[japit823]

We have had our 2 nephews (place with us 1/06 for the 3rd time now). This time we were aloud to place them in our school. We just had a conference with 7 1/2yr olds 1st grade teacher. She wants us to hold him back. She thinks part of the problem is all the school he missed last year. I didn't understand and questioned her. She got us copies of all report cards and showed us, he missed 29 days and was late 39 days from 9/04 - 6/05. These children were returned 9/04 and in the court order it states that they were to miss no school without medical documentation. I talked to the BOE, Superintendent and principal at old school. The school never recieved the court order. Principal said the school sent letters etc. but never took parents to court about truancy. The principal said that she didn't have the records, but for me to put a written request into my school to review the boys accumulative records. I did that yesterday and I get to see them today. She knew of the history as they were placed with us the second half of the prior school year. She said thier main concern for the boys was to make sure they came, got cleaned and fed. (But not take them to court or file a complaint knowing the history? http://fosterparents.com/phpBB2/imag...s/icon_eek.gif ) I called DYFS and informed them and all they said was get them a copy too! GRRRRRRRRR The principal said I may not be entitled to view some confidential things, I guess DYFS will have to get that for themselves, what a shame! I just can't believe this. They slipped through the system again. Wish me luck today.

[momofmykids]

OMG, this is so ridiculous. At the school where my kids go, they count MINUTES against you and they're only allowed 5 days all year unless they have a doctor's note. Wow, some real winners running that school that you're dealing with.

Hope all goes well for you today.

[gregorysparents]

Wishing you the best of luck in fighting for these kiddos.

Keep fighting!!!!

Christina

[ca-bigsister]

I am a Foster parent and a high school teacher. If possible, it might be a good idea to hold your nephew back. If he doesn't get the fundamentals, it will be really hard later. Maybe, though, he could be transferred to a new school that is better with attendance and then he wouldn't have the stigma with the other kids of being held back.

I wish that my FD's grandparents had held her back in kindergarten or first grade. Actually, the richer parents in West LA are holding students back so that they will be even more "ahead". My best friend is doing this with her bright son in kindergarten, so it's not a stigma the way it was when I was little and they wanted kids to skip grades.

[Singlemom619]

I"m an elementary school teacher - and I say unless there are some HUGE delays - some that are developmental/biological - don't hold him back.

They wanted to hold my son back in K and 1st grade. I refused (partly because of a friend who also taught and convinced me not to). My son has jumped an entire grade level so far THIS YEAR. He needed the stability and security in his life in order to concentrate on his academics. By the end of the year we all expect him to be completely in line with where he should be.

Imagine if we had held him back. Either he would have become bored very quickly (and they rarely have students skip grades) OR he wouldn't have been pushed to catch up and he wouldn't have ever made this much progress.

My son does have some developmental delays - more social skills and lack of exposure to academics until he was about 5 or 6 (like no ABC stuff at home and interaction ect) but look where he is now.

There is a lot of research that shows that kids who are slow to start reading all end up at the same place in the long run as those who start reading at a young age.

Pardon my typeing and not making sense - it's late and i'm on spring break still

[japit823]

He is not failing and he is in my school district since placement with special reading classes twice a week. He has no learning disabilities. The teacher said it isn't that he can't do the work, it is that he was never taught. Teacher has told us how drastically he has improved since being there (3 1/2 months). His grades for his report card were Reading 76 Language 77 Spelling 79 Math 95. He just got a 92 on his last spelling test. What she said is he missed what was taught to his class the first 4 months of year, which was short vowels. A friend of mine who is a teacher said that after he has made such strides and working hard to hold him back would be like a slap in the face. We are in the process of getting him a private tutor. We don't think we are going to hold him back. Does this sound resonable?

[swanzie]

I would not hold your fs back either. I have a fd who is also 7 and had gone thru kindergarden twice. When I got her she still didn't know her abc's not could she identify all of the letters. We worked hard over the summer at least an hour a day with all the letters and numbers (she could count up to 59 but had no idea that 29 was twenty nine!) So when september rolled around I got a call from the principal about wanting to test her and set up an IEP. I said for what? She is getting on track - she has already stayed back and there has been 100% improvement in the past 3 months. The principal got very angry with me and said due to past history we want to have this child tested I will send home the paperwork and hung up. Then the paperwork came home and I somehow misplaced it

Anyway the guidance councelor kept calling and I told her how can I fix 6 years of bad parenting in 4 months. Give us a chance and if you feel you must test her in the spring go ahead. I even called the teacher to see if K was improving or being a disruption in class or anything that would alarm her...again the principal got on the phone and wanted her tested before it was too late. I called my sw and she told me that I had to go along with what the social worker told me (found out later I didn't as a foster parent I am automatically the childs educational advocate in this state) Anyway after my conversation with the SW I signed the lost papers and they did there testing. I attended the review and everyone kept saying they couldn't believe the difference in this little one and that everything was going good and she is on track and even though she tested low 1st grade on some areas she basically has improved so much that there was no need for and IEP at this time. So at the end of the meeting I looked at the principal and said that is what I have been trying to tell you.

Mind you if the child was having a problem and wasn't grasping the stuff I was trying to teach her. I would have been first in line to get her all the extra help she needed.

This child for the first time in her life had a bed, a bed time and 3 square meals not to mention snacks and clothes to wear. She now could focus on learning and she even got student of the month in February. So there is hope. Just do what you think is best. Don't let anyone do anything you don't agree with.

I believe especially with little boys, if they are bored at school that is when you will have more trouble with them causing havoic in the classroom and end up being labeled...when all it was - was a case of the child being bored by going over the same stuff over and over and over again.

If you see the child improving by having a chance now with the stability of a new environment don't keep them back - work with the child to catch up with the others.

They have fun activity books at the dollar store that can help with the the vowel and their sounds. If you can just work with him from now until school starts up again and I bet he'll be right on track...regarless of what he has missed. When he gets to second grade they are going to review all the stuff they learned in 1st as they build upon their reading skills. Just play with the child. That is what I find was missing with our fd. We play word games all the time...especially in the car with signs and stuff and everyday on the ride to school I give her spelling quizzes of words she should know or have been on previous spelling tests.

Good luck!!

[Singlemom619]

I can tell you already know the right thing to do - DON'T hold him back

You're on the right track. If your child missed 4 months of short vowels - then your teacher needs to send him home with that work and you can work with him at home on it. He will pick it up even if you didn't teach it.

It's proven - when kids are worried about where they're living and if they will be eating today they will NOT focus on school... Once they realize they don't have to worry about all of that (which is NOT right when they're placed in a new home but after several months/years of being in a safe home) they'll focus on school and catch up.

[japit823]

We are not holding him back. We just got him a tutor who starts with him next week (instead of summer) He will get tutored 1 hour twice a week, (right after school) so it won't even require extra places to go!

[SheldeMuse]

Nice to hear that you asked questions, evaluated, and were able to make a comfortable decision. It sure seems like he will catch up.

Our daughter's school also dropped the ball when she missed 82 days of school between September and April. You would think the schools might figure out that such truancy in a 4th grader might be a sign of neglect.

She was placed with us early in 6th grade, and has struggled with some of the work. We kept in close touch with her teacher all year, because missing assignments and skipped homework were a big problem. She has really struggled with math, but she will advance with her classmates. She has some holes in her knowledge and her study skills are weak, but she is getting by and we plan to try just keeping on top of things as she starts Jr. High in the fall.

[ca-bigsister]

I totally disagree about holding kids back. When they come into middle and high school without the fundamentals, they are much more likely to drop out. I really think that we need to get over the social promotion idea. We don't socially promote in high school just because you show up. I am the foster mom to a child with learning disabilities. I think one year of review would have been great. I think though that the child should change schools so they are not taunted.

[japit823]

I spoke to reading specialist last week and asked her to give a reading evaluation to him before the end of school. She just called...........He passed with flying colors...100%....he is totally on grade level for the end of first grade! He came 1/4/06, on his last report card from before he came (11/19/05) he still wasn't reading at the end of Kindergarten level. So in 5 months he has done over 1 years worth of improvement, I would like to thank everyone for thier encouragement and advise ......now it is time to do my happy dance.

[~*Max*~]

Wonderful news!! You must be very proud of your little guy!

[ajrl]

Great that he's doing so well. My fd came to us w/attending only 31 days of school last year. She was not reading didnt know her abcs could only put together hard sounds and that was it.


They did put her in IEP (EIP) program here by my suggestion. She needed more attention. Her class size was only 12 children. The teacher was great.

The second week of school I enrolled her at Huntington Learning Center 2x's a week for 3 hours per day. She went from nothing to almost 1/2 1st grade reading level. It was the best thing I could have done for her. They started her off w/ praise at doing the littlest thing and worked her up to reading.

For the past 2 days she asked me if she could play a math game on the computer that I got her when she first got to me. It would take her hours to do 1 "game", she is so happy she has gotten through to the 6th level in 2 days. I told her see how much you have improved.

Also, for Passover we all read out of a prayer book. (haggadah) It tells the story of Moses. We go around the table and everyone gets a page to read. Well, I gave her a page and when she first got to me it would have taken her hours to read one sentence, She read the whole page in minutes and was so excited she wanted to keep going. These are the things that are so special. It makes me proud to be doing foster care.

Glad you are taking the time that he needs to get caught up.

AJ

[SquirlyGirl]

I have to respectfully disagree. I think it is an individual thing, especially when they are young. If they have C's, but are being held back for missing days I think it is senseless. He can obviously learn. Rather than holding him back I think you should get a tutor and work with him yourself over the summer. If next year he is still having problems he is young enough to be held back then.

My oldest had problems in K, 1st, and 2nd grade. They wanted to hold her back each year and I fought not to. In 2nd grade she was diagnosed with ADHD and through medication (definately not the teachers help the teacher was completely not understanding or willing to make minor changes in the class room for her) She went from Ds to straight A's and kept it up until she reached 7th grade. Again the school thought it was more important to teach her to be more responsible and make her grow up, than to work with her and set up an IEP (It took me almost an entire semester to get the teachers and councilor to sit down with me and then the teacher who we were having the problems with didn't invite the councilor) and wanted to hold her back. That time I pulled her out and home schooled her for a semester before putting her back in school. It wasn't that she couldn't do the work or wasn't learning, she was having problems dealing with change. ADHD kids don't do well with a lot of change. She kept leaving her homework in her locker, and being smaller than all the other kids especially the huge boy who had the locker above hers she couldn't get to her locker half the time to get her homework. The teacher we had the most problem with wouldn't even listen to that as an excuse. Wouldn't be even listen when I told her that my daughter couldn't work the combiniation half the time (she missed the school bus home at least once because she was fighting with her locker). When she went back to school in 8th grade she no longer had the locker problems and her grades went back up to A's and B's. BTW she scored in the above average level on everything in the national tests at the end of 7th grade, and in the 95 percentile on science which is rare for girls. Her 8th grade school looked at the test and didn't even ask to test her before putting her in the 8th grade.

Sorry so long.