[tctwhite]

Today our newer placements had their 2nd visit with their grandparents (who they lived with since birth). Supposively mom was MIA and they had no clue where she could be found. Well today low and behold, her and who they think is BF show up for the visit. BF sat in the car, Im guessing theres bad blood with BF and grandpa. I was introduced to the mother who seems like she is ok, and everything was good. Till it was time for them to be put in the car. The oldest starts screaming, kicking, hitting and just going crazy on me. The ** and the grandparents went inside with the caseworker and let me have at it. She starts calming down and then the BF gets out of his car where he was sitting and just stands in front of my van. She then goes nuts on me again. He just stood there and watched me and her fight to get her in her seat! I tried calling the caseworker inside to tell him to go away and leave me alone but her voicemail picked up. I ended up having to leave the parking lot and driving out of sight of the BF. She had herself wedged between the second and third seat on the floor when we got to the parking lot. Then she had herself so worked up that she threw up all in the van. When all that was over and I finally got her calmed down my legs were so shaky I could barely get them in the house. I cannot believe that someone would cause that much trauma for a child for absolutely no reason!!
The caseworker and I had a chat after I got home and calmed down a bit. She will be bringing them home after each visit from now on. Shes kinda new (actually taking the place of someone who is on maternity leave) and wasn't expecting all this to happen. It was terrible and I was almost in tears for the kids having to go through all that. Even got my poor lil' bio son in tears too and its his 3rd b-day today.
I had to bring everyone home and hold them till they calmed down.......while I did too.

Vent over.....carry on and thanks for listening!!

[ml4474]

Oh man! This has been a heck of a day! I'm curious as to why the child would react to the BF this way... I keep thinking, What has this man done to these children??? Why didn't anyone help you? I know saying good bye is not easy but this was a little bit more than having a hard time saying bye...

[MBelt8402]

oh my. Hang in there, and hug them close. They must have been through a lot.

[twinflana]

I would question as to why the bio parents were allowed at the visit if they have been mia this whole time. Do they children have a GAL or CASA? If so I would be sure to let her/him know exactly what happened.

[tctwhite]

Actually there is someone coming that is doing their family assesment tomorrow afternoon. I think Ill inform her as to what happened. Because thats just crazy. Our DFCS will let anyone come to the family's visits as long as the parents/grandparents dont mind them being there. From the things we have seen, our DFCS needs a lot of work because of the things they allow. And thats sad because the kids are the ones who suffer from it.

[5starday]

There is DEFINITELY something else going on with their background! No child would react that dramatically if there wasn't!

How old is the child?

I would definitely get the GAL and the CW together for a meeting to discuss future visits and how they should be and who should be allowed to attend. Until you all figure out why this child reacted this way, you have to be careful of how much is thrown at her.

Keep her safe and good luck!

[mom2GRLC]

In cases like that it is common for DHS to do the transporting of the children or for you to drop the children off early then pick them up a little later once the bfamily has left.....or keep the bfamily inside and then have a worker bring the children to another room and then outside to get into the car. That way the "leaving" part isn't so difficult for the kids.

I am so sorry. At least the socail worker did the right thing by bringing the bfamily inside....but someone should have come out and got the birthfather as well.

Just a warning "NEVER" drive away from the DHS parking lot without the children properly in their seat belts. That is a huge NO NO. I understand the circumstances were ones that you just wanted to get out of there.....but you could be reported (wouldn't put it past the birthfather) for driving without the child being properly restrained and the kids could either be removed or you could have to deal with an investigation yourself and possibly loose your license.

You may want to get other numbers in your cell phone for future problems. If the social worker doesn't pick up then call someone else and someone else until you are able to get someone out there to help you. Or simply take the child out of the car and go inside the building. Ask to go inot one of the visitation rooms until the birthparents have left and until the child is calmed down.

If all else fails and your not getting the help you need and the birthparents are harassing you call the police.

Also this insident should be brought up at the next court hearing and so make sure you document. You should also call up the attorney ad litem and tell him about it. They can bring it to the courts attention even before the next court hearing asking for the parents to not have visits or only have visits in the presence of a therapist. Who can help the child and the family work through these kinds of issues.

[hotspice58]

Sounds like those bp's really abused their "kids".