[AlekseiGirl]

Hello everyone! I haven't had a new placement since January, so here we go again! I'm getting an 11 month old boy tonight, he will be the oldest foster child I've had thus far. Any advice, tips, recommendations to ease his transition? To welcome him "home"? Any warnings?

I figure he probably still takes a bottle, but he'll be one in three weeks, so I'm thinking it might be better not to give him one at all. Then to give him one and take it away in a month or so. I bought him some transitional sippy cups with a soft spout. If he is used to a bottle it will be tough, because I have a baby in the house too. But, older kids with a bottle drive me nuts! BUT, I don't want to traumatize the poor kid, he's been through enough. Opinions?

He's coming from the hospital, he's been there since May 30. He ingested ecstacy and cocaine, and had to go through detox, poor little guy. I'm wondering if this is going to have any long term effects on him? Anyone experienced this before? I imagine he'll be pretty tired, he's had a tough week.

I look forward to your feedback! This board has been a lifesaver for me!

[mallory4]

Our son arrived at 14 months, but he was delayed so he wasn't much different than an 11 month old.

Our goal was to make things as familiar to him as we possibly could, and luckily for us, he came with quite a bit of his own stuff (bedding, toys, books) so he always had some familiar things around him, even though the people and place were new. He clearly took great comfort from having his blanket, his musical crib toy, etc. So, I would suggest that if your little one comes with things, let him have them around even if they are old, or ugly, or whatever. After a couple of months, I gradually got rid of the things I couldn't stand, once he had gotten used to everything here.

As R settled in, I found that a lot of the things said about him in his paperwork were quite out of date. For example, his paperwork said he couldn't pick things up and put them in his mouth, couldn't hold a bottle, etc., but he could.

He was still on a bottle and I kept giving him bottles, not only because it was familiar to him but because it makes for better bonding. I held the bottle even though he could. I swtiched him to a cup at 18 months and it was no problem. I even gave him baby food from jars, which I think is yucky and never gave my bio kids, because that was what he was used to. After a couple of months, I switched him over to all table food without a problem, but in the beginning he would gag if he had anything the least bit chunky, so I let have what was easy for him.

I think the good thing about your little guy arriving from a hospital will be that he has probably been on a pretty regular schedule and is used to things happening in a certain way. If you can find out how they have been doing things, that will probably go a long way toward making him relax.

R's previous foster mom was kind enough to write out not only his schedule but the songs she sang him at bedtime. I sang one to him the first time I met him and got the biggest smile!

R was very scared and stressed for a month or so after he arrived. He didn't cry much but did a lot of other weird stuff, wanted to sleep all the time and hit, bit, and scratched people. Now that he has been here a year we recognize that he was so stressed out, because we never see those behaviors except when he is terrified.

Good luck with your new addition

[twinflana]

I have received 2 foster children from the hospital. I would recommend GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO PICK HIM UP. I cant say that loud enough. You need to hear straight from the nurses what he is able to do what signs to watch for that mean he is getting worse etc. They also will tell you if he is used to a bottle or a sippy cup. If he is used to a bottle let him have it for the time being, he has been through a lot and switching him to a sippy is just one more added stress factor. It will probably be alot of trial and error the first few days but he will let you know what he does and doesnt like.


I was lucky with one of the boys the mom wrote out his whole daily schedule for me.

[AlekseiGirl]

Thank you for your replies. I will let him keep the bottle if it is an issue. We'll see.

Unfortunately, I can't pick him up from the hospital. He is from the same city I live in, but he was transferred to a hospital two hours away becuase of his situation. The worker that is bringing him is excellent. I've dealt with her before, and I have complete confidence in her ability to pass along information. She is one of the few that actually cares about the kids. Thank goodness.

I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks again!

[Txmom001]

I got my first two FD's together siblings 18 and 28 months. They were both still on bottles. I gave the 2yr old a sippy cup and it looked like she was trying to drink and I would notice that it didn't go down and she would still her sisters bottle so after a few weeks and things calmed down I put them both on the soft sippy cups.

[locoenlacabeza]

I agree with leaving him on the bottle if that is what he is used to. You don't want to add anymore stress to the poor bugger than neccessary.

I know what you mean about older kids being on bottles, but some kids are not as developmentally on target as others. If he is a bit behind then you may need to look at it from the age at which he is developmentally. Our first fd, came to us at 9 months but was more developmentally at a 3 mo old baby. At 1 yr, she was more like a 9 mo old. She still wasn't ready to completely break at 15 mos.
Just let him lead you, and show you where he is at.