[AmyAnne]

Well, looks like Part 3 got buried, so I'll start a new one!

How was everyone's weekend? Our was not all that good. Between DH's jaw surgery, and Austin's attention-seeking behavior all week long, I was at my wits end on Saturday and finally lost my temper.

DH promptly put Austin to bed immediately, which was a mistake because we know that triggers a tantrum. (What we need to do is send him to his room and say "You will have 30 minutes of quiet time, I'll be up to turn your light off at 8:00" or whatever)

So Austin had a rip roaring tantrum where he would not stop pummelling the walls and hollering.It went on forever. He attempted to bite, hair pull and head-butt me when I restrained him. We had to call the police. He was fine while they were here, and then started up again the MOMENT they left. It was a nightmare. I guess we're going to have to talk to the psychiatrist about this and see if we can give him a tranquilizer if this happens again. I hate to do it but if it's me reach my breaking point and smack him or I give him the tranquilizer, I'll happily go with the medication. The police spelled out our options in this county: The police can come talk to him (did no good) We can drive him to the ER (again, no good. He won't tantrum AT the ER and anyhow, he wants attention so that's playing into his scheme) We can spank him, or we can talk to his Psychiatrist about having medication on hand here to give him, should this happen again.

Yesterday, I could tell he felt awful. He kept volunteering to do chores. DH was still pretty peeved at Austin, so I took Austin out to McDonald's for lunch, and we talked in the car on the way here. By the time we got back , DH was calm enough to have a conversation with him as well. Usually, after a bad tantrum, we have 4-8 weeks of calm. So I'm hoping this is it for awhile. We see the Psych. and the Attachment Therapist both on Weds.

First day of spring today and there's SNOW in the forecast here tomorrow!!

[LadyBugz]

What a weekend for you! Wednesday can't come soon enough, huh? (Hi! I was lost in the length of Chit Chat 3, so I'm jumping in here. Seems like a good transition point. Hope you don't mind.) Here's to hoping the peace lasts even longer than usual this time.

[AmyAnne]

It seems every tantrum's a learning experience. I can track where all three of us went wrong, and thus contributed to Austin having a tantrum. I think the blame falls equally on all three of us for this one.

[Kate1129]

Not much happening around here. We're getting more snow. Good moisture, but it makes my floors a mess!

Amy, sorry to hear about Austin's fit. You are one strong woman!!!!

[shycar]

Well part two got to long. Lol we all have been busy.

AmyAnne-Im sorry you had a tough weekend. I know how draining and helpless one feels when these kind of tantrums occur. Yup first day of spring and we woke up to lots of snow. Its been snowing all day and will prob till sometime tonight.

Well court for baby M was last thur. She is still with us yeah. I got a copy of the report and I guess visits have not been going well. B-mom really needs training. I hope someone will teach her things. Baby M starts breathing therapy this week. And also physical therapy. Two more things to add to my already super busy schedule.

Well it looks like there might be a home for the girls. I met with the girls sw and the family interested. We talked about the girls. They seem nice and have adopted foster child before so they have experience. The girls will be the youngest. Then they have their 7 yr old adopted son and two teenage b-children. The only sad thing is they live very very very far. So I probably wont be seeing the girls often. She works for the school so she has same time off as the kids. They live in a very small town. I think they are a good match. I hope things work out. I pray that they are the perfect family for the girls. They do seem nice.

Boy J has been driving me up the wall. He is all boy. Somedays I feel my hair graying becouse of the things he does and says. I swear we are going to end up at the hospital for broken bones from his stunts. The hospital is going to know us by name. Im not use to sooo much energy from a boy. In my family the boys are quiet and very calm and the girls are the ones that are wild and hyper. He is full of energy. I sure love him, but my goodness I feel all I do is run after him to make sure he does not break his neck. We are getting close to adoption. I can not wait. Time is moving sooo slowly.

Well I hope everybody had a very very good weekend.
Shycar

[Kate1129]

Shy,

I hear ya, fd is 2 and into climbing then jumping off anything she can get on! I am so tired of chasing her. Oh the joys of toddlerhood!!

Once again we got more snow. I am so so so ready for spring! The kids are full of cabin fever and I am going stir crazy!

[TexasJingles]

Don't want to rub it in ... but our Spring is pretty great! A bit cold with the wind, but sunny after the frontal storms came through. I'll keep it though! We had some really HOT days a week or so ago! In the 80's???? A/C one day (or week) and back to heat...right now, just an open window.

Ah, but you guys up North will be nice and pleasant when we are sweating to death during the summer. You can rub it in then!

We're doing ok. C has been telling us all the "wrong" things bmom did (guys, drugs, you name it), so I guess she's finally out of denial.

T on the other hand is in denial (gets mad when C or J talk "bad" about bmom... "Mom didn't do anything wrong!"). He was the one that told us all the things when he 1st got here.

Well, they all work things out in their own time don't they! At least he's starting to come around and say "I love you" and seems like he's starting to really mean it! YEA!!

No tantrums to report (it quickly comes and goes, no major damage or holds required). I'm just enjoying the good times (because I never know when it's all going to start again).

[AmyAnne]

We've been to the psychiatrist this morning. We were given a medication "in case of uncontrollable tantruming" that will essentially make Austin go to sleep. I am hoping we never have to use it, but as I said before, if the options are lose my temper entirely and smack him or give him the medicine, I'll be first in line at the pharmacy counter.

I think this will be our last appointment with the attachment therapist this afternoon. She has been worth her weight in gold with the "Attachment" part, which seems to be complete. Honestly, nothing she could've told us to say or do would've prevented the tantrum on Saturday, and he seems stable, attachment wise now... we know how to deal with him. What he needs now is to start discussing his past, and he's told me (and demonstrated by actions) that he is far more comfortable with the psychiatrist than the attachment therapist in talking about past traumas. She has gotten more out of him in 4 sessions than we have in attachment therapy (regarding his past) in a year. But I think that what is said about attachment therapy is totally correct... he's been going to therapists and psychiatrists for years and never opened up. I think the attachment therapy had to take place before anything else could be addressed. I've actually been getting calls from new foster parents in our agency asking for more info on the therapist and I always tell them the same thing, which is make an appointment with her TODAY!

The icing on the cake is that a letter came home from school yesterday... the school is having a play performed on Friday about the prevention of sexual abuse. There will be 2 versions of the play... one for K-2 and one for grades 3-5 (which is Austin). He was abused in the past, and is just opening up on the topic. After a lot of deliberation, I've decided he will go to the play. (We were sent the letter so if we did not want our children attending, we could notify the teacher, who would send them to a study hall). Since it took Austin 4 years to talk about the abuse, I figure not allowing him to attend, and treating it like a taboo is not the way to go. Instead, he will attend the play and I will also go. He's already asked if he can sit with me instead of his classmates. I dashed off an email to his teacher and asked her to allow this, as well as telling her the play "may bring up some dormant memories" and to be prepared if Austin was not on his best behavior that day, especially leading up to the play. They're seeing it at the very end of the day, so I'll probably take him directly to the car when it's over, and spare the teacher the mess of dealing with him at dismissal. Especially since I think it'd be a bad idea to separate him from me after the play.

Things seem to be calming down here. Thank God.

[lakin11]

Amy, sounds like a good plan! Do you know if they are planning a discussion about it in class? I know sometimes when I was teaching, the company doing the play about such serious topics would have stuff to discuss before and after. You might ask the teacher about that too and know what might be shared in the classroom as well. Might also give you an idea of what you can prepare yourself at home for.
Glad things are calming down there!
Shannon

[TexasJingles]

I knew if I posted about great weather someone would send us some other kind of weather! Ok! Who sent the really cold weather! Huh! Come on! We're now 20 degrees lower than normal around here. And we're going camping tonight! (low of 38 expected!). brrrrrrr

Well, C turned 10 today. She's growing up too fast! I keep telling her I haven't had her long enough for her to grow up like this! Oh well!

Take care everyone...and stop sending the cold weather!

[missw005]

Sheesh, what a week! Poor Q got Scarlet Fever , a disease I mistakenly thought had been eradicated, and has been covered in a nasty rash head to toe. Turns out a bunch of kids from his preschool got bad cases of strep throat, which can lead to a mild case of scarlet fever, but not Q. Oh, no. My boy ONLY got Scarlet Fever. No strep throat, no fever, just this scary looking rash that made his skin feel like someone had scrubbed him with gritty sandpaper. And of course it's really bad in his privates, the poor thing. Now that he's getting better, it's peeling.

He came barreling out of the bathroom the other day, screaming, "Mom! Mom! My penis is coming off!!!" I tried to explain the process of skin peeling without laughing hysterically, but at 4 he doesn't really get it.
The next day J happens to be in there with Q and J comes out screaming, "Mom! Q is turning WHITE!!!" (the boys are AA) Again I tried to explain peeling skin and dead skin, but they're both really weirded out about it.

Of course, a few days later both J and I came down with sore throats.........Yah, we have strep throat. Ugh. At least the doctor figured that would happen and just let us get antibiotics without having to come in for a strep test. Yesterday the school sent a letter home with all the kids saying that strep throat is rampant and for parents to get their kids (and themselves) checked. Sheesh!

I didn't get called to teach today (I'm a sub), which is fortuitous as I'm still in the planning stages of J's 7th Justice League/Superhero Birthday party that is TOMORROW!!! I've got the food, ordered the cake, have stuff for goody bags, um, balloons? But need to work on superhero-themed party games. Anybody have any great ideas??? Unfortunately we are hours away from a party store where I could get masks or capes or whatnot that the kids could decorate. And I'm just NOT artistic enough to make 'em by hand.
So any superhero game ideas would be greatly appreciated!!!

On top of all this, my mother's surprise 70th birthday party is Monday night. I got a sitter, but will have to leave the party early as it is a school night and I KNOW what will happen. The boys will get out of control at bedtime (has happened many times) and it's a school night, so..........I'm sure it'll be fine. Besides, all her cronies will be well liquored up by then so I'm sure she'll have a fantastic time whether I stay 'til the end or not.

I had my foster care relicensing meeting this week. It went well, I really like my worker, I only wish she was my adoption worker!!! She said placements will be even less (I only had 2 last year!) this year as the county/state is really pushing relative placements First and Foremost. I thought about forgetting it altogether, but............ if, no, WHEN, I get my 3rd child, many other states require a foster home license for out of state placements. Yah........and this week it's 2 years - YEARS!!! - that I've been searching for my 3rd child. Don't get me started on how depressing THAT is.

J's tantrums have been increasing, especially in the morning on the way to daycare and when we get home after school. I'm doing a lot better with not getting sucked into it, you know, before you know it you're screaming at him as he screams at you? I just try to ignore him and continue doing whatever while he screams in his room. It's hard, though, and I'm not sure it's really working. Though I guess they're not as long as they used to be. At least he hasn't destroyed anything (ie., his alarm clock, the walls - they have several dents and small holes as it is 100 yr. old plaster - , his plastic drawers underneath his bed, the door, etc.) the last few times, so I am thankful for that.

Q is still struggling with lying and talking back, which really bothers me as he's usually the best behaved one!!!

Otherwise my big goal is to just get through this strep throat business and make it through the party weekend!!!

Anybody doing anything FUN???????

Sandy

OH!!!! Does anybody have any great brunch recipes? The family party (for J and my mom) is Sunday at my house. I have a great blueberry stuffed french toast, bacon, fruit, and muffins or coffee cake, but does anybody have a great egg dish? Not with too many vegetables, though, my brother's kids DO NOT EAT them. (don't ask! )
Thanks!!!!

[jstodd01]

missw005, I have never been part of the chit chat but I think I may be able to help on the party thing. If you have an old white sheet you could cut it into small capes and just punch holes to put string or yarn in to tie them and also if you have construction paper you could let them make their own masks with string and crayons. youcan also, if you have any markers let them draw on their capes. This way they can come up with their own super heros. That is something they can take home also. Good luck and have fun

[AmyAnne]

Well for those not following my other thread, Austin managed to get himself suspended from school for the next 5 days.

Guess who's having the busywork marathon at the kitchen table during school hours? Oh I have math worksheets, reading comprehension, word searches, I've assigned a 2 page report on the state of Virginia, and several drawing assignments, as well as notes of apology to all wronged parties.

[b4truth]

AmyAnne,

did you ever get to the play? or did his suspension prevent that?
my heart goes out to you. you must be a very very special person to handle everything!!!
good luck to all three of you!!!

[AmyAnne]

Originally Posted by b4truth

AmyAnne,

did you ever get to the play? or did his suspension prevent that?
my heart goes out to you. you must be a very very special person to handle everything!!!
good luck to all three of you!!!

Nope. That would've been today. Instead, he's parked at the kitchen table doing the Word Search That Ate New York and a ton of math problems and reading assignments.