing but trying journey

[deberiksen2662]

Thank you all for your input. I was pretty sure that I should report this person. I guess I just needed some suport. Hubby is still not feeling really good about doing this. {I mean the reporting part } But knowing what a wonderful man he is I know we will work thru this bump in the road. Thank you again.