[Gator1]

I feel so excited to have found this site. My husband and I have taken in 4 children, ages 12, 10, 9 & 8. They are all siblings. My husband and I have 2 sons, the oldest in married and our youngest son is starting his 2nd year of college. We are not foster parents, but the court has given us custody. Everytime I talk to the DHS worker she always says this is a strange case. I met this children as I was driving the van for our church picking kids up for Bible School. I knew their sister, who is only 16, married, has a 2 year old and is about to deliver her 2nd child. I met her through our church, anyway her mom was going to send her brother and sisters to spend the summer with an uncle, an uncle that had raped the 16 year old. She did not want them to go there so she ask her mom if she could have them for the summer. She could not handle all of them so my husband and I prayed about it and needless to say we have all 4 children. The 12 year old is a girl and we are going to adopt her, her mom stated in court that she does not want her, but I guess my question is, would it benefit us to become foster parents? At this time the state of Arkansas gives us no type of help and has taken their medicaid away. My husbands insurance will not let us add them because we do not have perm custody? We have had the kids since the first of June, went to court July 19th since the court date the mom has called almost everyday. The girls do not talk to her much but the little boy gets really upset everytime she calls. We are having a family meeting tomorrow, visitation will be set up at that time, do you think it would be unreasonable for me to ask that the court let her call only once a week?

[swanzie]

If DHS is involved I would think that they should be able to get the benefits from DHS, like medical. Do you have your own lawyer?

I would document the behaviors of the children. Are you trying to adopt all 4? If you are just babysitting I would think that you would want to get some sort of help from the mother...she might not be able to handle them - but that does not excuse her from taking care of them financially (like medical) unless she signs them over to you or to DHS. At least that is what I think - I could be wrong...but i have heard of cases where the bio has to pay the state while their kids are in care so I would think she still would be responsible for this even though you are watching her kids until she decides what she is doing. If you are going to adopt you can set up any arrangements you want as post-adoption contact. I would definately go thru your lawyer and get it all down as to what is expected and not acceptable to you and hope the biomom agrees. Good luck - you are definately in a off the charts situation. I hope that something can be worked out for the benefit of these children!!

[MomInAL]

Your story sounds very much like our own. The kids that we now have (siblings: 16 yo girl, 11 & 10 yo boys) we first met picking up on our bus route for church nearly 2 years ago now. We became foster parents so we could have them placed with us, and now we hope to finalize our adoption within the next month or two! I couldn't help but recognize the similarities when I read your post.

We are foster parents, but for a few months last fall we also had another child living with us. We were just a temporary place for her to live... by the time it was going to court for her to "officially" be placed with us by the courts (guardianship) she decided to go and live with her birth mother. Long story short - the state would not help pay for anything with her because she was not placed with us through DHS. If the kids are with you through a court order, then most likely DHS will not help with anything... at least that has been my experience.

We will keep you in our prayers.

MomInAL
Married to DH 20 years in November!
DD 18, DD 16, FD 16, FS 11, FS 10 (soon to be adopted!)

[Gator1]

The court has given us custody. A DHS worker comes every week to check on the children. She did tell me last week that she had put in for a waiver so she would only come once a month. She told me that this could go on for over a year. The mother has over 500 neglect charges against her at this time. As far as her paying anything, she has never had a job up until last week. She worked 3 days and then called in sick and I don't think she has gone back. She and all 4 children were living in a travel trailer with no running water and one bed so the courts have said that she has to maintain a job and housing before they would even consider letting the children go back. I know that the girls would be fine staying with us forever, but the little boy is the one that just brakes my heart. She really plays on his emotions. We do have a lawyer. I don't know if anyone is familier with CASA, but the lawyer is free for us and the children. She has really worked hard for the kids and us.
Do you think us going through the foster care program would benefit us at all?

[vesw01]

If you have guardianship than your husbands insurance would have to let you add them - that is a law - you do not have to official adopt them. If DHS has custody and you have placement then the state has to provide them with a medical card.

Going through the state the kids should be automatically given a medical card and there should be some financial assistance for your family - and daycare costs paid (at least there is in IL) if you both work full-time, but the downfall is you would be required to follow whatever they tell you. If you do have legal custody, I think you have all the say so until the judge allows (if that would ever happen) for the kids to go backv c

[ajrl]

I am a foster mom and my sil is not. This is her situation.

She has temp custody of her sister's son who is 5. They have fought the system because she has temp custody of the boy and not legal guardianship since the biodad will not sign the papers.

Biodad has no job. Her sister has a learning disability from being dropped on her head at a young age. The bio mom is trying hard to let my SIL have the boy but getting flack from the biodad. She had to wait to go to court for them to get temp custody. Since DFCS was involved and now not involved they too could not get medical or a stipend. At court the judge gave my SIL Temp custody for a year. Then ordered the biodad to pay child support. This is the only way they could get any money since the kid wasn't in DFCS custody.

If the kids are wards of the state that's the only way you can get the monthly per diem. Otherwise you have to wait till the dad pays his child support. If he fails to pay in any month then you can not get any money it's not a guarantee. So needless to say my SIL hardly gets the court ordered child support.

Now once she got temp custody she was able to take that order and go to Social Services and get him medicaid based on his income, which is based on the court ordered child support. If any of the kids are under 5 you can then get WIC for them that will help a little on the grocery bill.

The only blessing in this whole thing is that the kids are not in DFCS custody. To make it legal you should go after legal guardianship if you do want to keep all of them and bypass DFCS.

With that you can keep them and bypass the foster care system. If you are looking for the per diem then you can do foster care but there is no certainty that they will be placed w/you since they will be wards of the state and then it's the CW's choice where they go.

AJ

[mj77]

I STRONGLY advice getting your foster licence! Without the foster licence, you may have a hard time getting free medical insurance for the kids until they're 18 as well as adoption assistance for them. Most states will give you a monthly check to help with needs of children that are older, sibling groups, racial minority, or multiple siblings. I am sending you a private message.