[GingerR]

Well after 2 1/2 months, we finally got a TPR ruling on Wednesday for our fs. We're happy -- his siblings have been in foster care for over 2 years, and they, as well as he, deserve stability.

My question is pertaining to how it proceeds when siblings are involved, since this kind of situation is new to us.

The cw and GAL both said they will recommend he be adopted by us. He's been with us since birth, and has never met his sisters. They, however, have always been together and so they will try to keep them together. And since there are 4, that goal is going to be hard enough without also throwing our fs into the mix.

What I'm curious about is this. Will they go ahead and proceed with the adoption of our fs, or will they wait until everyone is situated before moving forward? It's my understanding that a permanency plan will be presented, but since he is settled and the siblings are not, I'm not sure what that means for him and for us as far as waiting around.

I've perused the statutes but can't find anything pertaining specifically to this, so any experienced input is greatly appreciated! If it makes a difference, I'm in Florida.

Thank you!
Ginger

[skirbo]

Florida will split up siblings and let them be adopted separately. If the goal is for you to adopt your foster son and for the four girls to be adopted together elsewhere, you should be allowed to proceed with adoption. As long as they aren't requiring the five to be adopted together, you shouldn't be held up.

Good luck,
Sarah

[Withay]

Ginger -

First, please understand that I do not wish to dampen your enthusiasm at all.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Long story short, my fs who had been placed with me at the age of 2 days was adopted by one of the families that had some, not all of his half-sibs. The half-sibs were all full-sibs to each other, and had been split into two homes (there were 5). None, I repeat none, of the half-sibs knew that my fs existed. They had never heard of him, nor seen him. In fact, none of them knew that bio-mom was even pregnant with him. The reason for taking him from the only home he had ever known (he was 3 weeks shy of his 1st birthday) was that "a potential relationship with his half-sibs was more important than the bonding and attachment he had with me and my extended family".

That said, I would recommend that you research the article by Regina Kupecky entitled Womb Mates: When Sibling Rights & Child-Parent Attachment Clash.

I only wish I had known about this article before my fs had to go through being taken from the only family he had ever known.

[GingerR]

Ugh, withay... I am so sorry to hear that happened. They absolutely SHOULD take into consideration whether a bond already exists. Sibs who have already formed an attachment should be together (if it's safe) but breaking a bond to establish one just seems so bass-ackwards to me.

Did your cw and GAL recommend otherwise? I'm hoping their recommendation will weigh heavily in our favor.

Thank you for the feedback too, skirbo. That's exactly what I was wondering... if hopefully we can proceed. Like most foster adopt parents, we're anxious for it to.

[straightblues]

I would recommend getting an attorney to represent you. The social workers seem to think the laws allow to act in several different ways. I think you need someone with a firm understanding of what the law holding the social workers and the county accountable for thier actions. If it were me, I couln't just sit back and wait for some social worker to decide. I would have to get proactive with an attorney. If you go with an attorney, get one who is active in this particular area of the law who practices in these courts weekely.