[JaCC]

I posted a few weeks ago about my husband's cousin's 4 year old daughter that we wanted to adopt. 10 days ago, my brother-in-law went to where the mom was at and he called my husband and let him talk to her on the phone (he couldn't explain to us exactly how to get to where she was staying). So, he talked to her and she said that she couldn't go through that again and let my brother-in-law bring her to us anyways. She had on a 2 piece swim suit and had NOTHING else with her. She was dirty and had lice. Well, we took her and bought her clothes, treated the lice, etc... and she's doing pretty well. Having a few issues, but what can you expect after what she's been through. We've not heard a word from the mom in 10 days and really don't know where she's at. My husband is going to go looking for her this weekend, but I figure that she'll want "A" back and we'll have no choice but to let her go back to the suspected meth house. It's just a sad situation and I don't know what to do about it. "A" does cry sometimes for her mom, and then other times, she'll say she's going to live with us. It's a roller coaster. The sad thing is that the mom is the one will decide that. If she has to go back, we'll have no choice but to contact DHS considering all the stuff that she's told us (we've not asked, she's just told it all). One day I was cooking some beans and they started to burn and she asked what I was cooking and wanted to know if the house was going to blow up. I'm guessing (not certain) that she's been around some meth cooking. It's just such an odd situation b/c this mom says she can't live without her "baby" and lets us take her for 10 days and doesn't even call. The situation is stressing me out so bad not knowing what the outcome will be. Plus, I've had to take off some from work to keep her and my mom has helped us out by keeping her. If we had temp custody, we could at least put her in daycare and the job situation would be resolved. Any suggestions or words of advice on what to tell/ask the mom when/if my husband tracks her down? I don't want to send her back, but if her mom wants her, I can't break the law.

[ajrl]

I would document everything. I would have taken pictures and I would have called DFCS. I dont know if they would take the baby from you but if you have her file a complaint. Get on with it and be proactive. Enough fooling around w/ your sister and make the police come and file a report. As long as you are stable and you tell them you are willing to keep the girl then they shouldnt take her from you. Normally they have 72 hours to investigate.

If you arent going to really fight for her then let DFCS take her and say she was abandoned and let them then file a complaint against the birth parents. You would get more help on the foster board for this inquiry.

I am a foster parent but I am sure there are more that will know more than I do.

AJ

[JaCC]

Thanks. I will move it to the foster board forum. I have taken pictures and I have documented everything. We have called DHS prior to her coming to our house and we've gotten no help. It seems it takes a lot to prove the mom is an unfit parent. I've tried for a long time to get something done, but it seems practically impossible. Thanks for you advice.

[crick]

moving to foster care forum for you...

[momofmykids]

When you do contact DHS, be sure and let them know that you are willing to do whatever it takes to become an approved home. DHS loves to keep kids with their bio families!

[la vida loca]

I'm glad you came back to the forum. I've been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. Hang in there...every minute you are with this little girl has the potential to change her life for the better.

[vesw01]

Call and agency now, start the foster care process. Here in IL relative foster homes only need to take two classes to become licensed. If she hasn't come for the child or called it is abandonment......call and speak to a supervisor if you have to.