[msdoie]

I'm sorry I offended all of you. I shouldn't have said anything and I truly apologize for my statements. I was having a bad day. The grandma of the foster baby we are keeping had made that statement about not wanting her to go in the foster care system and it just struck me hard. I really am sorry for everything I said.

I totally understand everything you said and I feel like a whooped puppy... Please forgive me!

[TexasJingles]

Quoted from various posts by Candice:

“I Was Just Living My Life When This Fell Into My Lap And I Am Not Ashamed To Say That Sometimes I Resent It.”

“Even though they are family I was not close to them or new much about there lives.
I couldn't see this kid going to strangers so I said she could come here for what I was told would be around 3 months.”

“I Take Good Care Of Her And Am Very Kind To Her But There Is No Love There.”

“I feel terrible that I am not thrilled with the situation. How can I send my brothers grandchild into the foster system.”

“your {own} children should come first.”

“Maybe you should think before you type. I have been in foster care as a child. I am sure I know 100% more then you what these children are going through. You need to get off your high horse. Either that or get the chip off your shoulder.”

I believe I already stated that perhaps I read it wrong or felt it wrong. I’ve already apologized for being too blunt in my 1st post.

However, there you go again. Just because YOU’VE been a foster child, you know more than me? I’m the one on my high horse? You don’t know anything about my life, or how I grew up. And I’m not about to get into a debate with you about who’s life was more dysfunctional.

What I will state is this, again: This girl KNOWS you don’t love her. No one has to tell her…she can see right through you. She didn’t ask for this. She most likely didn’t even have a say in whether she came to you or not. After all, you were a stranger to her. For all your “I take good care of her” you’re NOT taking care of her most fundamental need… to be loved. When infants are in this atmosphere, they become “failure to thrive”. What about this girl?

“I would have to get some serious counceling before making a decision.”

Thank you for being honest. I realize that you probably didn’t have the preparation that us “foster” parents did. It’s a tough job, for all of us, and I can see where it is tougher for those unprepared. You probably also don’t have supports that we have either. That’s really tough. Thank you for being loyal to your brother. I wish you and this girl the best.

[dadfor2]

hi guys,

just to chime in. I do understand where texas is coming from also.

first id like to say that all foster homes arent all horrible. My younger boy came from a very loving foster home and i have met some lovely wonderful foster moms.

so i guess i just want to put that out there, however, the foster home does not replace birthfamily.

however, I also agree that if a birth family members cannot love and bond with the child, the child needs to find a loving home where the parents can bond to the child. One of the important things for children to grow and thrive is to be in a loving home.

If the child does not grow up in a loving home, then the childs self-estemm can be in jepordy.

i understand how canice got into the situation, but i also 'think' that canice is in a situation that she didnt ask for and not sure what direction to go into.

if she truly doesnt love this child and doesnt ever see her loving this child, then i agree that the best thing for the child is to find a family that could love and bond with the child.

but how this child ended up with canice, i am not surprised that she hasnt 'bonded' with the child, but will she bond once all the drama goes?

that no one can answer but canice. And if the answer is no, i would be saying its time to move the child, but if its a 'maybe' then i would say give it time.

but no one hear really knows but canice.

but i didnt get anything like 'better then you' from canice at all. even with the quotes texas, i dont see it.

but i do hear you, and i have always respected your opinion even in this situation.

This girl KNOWS you don’t love her. No one has to tell her…she can see right through you.

i do agree and thats why canice needs to probably seek out professional consult on this situation, because personally im still not convinced she doesnt have any feelings for the child and thats what is making her decision so much hard.

[anita hawk]

I am fighting tooth and nail to adopt my 2 nieces that are in foster care!!I have not seen them for 4 years,but want them with all my heart,if you do not feel that you can be "MOM" to your niece than tell the state so she can be placed with someone that wants her....after all this is all about what is best for the child!!!