[redfred]

I don’t even know where to begin on this one… Our family consists of J (5 ½ yrs), L (3 ½ yrs) and Z (19 months). All of theses kidos are adopted. Then we got a placement of J (now 7 weeks) for foster. And we were doubly blessed with a private adoption placement of D (now 5 weeks). All is going very, very well. We’ve had 5 kiddos in the past and 99% of the time I love it. Then we get a call about our fs’s sister who has just been severed for adoption. She is 17 months old and would we be interested… After a LOT of prayer and consideration, my husband and I said yes and we began to make MAJOR adjustments to be able to accommodate so many kids (financial changes, and we were about to sign on to purchase a 12 passenger van). Wanting to make sure that we were doing everything right, I called our licensing agency to make sure we didn’t need to change our license, do additional paperwork, change anything on our end. When I finally talked to them (I had to call them 3 times), the director told me that we were in violation of the states statues for ratios of kids to grownups already. Basically, in our state you cannot have more than 4 kids age 5 or under. (Ok, I’m not picking an issue with the law here – I know that it is in place to protect the kids.) And to top it off, we’ve been in direct violation of this statute with almost every foster placement we have had! AND the agency KEEPS TRYING TO PLACE ADDITIONAL KIDS IN MY CARE RIGHT NOW!!!!!! When I pointed this out to the lovely gentleman in charge and I stated that the placement worker called me just the other day to try to get us to take another baby (we said no), he said “Well, when we get desperate we do desperate things!” He went on to tell me that he was going to pretend that I didn’t call. More details that came up in the conversation included that he really didn’t think that the state really would come in and take BOTH my babies, but that they could if the knew we were in violation. He then proceeded to throw out a bunch of “loop holes” to this statute that other families have used like hiring a nanny for the next 2 ½ years, having someone on a night shift just come over to the house to sleep in order to have the 2 grown up ratio met, putting the 2 foster kids in full time daycare for the next 2 ½ years (I am a stay at home mom by CHOICE) and on and on up to saying “You know, we have an 18 year old foster child who if they were to come over to your home then you would technically have 2 adults in the home”!!!!!!!!! He went on and on and then said “Well, the state could come and take D away from you..” (D is a private placement through this lovely agency – it will be at least 6 months til we finalize.)
My husband and I have realized that there is no way we can legally adopt this kidos and that J has to leave and move to another home. We are devastated over this, but recognize that J deserved a permanent placement as soon as possible (he is fast tracked for adoption). We cannot believe that our agency so blatantly disregards the state statues. I am OFFENDED that they are threatening to take our private placement away. We’re so upset over this.

[bumpkin]

Wow, that is so upsetting.... can they not do a waiver??? we had to get one to have more than 2 under 2.

Perhaps this can be worked out! Will pray for your family

[DreamingAzure]

I know very little about the foster system in your state...but that sounds VERY odd...I know quite a few families that have more then 4 bio and adopted children under the age of 5. And it would be VERY unlikely that they could stop your adoption placement at this point...even if you aren't finalized. Your state probably has their regs available online(at least Texas does) see if you can find them and read them for yourself!

Best of Luck,

[straightblues]

You are in clear violation of the laws. Fix it if and when you need to. Your agency gave you several ways to fix it and went beyond that and adopted a "don't ask, don't tell" policy with you. If you want the kids, fix your problem if it comes up. Get an aunt, neighbor, or friend to come in. Have you mom, dad or brother or sister move in for a couple of years. Get a preschool to say you are bringing the children by. Get a friend in from Church.

Dump your agency if they get scared and go direct to the County SW (the person who was in charge of placing the children in the first place.) It sounds like the agency may want to protect their own behinds at some point (which is reasonable).

You have a issue, but it hasn't become a problem yet. And, if it ever becomes a problem, you have several ways to fix it. Enjoy your kids, you are amazing to take on this many little ones.