[shy_bear]

I was so excited yesterday that we had finally gotten to the bottom of our "mess" and we were looking forward to getting a baby ASAP. It was the first night I have slept in weeks, I have been so stressed about all of this!!!! Anyway, hubby calls the placement cw this morning. We are ONLY adoptive placement certified, not foster parent certified and that is what is needed for an er placement. We have been told twice we are on the er placement list. We have stated through this whole ordeal that we will take a high legal risk situation. We were told in training the only way to get a newborn is to do high legal risk and now to find out we are not even qualified for that is pushing me over the edge!!!!! The private agency we talked with said we would have to be refinger printed and it is taking 10-12 weeks. So she said we would not be licensed for 4 to 5 months through them. I am really begining to think this is God's way of telling me this is not the route for us. It has been one thing after another.

[shy_bear]

Just got off the phone with the adoption supervisor. First, they can't find our file. They are thinking one of the other cw's, who is on vacation, has it. Second, apparently from 9 years ago we are in the system for another county from when we adopted our oldest daughter. So we have not been put into this county's system at all. She proceeds to tell me that they are confused by ME, that I am doing inquires on childern, saying we want legal risk, and I call alot. I have twice since May, I have emailed numerous times, but I am sorry that is their job to answer my questions. They asked me if we were looking at going elsewhere, and I told them at this pt I did not know. I did tell them the private agency has been more helpful then they have, and the supervisor got ticked at that and said they are breaking cofidentiality and she would take care of them. So pretty much they are going to be ticked at me also. As of today I am washing my hands of all of it. If we ever get a placement then so be it. If hubby does not make rank in the fall, I am going to ask him if we can look at going somewhere else. I am going to focus on my girls and start saving towards an infant placement. It is a shame, we are good parents and this whole system stinks

[bajj]

I am so sorry you're being put through the wringer. I've never fostered to adopt, but my close friends have and the system has some serious flaws! I'll keep you in my prayers.

Ani

[src3]

Shybear, I feel so sorry for you! It makes me so mad when they say that there are so many children out there that need a good home and then it is such a struggle to get one. Hang in there, maybe this isn't the right time and things will go smoother later. src3

[Chancey]

I'm sorry for you and think that this is all too common. The CW's don't do their job then lie about it. Well... If you are considering going away, you might want to think about finding who is up the food chain. I have made a job of going on the internet and finding the CPS commissioner's name, the asst. commissioner, the local director, etc. I did have a CW outright lie to me on email, and I had the proof that it was a lie. I copied the the district director on a scathing email... and VOILA... got what I needed instantly.

[hubbyswife]

That's just terrible.... Don't give up...Hang in there and YES the system stinks sometimes!

[wrekdiver]

Shybear,
I am sooo sorry to hear about your frustations. You sumed the whole thing up with DSS. "It's never our fault, so it must be you."
They are agents of the government. And as such, they don't think they have to answer for anything....ever. But we have to keep reminding them in that sage, old patience kind of way, that Yes not only do they have to answer---but they have to answer to you.
Keep trying and if you do decide to leave then keep documentation. Then cause a stink that they will be smelling way after your gone.