[roomformore]

Our two foster kids are supposed to be going back home in about a month/month and a half as per ordered by the judge at the case workers discretion within this time frame. Well the weekend visits are not going good I dont think. The mom will not give them naps. They are 3 and 2 and need naps. I am potty training one and she sends him home in diapers. Last week she sent them both home without any diapers or underwear at all! Just shorts. When I said this to the worker she said send all they need that the parents are not making a good enough income to provide for them. SO WHY WOULD THEY BE SENT BACK HOME IN A MONTH??? I mean if the parents cant even buy diapers or panties? Not to mention they went without food before and I think they still might be? I also dont always get back what I send and it returns filthy/ruined. Any ideas/suggestions?

[TNfostermom]

Our 16 month old fd has an overnight visit with her parents once a week. Before these started I asked them if they needed me to send anything with her. They said they had everything they need, so I don't send anything. If I send her in clothes I have bought for her they don't send those clothes back, so I always send her in clothes they have bought. They are doing pretty good taking care of her. It is easy to tell that they love her. We are expecting her to go home pretty soon.

[mommieof2cuties]

I would send the kids in items you don't mind never seeing again! Also send maybe a package of diaper/pullups for them so that the children don't suffer.

God Bless,
Summer

[ml4474]

I agree with the other two post - send the kids in clothing you don't mind seeing again. I'm with you on the money issue - how are these parents going to provide for children if they do not have the money to take care of them on weekend visits? I've seen some really strange things... that is one of them

[stevenstwin]

It is kooky. It's really similar to what we're going through - but with time instead of money. TPR has been postponed 3 times because the bio mom hasn't 'had time' to find a lawyer - because she works! Well, my question is "where is she going to find time to raise 3 kids?"

[swanzie]

I'd ask your caseworker if ** ever heard of cloth diapers...if she can afford to keep doing laundry - this might be right up her alley.

I would only send the kids back to visits in what they came to your house in. She has to earn her privelege back to take care of these children and if she can't the sw needs to see that.

Obviously when the kids do go home I'd send everything then - but these visits right now are to see if she can handle it...doesn't sound like she is doing it. I would also document everything so that if need be you can talk to the kids attorney.

But I bet these kids go back home to bio -then in no time will be back in care - its a shame - but that is my gut feeling on this case.

[5starday]

I agree on sending them back to bp's with clothes you don't mind seeing again.

Another idea is if you have a clothing resale store near you. We have a place called Other Mother's and they have incredibly inexpensive children's resale clothing that are in good condition. I can usually find outfits for $.99 to $2.00. I allow the kids to play in these "hand-me-downs" so that their good clothes don't get damaged. Perhaps you could use clothes like this to send to them home in.

Or, have 1 to 2 "going home" outfits and always send them in just those outfits.

I know it's frustrating, but some bp's just don't have a clue. In fact, they might even think they are entitled to keeping the clothes since you have their children. I know it sounds bad, but that sometimes is their mentality.

I would keep a log of all of the times you have had to provide diapers or clothes or when they have been sent home dirty or without food. Make sure the CW is aware and update her AND the GAL after every visit so they can stay on top of the situation.

Good luck!

[mommieof2cuties]

I love the idea about going to a second hand store also goodwill has baby clothing for under 2.00!

God Bless and thinking of you
Summer

[roomformore]

Yeah the kids grandma who I am friendly with at visits said she thought the kids would end up in care again. And she wants to relinquish the older sibling she is fostering-my foster kids sibling-to me. I said no way because he is 7 years old and poops his pants all the time and also smears it on the walls. Uh, no thanks. I would like to keep the kids together but just am not up to that. And the two I have are wild and totally undisciplined ever after having them for 6 months.