[roomformore]

Our worker was just here for a visit and she stated that we will have to fill out monthly forms to show how we are spending the money on the kids. Fine. But I have not kept receipts for things other than clothes-they came with what they had on and S had two extra outfits. I still have not even gotten our initial clothing allowance and have been having to buy everything needed for two toddlers under age three- toddler bed, crib, everything. So the worker says everything has to go with them when they go home. A lot of this stuff I figured I could reuse. I mean do I have to send the crib and bed? I figured I would send all their clothes and most of the toys with them. What does everyone else do? We have been saving their allowance and the worker said before they would leave it could be used for things they might needw before going home or to buy the parents groceries??!!!! What???!!! I could not beleive it. I mean if they still cannot afford groceries the kids should not go home. This is still a ways down the road for us because the parents have not even started their caseplan I guess but just want to know what to do when the time comes.

[AmyAnne]

I would not send the furniture. I would explain you bought that for your home. Any personal effects, such as clothing or toys, I'd go ahead and send. But furniture? No. they should have that if they're going to get the children back. I would also make a list of everything you will be sending "10 pairs of shorts size 2T" or whatever so there's no confusion.

[MBelt8402]

I agree with Amy. I would not send furniture. (Unless DCW reimbersed you specifically for the crib and bed.) You bought that for your use, and home. They should have those things for their children anyway.

[mab_123]

I to agree that they should have the furniture and nessesities for that. I would though send the cloths and any toys they might have.

[TexasJingles]

Do they (or have they) paid you for any mileage that you've done? Doctor, visits, going to the store to buy all the stuff, and more? And don't forget that you can include a portion of your rent/mortgage and utilities.

I bet once you add it all up, you'll find that you've paid far more than what you think (and get) ...without having to include the beds.

We don't get an "allowance" for the child to spend here, so I don't know what the rules are for those (the toys?).

I'm sure there are a LOT more people around here with better advice, so hang in there!

[momofmykids]

In TN, if DCS gives you money specifically for a bed, the you have to send it. If not, it's yours. The parents should have a bed for them. If not and if they can't buy groceries, why are they sending them home?

I wouldn't send ALL the clothes and like pp stated, you've spent WAY more than the state has paid you...I'd bet the farm on it!

[msdoie]

In GA, we just send what we have been reimbursed for or what they came with. If we bought anything with our own money it stays at our house... unless of course you choose to send it.

[jstodd01]

I'm on Kentucky and I agree with every one. Send toys and clothes. We weren't told at the begining that we had to keep track of what we spent and also that we were rquired to spend a specofic amount on each child. For us 3 and under $25 a month So now I keep all recites that IHave clothes on them. At the end of a month I get out the paperwork and fill it out. I also have a seperate File box for foster care. It has A to Z and Jan. thru Dec. It has been a god send to me to keep things organized. good luck.

[Tamlynn]

Here if you bought it out of your pocket, and not with a department voucher, then it's YOURS. Beds, clothes, toys, you name it. Your cash bought it, you keep it. They leave it to the discretion of the foster parents to determine of there is something of particular sentimental value that you purchased--to be sent home with the child. So basically, we coughed up serious cash to set these kids up with us and every last bit of it STAYS. If it was a big ticket item the kid needed, and would likely need when they went home (car seat) then we requested a voucher. Parents reimburse the department for all vouchers used via "child support" payments. Technically I could have requested vouchers for practically a new wardrobe for these kids (which naturally would have gone home with them) but it would have to come out of the bp paychecks. Luckily they came with plenty of clothes (though a bit too small for the baby) and anything I've determined they needed (bigger clothes, new shoes, favorite toys) the parents bring to visitations.


But I know I've had it pretty easy this go around. . .the boys are going home (to Grandma--NOT parents) this week so who knows what I'll be thinking this time next week.

[roomformore]

Yeah we have spent tons on these two already. They came with the clothes they had on. So two complete wardrobes for two kids-one didnt even come with shoes just boots. Plus diapers for two because neither was trained. I would not be grumpy about it if I could just get them to reimburse the initial clothing allowance and we have been told we probably will not be getting a seaonal clothing allowance come spring/summer. I just feel like we are on are own basically. No wonder not more people foster. You have to be rich. Its all about the convenience for the "parents" when I show up for visits. Basically foster parents get little support or appreciation in our neck of the woods. We decided to do fostering because we felt called to do so ................just fed up with all the crap that goes with it I guess.

[leaabc123]

As others have said, unless you were reimbursed for them. Everything does not go. Car seats, cribs, beds, high chairs, large toys, etc.

Pack up the things that they came with as well as the clothes you were reimbursed for. Send toys and copies of photos you have taken.

We don't have ay rules regarding allowances but we do put change in our kids' piggy banks. If they were to leave, we would cash the change in and allow them to buy soemthing from the toystore. I would not send cash home with a foster child (unless the child were a teenager and had a job). It is not the foster parent's job or the child's responsibility to make sure mom and dad have money for groceries.

[wish41more]

We get a check at the first of the month and I just put it in our family acct. All during the month I but whatever is needed. Clothes, shoes, diapers, wipes, toys, etc........Do they really expect you to add everything up and if so would you go as far to add food and meals out? It's crazy! I spend WAAAY more than the money I get! I could never sit down and write up a list bc I just buy as I go! The same as I do for my bio son.

[Karma]

Regardless of whether you were reimbursed for clothes or not, why wouldn't you send the clothes and some toys with the child. Or at least some of the clothes. These are children you agree to take care of regarding needs, nurture. Just because the court system states the birthparents can have their children in their custody again, are the children to suffer because of that decision re only going home with the items they brought with them when they came into your home?
I agree big ticket items, unless reimbursed, should remain in your home for the next child(ren).

Karma

[bjhv5]

When our first placement went came they had nothing,when they left they had 2bags (carry on suitcases) full of clothes and shoes.They were only here for 2 months!! LOL so if any of these go home I cant imagine what we will have to pack.I do know that I will not send my carseats or my crib,toddler bed etc. We paid for them as well as my bottles,I bought them before we had the baby placed with us, bmom wont even feed her when they go to visitation( I do not think she knows how to use them the are the playtex nursers).

We are getting our spring clothing allowence for the kids this month and if they go home in May then i will send all the clothes I buy with it.I will not let the kids take home thier allowence as they spend it when they get it.
I agree with Wishing,I just buy for them as and when needed like with my bio's.

I will send the toys we get for them while they are here but not the ones I buy for everyone( my home like the kitchen set etc.)

[roomformore]

Karma: Of course I will send all clothes and tons of toys. They would have tons of boxes with just what I have bought so far and we have only had them two months. I was just concerned about things like car seats, crib, a few start up toys in case we get another this age range. It just threw me when are worker said everything goes home with them. And yes I do spend more than we receive I am sure.