[stevenstwin]

You might have read my earlier post about getting my 15 y.o. foster son to agree to counselling. Basically, he finally said "yes" , but that it HAD to be with a certain man (Keir) who had counselled him 5 years ago. I pitched it to Keir, who has been promoted to a regional educationa consultant and does NOT do private counselling anymore, but he said he'd do it!! I was pretty excited and thought this was an awesome step. WEELLL...I just spoke to the caseworker, and she's not excited. Although she'd initially told me that he should have a free choice in who would counsel him, she's now saying that it should only be someone contracted by the department. Her BIGGER reason is that Keir is more focused on behavioural strategies (expert in severe behaviour disorders, which is the purpose he was seeing A. for last time) and NOT the kind of issues-based therapy A really needs. She suggested some other people who'd have a better match in terms of training and experience, and I so totally DO see her point on this, but A. was SO adamant about "Keir or nothing" that I really, really think he'll turn tail and run if we try to get him to see someone else instead. So my choices are:
- have him keep seeing Keir permanently (Caseworker will allow it - grudgingly - but I'd have to pay out of pocket)
- attempt to convince him right now that he needs to see someone else
- Let him start with Keir, and hopefull Keir can help me transition him to someone else.

[Bailey071097]

I would recommend talking to Keir and seeing if he can help with convincing your FS to see someone else.

[hotspice58]

Absolutely keep Keir in the beginning. Keir may see where fs needs someone with a different specialty.

[twinflana]

Have you talked to Keir about working out a way that you wont have to pay out of pocket. I have learned that rules can always be broken. Like the others said I would definately start with the one your fs trusts.

[stevenstwin]

Yes, I think we can even get him paid through the school. She's shaken my confidnece though - making me think that he isn't he "right" match and won't be able to do any good for A. But I keep reminding myself that he DOES work for mental health, even if he isn't quite the right specialty. It's not like I'm sending the kid to a tarot card reader or something!

[lovemy6]

Originally Posted by stevenstwin

Yes, I think we can even get him paid through the school. She's shaken my confidnece though - making me think that he isn't he "right" match and won't be able to do any good for A. But I keep reminding myself that he DOES work for mental health, even if he isn't quite the right specialty. It's not like I'm sending the kid to a tarot card reader or something!

He's already established a therapeutic relationship with your child, which will save a lot of time, plus he knows your child's history and what worked before which will save a lot of energy. I say go with him! If social worker doesn't like it, tough beans. Will he take medicaid or will the money have to be FAPT'd?

[stevenstwin]

We're in Canada, so we have different programs. Our school social worker tells me that we can get it covered through the school, though, as long as Keir also gives us some "educational consulting" strategies on dealing with his behaviour disorders. NOT what he'll be focussing on with A. but just to make sure it is covered. We SHOULD have had that months ago, anyway! None of the teachers here (I'm one of them) have any experience in dealing with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and he's driven his Teacher's Aide to the brink of a nervous breakdown ;-) Now, he's ALSO willing to go with me to see the Family Counsellor Ibut only with me) who works with our school board, and has all the right credentials, experience, and background. The caseworker doesn't like THAT either, since she isn't one of their contracted providers! I'm so frustrated because she initially told me he could choose, and now she wants to just arbitrarily assign someone. She did finally agree to cover SOME visits with the family counselor under the theory that it might avoid a potential placement disruption.

[mossy2]

I'm so sorry you have to jump through hoops. The caseworker has put you in a hard position. I feel as the others do that if he is agreeing to go to Keir, start there. My FD started with someone she trusted, and agreed to switch at the recommendation of the therapist. The truth is she didn't like any therapist on any given day; her opinions changed.

I don't quite understand why the caseworker feels this is a bad match since the extreme behavior disorder is his area of expertice. At any rate, your instincts sound very good and you are very consciencious so whatever you decide to do will be a good choice.

The therapist I switched my fd to (this is the third one she's seen, not counting the therapy group she attended post psychiatric hospital stay) specializes in attachment issues. I am so fortunate that she offered to see us free of charge when the insurance wouldn't cover her fees. She is a gem.