[gregorysparents]

Hello.

This will be my final correspondence on this forum.

I received a phone call from my County director this afternoon pointing out that I have broken the foster parent privacy rules in regards to some of the things that I have posted on this site. When she called, I honestly did not know what she was talking about - because it never even crossed my mind that I might have done something wrong.

I have found one error that I did do - I accidently (when I copied and pasted) showed the last name of one of our foster children's parents. I will say this right now - it WAS an honest mistake - I DID NOT KNOW that I had left their name on this post. When I found out about this error, I contacted someone from this board and they removed the parents last name within seconds.

I have tired for over a year to show everyone that while the system might appear not to work at times - we are lucky to have this system. Furthermore, I have ALWAYS stressed that the goal of the foster care system is REUNIFICATION. I have also encouraged people NOT to become foster parents if they were becoming foster parents just so they could adopt - that's not the goal of the system.

Furthermore, this was a good place for me to go to to learn and to vent. There is no support group close to us - so - this was my support group. I feel like I received some help and also have given help to others. Most importantly, I have made several friends because of this forum.

Finally, I have posted over 450 posts - with no negative feedbacks - I think that this is GREAT.

If I did break the privacy rules - I did it by pure accident. We could very well loose the placement we have because of this.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers this week, as there will be a meeting on Thursday regarding this matter. I was not asked to attend. So, I am going to try to write a letter to the director apologizing for any errors that I might have made on this site.

Thanks to all of you that have provided us support and etc. since I first joined this forum - March 2005.

Christina

[leenab]

I have no idea what to say. I hope all goes well on Thursday and that you can keep your current placement.

[sgtfirstwife]

You are in my heart and prayers. I hope that they realize what a mistake they are making.

[Lamaena]

I would expect that as the good foster parent I assume you are, that they will not revoke your license and write off your mistake as what it truly is, an honest mistake. As human beings none of us are perfect and as the fallible beings we are, we have ALL made mistakes.

I hope that the board will recognize the truth and accept your apology.

Good luck!

[vernellinnj]

Sending prayers your way. Lord, let YOUR will be done.

Guess this really proves it, we really have to assume that any and everything we write on this (and other) forums is public knowledge and can be held against us.

[TexasJingles]

So sorry. You're not the 1st that's had a problem with an agency about posts on here. You don't really have to have done anything it seems to get in "trouble".

I know someone that didn't reveal ANYTHING, just vented her frustration, like we all have done (things like, cwrs not returning calls, slowness of the system, you know, just general stuff). Seems like a wkr in the office is on this board and read her posts. She never mentioned the agency, nothing! She was told that perhaps that agency wasn't a good fit for her.

This is also our only support "group". Too bad we have to watch every single thing we post to make sure nothing can identify us, including our screen names.

Good luck!

[hesabanana]

Christina,

You have been a beacon of light on this site. Your strength and perseverance have been an inspiration, and your positive outlook has been a comfort to me during some very tough times.
I am so sorry your agency is putting you through this...clearly you have meant no ill intent. I am hopeful that the county staff respond favorably in their meeting. Yet, I find it concerning that you are not invited, and wonder what your recourse is if their decision is unfavorable.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please do keep in touch with us, even if via pm.

[tpakra]

Christina,

I really don't have much to say that others don't. You were the first person on here that reached out to me and guided me through everything. For that, I am eternally grateful. Your friendship to me has been more valuable than you know, and I only hope that I can be there for you when you need me like you are for me. I know that even though you are not going to be on this board anymore, that we will still remain friends.

This board is a never ending supply of encouragement and support, and I hate to see that things posted on here are used against us. It's sad really. Most of us don't have support in our every day daily lives, except for the support that we receive at this site, and it's a shame that now we have to be ever vigilent so that we are not having anything used against us. I can tell you that 99 percent of my friends don't understand what we go through every day as foster parents, so I turn to the board. Unfortunately, I feel very cautious about that now. Where else can we get support without being afraid that it will be used against us?

Again, Christina, you are an absolutely wonderful person, and I know first hand that you would not do ANYTHING to intentionally go against the rules of foster parents. We are all human, and we make mistakes. I sincerely hope that you don't have to pay for a simple slip by losing your foster care license. You are a true asset to the state, and to the children, and I hope that they see that.

Good luck at your interview tomorrow, and let me know how everything goes.

[lakin11]

I ditto Krissy!
I am just furious for you. I hope that some right can be done to fix this situation! A big hug and lots of prayers!
Shannon (should I be afraid to post my name now too?)

[swanzie]

As part of this foster support group is there anything we all can do to help Christina and her family out? Can we take it to the federal level and say that we have a bunch of foster parents from every state who would gladly relinquish being volunteers because our true friend and support is being treated like this? Does anybody have any ideas how we could help fight the system for her. This family has been thru so much, trying to help children in need. This is absolutely unjust especially since I know my LW encourages me to join foster parent groups...whats better than this!!??

I am so upset right now for this family I can't even fathom what she is going thru. They've already put them thru the mill the last few weeks - and now this?? I just don't get it.

If anybody has an idea, or can come up with anything we can do I would be glad to help out. Even if it is to write to all her state senators, county workers or even the dog officer I don't care...this is just unfair in every way. This woman does and is everything we all strive for as foster parents. I have recieved so much inspiration from her I can't tell you. I am just appalled at the whole thing. Please take my kids if someone is spying on me. Its either this board or your voice mail..which would you prefer!

Christina, if you are reading this - I am so sorry, I don't know what to say. I hope things turn out ok - you and your family will definately be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Tracy740]

I have never read your posts, but you just answered a very important question for me and thus helped me. We are in the process of becoming foster parents so we CAN adopt...... Now I know that is not the way to go about it, especially when SS goal is for Reuninte. But why do they reunite when it is a really bad situation? I still do not understand that.

Anyway, thanks for helping me see the light. I will no longer be in the process of getting my license.

[missw005]

Christina,

Wow. I am in shock. There have been times when I, too have vented about my worker and the system - both foster care and special needs adoption - but like the others, I assumed this was a "safe" place to do so.

I am so sorry about W. I hope to God they realize you made an honest mistake and won't hold it against you.

I am also extremely sorry to see you leave this board. What a loss for current and future members!!! I have always loved your posts - your humor, your sadness and loss, your kindness and support for others, your helpful suggestions...........I could go on and on.

I don't know why you and dh have been put through such trials in the foster care system. Perhaps in the end, it will change things for the better for other foster parents. I can only hope so.

Girl, you and I go way back. Know that I am always here for you and you are always in my heart. You have my personal email, please use it and keep in contact. I don't want to lose a good friend, even though we have never met. I don't want your voice to be silenced.

All my hopes to you and dh that your meeting goes well. You are in my heart and thoughts always.

Sandy

[StorkWatcher]

Even if we lose a good forum freind, I hope they're not going a good foster parent. You honestly didn't mean to do this. What about the foster "parents" out there who abuse and take advantage of the system? Here you are, trying to fight for children, with NO support group help from them nearby - how on earth are you supposed to cope with things????

Please stay in touch w/ anyone you can here through private emails. You need support, and y ou have been very valuable support to others!

Good luck!

[madfostermomma]

I agree with Swanzie- as a group we should be able to write the powers that be and let them know that we need this support. This should be treated just as any other support group- in face to face support groups, it's a safe place, a place to vent and express how you are really feeling. Perhaps a letter to the powers that be from a mental health professional might help.

[hubbyswife]

Christina, sorry to hear this... I know for me personally I have been typing up responses but then I close them without sending b/c I don't want to spill too much... I'm always worried about that. I know we don't have any real support here where people know what we are going thru and that's why I really love this forum... It's too bad that sw or higher ups don't get that. As foster parents, we are isolated b/c it's not like we can just talk to "regular" parents about the frustrations of this system or the kids b/c then they say why become foster parents or give the kids back.. I wish u luck w everything and hope they can see your honest mistake.....

take care....


Just a quick note to people who want to adopt from foster care.

While we are doing foster care just to adopt... We also know that the goal is always REUNIFICATION.... That's why they have homes that are concurrent...b/c what better way for a child that comes into care to be in a foster home that wants to adopt. This way the kids never have to be moved or form another bond. Don't give up on the system just because u want to adopt. But I do recommend having an open mind about the process and no one says it's going to be easy. I'm sure you'll have heart break but that's life.... just try it and if it doesn't work out then go thru the private agencies...