[echobunny89]

I asked to have my 17 yr old FD removed yesterday and offically gave a 10 day notice to have her moved. I have really tried, my whole family has, but we just don't feel this is working for us. FD took herself off her depression meds. a month ago without telling anyone (we were trusting her to take her meds- she is 17) and has just been generally untrustworthy every chance she gets. She has major issues that I just don't feel my family can handle. One of which is the need to ALWAYS be the center of attention. If someone in my house is sick, she's sicker, someone did something good- she did it better- to the point of making up bald-faced lies about things. I have never seen someone so unmotivated and with such a lack of initiative. I just don't know what to do about it. She sees nothing wrong with showering twice a week (even when she has her period - gross!), won't pick up her room, wants to stay up all night on her cell phone and then sleep til 3pm the next day. She hangs with a real bad element that I just can't seem to get her away from (hence the sneakyness). We had an incident where one of these boys I have asked her not to be friends with threatened to come over here with a gun and "shoot up the whole family". Nice, I can't deal with that type of stuff. Not to mention I don't think she (or the kids she hangs around with) are a good influence on my own 15,13 and 11 yr old girls. I don't know, I feel like such a heel for not being able to deal with this stuff. My fiancee and I finally had to sit down and admit that we just don't have the patience in us for this.
We have our hands full with my 4 bios as it is. It wasn't an easy decision. I am hanging up my hat. I tried, I really did, but these children had much bigger issues then I was made aware of and even though I tried my best I just can't do it.

[vernellinnj]

Don't be hard on yourself. As you said, you tried. In the famous words of my mom, "All we can do is the best we can do."

Good luck.

[Faith65]

Anne,

I understand how hard of a dession this was. May you find piece and calmness in the weeks to come.

[proudmomof4]

You hung in there longer than I would have!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't feel bad at all!!!!!!!!!

[stevenstwin]

You did a good job, Anne. I think you waited plenty long...and I hope you have some really good, positive family time with your own 4. I think you all deserve some time to get to know each other again in peace!

[AmyAnne]

Anne,

I know this was not an easy decision for you, but I think you made the right one. You cannot be faulted on effort, you gave it your best and I hope you continue to come here for support if you need it.

[Luvbeingmommy]

Anne,

I sent you a PM.

[kikibrando]

You did your best, under a lot of stress. I didn't last a quarter of the time you have, and I had less to deal with my foster son.

Bless you for caring so much and trying so hard!

[LeighM]

Having a child move is one of the hardest thing we as foster parents have to deal with. But your bio children have to come first.

I would say to you before you close your home consider putting it on hold for a couple months after the child leaves. After that time if you still feel you are done than close it out. But it could be she is just too much for anyone.

[MPJJJ]

I agree with the above poster. Also, have you thought of fostering children in a younger age range?

[StephanieMB]

I was wondering too if you thought about taking younger kids? I don't think it's a real good idea to take kids older than your oldest bio kids. But that's just my opinion.

I don't have the strength/courage/patience/whatever to deal with teens yet. Our oldest child is only 12, so we aren't even considering older kids.

You were brave to try this foster girl! Bless you for trying... maybe you could give yourself and your family a little time and space to regroup before making the final decision to quit taking children.