[aunlanpo]

So, there's this really wonderful woman I've known for a bunch of years, and she's a foster mom (therapeautic foster home) with her husband and family. They've always had a ton of kids, mostly teenagers, and they adopted a boy when he was super young, like 3 or 4. He's actually in my youngest daughter's class in school. I've known this fmom and worked with her in youth ministry before, gave her a recommendation for her to work as a psychology teacher at a Christian high school, and have called her up for support and answers when we had a teen living with us with RAD/ODD/ADHD/Depression. I can't remember what brought it up, all I remember is her words that still ring through me even after a year, "I can't believe the cw did that, I mean this [foster care] is my job! It's how I make my money!!" *melodramatic ringing "it's my job....job....job....job....job"*

I'm not saying anything against her, but I am questioning the rightness of her thinking. Inside, it feels kinda like when you drive by a car wreck and think, "How tragic. That's so sad, and... shocking."

So, there are a lot of people on here, and I'm just wondering, how many of you do think of foster care as your job, as in the way you earn your living? Or how many of you have heard of this?

Aundrea

[DianeScraps]

No, I don't look at it as how I make my living, it's actually how I loose money! We went from two FT incomes, down to 1 FT and me working barely PT.

But I do know of stay at home moms, who do foster, and because they were already home with kids, there 'cost' for bringing in another kid isn't as great, and they say it helps a little, but that (money making) still isn't their goal - taking care of the kids is.

[merrymissy]

Our family would do this if there was no money involved at all. In fact, we have spent WAY more on our foster kids than we have ever received in stipends. We try to continue to provide assistance for the families even after the children have gone home. I can't imagine thinking of this crazy process in terms of dollars. I should also mention that both of us work out of the home full-time, so I'm not sure how that different things would be compared to work-at-home families. I have also had this experience with other foster parents I thought we might use like mentors, but there is something about those kind of comments that make all of their other words of wisdow seem hollow. I hope that I am not offending here. I realize that many of us could not do everything we needed to without the help financially. I think many others think of this a job because they are "working" to help out the county, state, society, etc. by providing for these children.

[hotspice58]

Havent' heard this but I know there WERE people who did it for the money (not sure if that's doable with all the restrictions and oversight). But if she has more than 4 or 5 kids and does what they need done, she can consider it her "job".

[vernellinnj]

foster care is a ministry. I spend far more than what I receive and I am grateful that I can. I can't see how anyone can do it "for the money" and be effective. Perhaps the children's needs would be met but I don't think they would get the love that they need. Just one person's humble opinion...

[stevenstwin]

I just had an encounter that shocked me, quite recently. There is a teacher's aide at the school I work at who is fostering one of our special ed. teens. I thought that I had found a kindred spirit, since the situation seemed so close to mine (I was teaching gr. 9 and ended up bringing home one of my students who needed fostering). So I asked her what brought her to the decision to take in "Chris". She said quite bluntly "The money is the only reason I do it." She went on to explain that she already has a second job and since her divorce she didn't want to give up her big house - so she decided to do this. She specicially requested a low-needs child (Chris is mildly autistic, but otherwise not to challengin) and he has home visits 2 weekends a month. This is through a private agency, and she gets $55.00 a day! Plus expenses! Wow - if we all got that much, maybe more would be doing it for the money. But it just makes me shake my head - she came in complaining the other day that they won't reimburse her for "willful property damage". Turns out that he put some posters up with the wrong kind of tape and ripped her wallpaper border. They offered her money for supplies and told her to have her and Chris fix it themselves togehter. She was furious that they wouldn't pay for someone to come in and do it, and she's still fighting them over it - even went to Chris' parents to ask for the money!

[aunlanpo]

Good grief...

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

I just had an encounter that shocked me, quite recently. There is a teacher's aide at the school I work at...!

[sunnyandi13]

Anyone who thinks they're doing foster care "for the money" is in for a big shock. Like many of the other posters, I've found that I spend more than what we are reimbursed. The only "extra" money I've ever fought for was an after school program for a truant teen that I needed to keep in school while I work.

As a really outgoing person, a lot of friends have talked to me about foster care. I think they see the joy I have with these kids, even through the heartaches... When they ask about "pay", the first thing I tell them is this:

"If you were asked to take in a child and they offered you no money, just the satisfaction of raising this child into a healthy productive adult, would you accept? If not, then please think long and hard about getting into foster care."

It's not a job - it's more of a calling, I think?

[madfostermomma]

I read almost everything I can get my hands on concerning foster care and read last year Memoirs of a Baby Stealer. The woman in the book talks about doing this as extra income and although she talks about her experiences as a special needs foster mother, she talked quite a bit about the money aspect. I still don't get this though. We figured this out one day and my "pay" comes to 1.06 an hour when you minus out the time the child spends in daycare and figure out the rest of the hours we caretake. That's not enough to provide for and sustain a gerbil let alone a child so I do not understand how anyone can be " making money" doing this.

[shy_bear]

We are in this to adopt so it is purely not about the money. But, when we lived in WA. we were in military housing, so we had no utility bills, rent, or day to day maintance expenses on our home. I was only taking little ones so I had almost everything I needed (car seat, clothing, toys) from my girls. We were getting diapers though a friend of my who was running a survey group, so all I had to do was fill our a survey once a month and we got free diapers. So we pretty much were able to save the whole amount we got. Don't get me wrong we bought things for the kids, went out with them, bought x-mas gifts for them. Did I look at this as my job, NO. Do I think they give families enough to cover day to day cost, most of the time no so I don't see how most people can make money off of this, ours was a unique situation.

[aunlanpo]

I had no idea people would do this for money... It seems like the kids would know it, somewhere inside, they would sense it... that just seems so sad to me.

[Jeanie1]

We haven't actually gotten kids yet and we're fostering to adopt. I'm a stay-at-home mom and we have one bio son. We are going to be TFP so I guess they do give a little more depending on the child's issues but even if they gave the minimum it seems like a ton of money for one child per month. We have never spent that much on our bio son in one month unless he had a bad illness and needed meds or something. He is happy, healthy, and the joy of our lives!

We won't be paying for daycare so I know that makes a huge difference but I can see why some people would see the money as a huge incentive--even if the kids were well taken care of. It is sad, because I think kids know in their gut when a person isn't caring for them out of compassion but out of duty but I can see how the money could be a big deal for some famililies.

We live in a modest (though large) home and do not intend to spend tons of money on a nice house or car so our expenses are kept lower because of that. Still though, I babysit FT for a little girl and make $25 per day, five days a week. That $500 per month means we get to go to the movies, put a little in savings, and take a vacation each year. So, I guess what I'm saying is that though I don't agree with the attitude, I can see how that money could seem like a big deal to some people.

I actually asked about this during classes because I can't imagine actually spending an extra 5 to 600 dollars per month more just because we were taking in another child. They said these kids are so eager to be in sports and go on family vacations and just do fun stuff that wasn't a part of their lives before that the money can be set aside for special things like that for them. So I guess we'll set up a special savings account to use so they can pursue whatever it is that they are good at (sports, art, music lessons) and maybe we'll take them to Disney. That is our plan! Of course, we want to keep them if possible so to us the money is a bonus. If we had been able to have more kids no one would have paid us to raise them and we would have gladly made the sacrifices necessary to have that big family the "natural way"!

I hope the original lady that had been FP for a while was just blowing off steam. After all, teenagers are difficult enough when they are yours, let alone someone else's child who comes with a ton of baggage! I know when I worked in daycare that was my job too but I loved those kids and would have done anything for them. Sometimes your job can also be the way you serve. Just something to think about...

[hubbyswife]

Doing it for the money--- what a joke!

We also spend MORE than we get reimbursed for. We love having kids around. Plus our goal is adoption.

We plan to do foster care for a long time. It's rewarding just to help the kids learn and develop and to see them grow so much. Just being a parent, that is really priceless. Especially when we thought we would never be a mommy or daddy. I love it!

[lostboys]

I think that foster care being your job and Fostering for the money are two different things. When a parent decides to be a Stay at home mom, thay take on that responsibility as a job. I know many stay at home moms would be very offended if you said they did not work or have a job. I think Foster care is a very difficult job for those who chose this for their lives. I work full time outside of the home and my DH works full time inside the home raising 6 theraputic foster sons. He also has his own consulting business that he fits around the boys schedules. I have to say that my DH is the hardest working man I know, and his job is one of the most important I can imagine. He left a 6 digit career to do this. So do we stock away money on foster care? NO, do we have enough to make a decent life with for the children with the per diem and our salaries? Yes.

Sorry, I think sometimes people are to quick to draw judgement on why people foster. If my husband stayed at his job, we would not have been able to do this ministry. But lets face it, it costs a lot of money to raise 6 teen boys and if it weren't for the per diem and the flexibility in my husbands job, we would not be able to do it. I think that those of you who can are blessed beyond belief, but I do believe that most foster parents need the per diem to help with expences.

[roselee]

Perhaps she forgot what she went into it for (unless it was the money - then that would be HORRIBLE). Maybe if you try to talk with her and let her know of your impression regarding "job". She is a Christian, right? She should take what you have to say. Perhaps she was just really frustrated...I don't know. I know after a while with anything (I am not a foster parent right now), you tend to look at your passion more like a job or you just go through the motions because you forget, get too busy, get overwhelemed, etc...


She seems like she has been doing it for so long that she really needs someone to remind her that she is in a ministry and her words are really bad...She really probably doesn't even realize it....I could be completely off base here.
Maybe she needs to take time off (like she will - ha ha) and reevaluate the real reasons why she started doing this in the first place...I bet it started out as a strong desire, calling and ministry.