[Forever_family]

I had two calls today for placements! One they knew would be temporary a 5, 4, and 1 1/2 year old set of siblings who had been left home alone. I told her I would think about it. I tried to call her back and let her know I would do it but last resort (I really don't have the room or beds for 3) if they could not find a home and only temporary.

Then I got a call for a newborn baby girl being released from the hospital today. This may be temporary or it may be a long term placment. They are trying to find family to take the baby but I'm happy to keep myself busy with another baby.

I've got to run and get things ready.

Have to add that I am still sad about the baby that went home. I really miss her.

L

[echobunny89]

God works in mysterious ways!


Good luck to you and the new baby. Do you hope it will be a long term placement?

[Forever_family]

Baby girl won't be coming today because they didn't get the court order in time but should be coming first thing tomorrow morning.

I don't dare hope for a long term placement. OUr motivation is to help children but I desperatly want to adopt. I spoke with the worker and this does not sound as if it will be a long term placement. A cousin is very interested in the baby so....here we go again preparing for the heart break already. I almost said "no" when I found out. They don't have a single home that is certified and will take a newborn and here I am with empty arms. I said a little prayer and felt good about it so here we go again. This really is a rollercoaster ride!

The baby was born December 24th at 32 weeks. Mom is "nuts" and has drug problems. That is about all I know about the mom, other then she has no home and has been living in the hospital refuses to speak with the social worker and thinks she is taking the baby home. Grandma has 4 of her children and can't take another baby. Baby was 3 pounds at birth. The worker was awesome! She told me everything about the health of this baby. She doesn't seem to be drug affected and is doing really well. She is AA and they don't like to place AA in a caucasion homes but since they are desperate they called me.

Talk about God working. Just this morning I was talking with my MAPPS instructor who is also over homefinding. She was trying to find a home for 3 caucasion children and said that she would have to place them in an AA home. I actually don't think that would be a big deal so long as its a good home. SHe explaiend that she really tried to place AA children with AA families and Caucasion with Caucasion (sorry don't know the abbreviation for caucasion). I totally agree with that due to the culture, hair, skin, food issues. She said it gets difficult. I told her if you ever do have an AA placement and you can't find an AA family please consider us. I explained that while I realize it is not the most ideal situation we spent 2 years volunteering at an orphanage in the Caribbean and took care of many African/Caribbean children. There is so much I realize in considering a biracial adoption or placement and all of it is regards to the children. I've really worried and put a lot of thought into this. We were offered a baby in the Caribbean but due to laws were not able to adopt him or we would have...so this is something that I have read and researched extensively and if I felt it was right for the child we would do this in a heart beat. I tried to stress our openess to a biracial placement or adoption in our homestudy but it really isn't on there. So not more then 2 hours later I get the call for this baby. It really had to be God working. However, I really feel this baby is going to go to the cousin after what the worker said to me.... I keep thinking if it is meant to be we will have a permanent placement if not that child was not for our family.

I'm still thinking about the baby I said goodbye to on Tuesday and I'm still crying off and on about her situation.

Another bit of news. Social workers requested us for the placement of the 3 children even though they aren't in the city we are close to-they wanted our home because they heard how well we cared for our first placement and said they didn't care if it meant a long drive to visit us. I can't help but think all these temporary placements will lead up to our baby. I feel like I'm "networking".

L

[leaabc123]

Just a legal note here. I forget the exact law but there is a law in place that says race can not legally be considered when placing a child in a foster home.

I understand about the cultural issues however, a good home is a good home.

The law was put into place because kids were languishing in foster care because they wouldn't let those of other races adopt children of different races even if they had been in that home a long time.

It sounds like your county or agency is focusing too much on race at this point.

[mcnh63]

Good luck. I know you were hoping for another placement soon!!!!
I hope all goes well for you.

[Forever_family]

They will place transracially in our county, please don't misunderstand. I met a foster mom who has adopted 4 caucasion children and she is African American. I've met some caucasion foster moms with AA placements in our county. My MAPPS worker just says she really tries to place within the same race. I can understand that and agree with it. I mean the best place for an AA child is with AA parents, that is how I feel. Second choice would be a good home that would be considerate of the child's race. That is what she was expressing to me. So please don't misunderstand what I wrote. The only reason I included that bit (and I feel like I may have opened a can of worms) is that I really feel it was amazing that we talked about this very situation only this morning and by this afternoon she had called me with an AA infant placement. I seriously thought she was kidding when she told me about the baby. I honestly didn't beleive her at first. It seemed too coincidental.

I'm really excited for this placement but like I said I don't think it will be a long term.

L

[Mel in NEPA]

I don't know how you ladies can do all these babies! All I can think about is those sleepless nights. I wouldn't ever want to do a baby, at least I think. =)

[shycar]

Congratulation. I hope you get the baby soon. I also got a baby girl born Dec 24th. She is hispanic with lots of black hair. She has very very long eyelashes that curl. She is a doll and we are inlove. But at two weeks she had to have surgery for two heart defects. She has been in the hospital for almost two weeks now. Tomorrow she comes home. Im so happy she will be back. We thought it was going to be a long placement, there is no family available, all bad news, but the judge wants to place mom in foster care, since she is a minor, and the baby will be with her. But it has to wait for a month till baby is healthier. One thing I have learned in the four years of doing foster care, anything can happen in a month. So who knows maybe this baby will stay. Good luck and I hope things will go well for you and the baby.

[6furbabies]

Congratulations! I've been following your story about your last fd & I think this is just what you need! I'm sure you being such a good foster family will lead to an adoption for you!

Also, the abbreviation for Caucasion is CC.

[kforkids]

did you get the baby? just nosey!

[mom2GRLC]

here is some words of hope for you....

I have always wanted and dreamed about adopting a new born baby girl straight from the hospital with as good of health as possible. I KNOW...WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!

But God does work in mysterious ways. I was so broken hearted from the many many babies I had loved and let go...finally we got our son who was almost 4 and ready to be adopted. We only had him 5 months(along with some other foster children) when we got a call about a newborn baby girl that was up for adoption but their was some legal risk so she had to go into fostercare first. I was told this baby already had a home picked out and we would NOT be the adoptive family. I prayed about it and knew if she were meant to be mine God would find away. I also felt comforted that if we did have to let her go...I would still love to have that experience with a newborn....and love to help another family receive their forever family as well. So i agreed...well i begged to foster her. Once she was in our home we found out they had not picked out a home for her....so we begged from the moment we found out till we were told when she was 7 weeks old that we were her adoptive family. I couldn't believe how blessed we were and how much my trust in God really helped this blessing come about for us.

So may God bless you...and lead you to accept those children he wants to bless you with...short term or long term...your life will be blessed!!!!

[Forever_family]

Baby is coming any minute now! There was a hold up due to the judge not signing the right form so instead of this morning it will be this afternoon. I'm still keeping in mind she will most likely be going in a week or two...anyway it will be fun until then. My daughters are so excited. I told them that this mom did not have a home and had some problems so we are going to help take care of her baby for awhile. My youngest is 5 years old. she has never EVER wanted to say payers. The past 2 days she has asked to say family prayer and has prayed that the mom finds a home and that her baby will be okay. How sweet is that. They helped me pick out a few snuggly outfits and we bought some flannel to make burp clothes and receiving blankets with-that will be her gift from us when she leaves. This is all too much fun.

Thanks for the support from everyone. Mom2grl what a beautiful adoption story. I have faith that eventually the right baby will come to our home and stories like your's only make me feel like I am doing the right thing. This past week I've really questioned whether or not I would continue to foster. I'm trying to be okay with the letting go part. I am so in awe of the strength I see on this board. I'm grateful for the advice and hope you all give to people like me!

Thank you.

[mckenna]

i have been fostering for 6 years. i typically take one foster child at a time. i adopted #3 and am in the process of adopting foster child #5. numbers 1,2 & 4 all went to family members, and i still miss them, but would not trade the time i had with them for anything. i hope your forever child finds you soon!

[swsoutherlands]

Forever--

Can I be a bit nosy and ask why you started fostering? Is it because you can't have any more? Your youngest is 5 right? And you have another daughter right?

Forgive me if you've posted this before and I've just forgotten it. We have an almost 6 year old and have been totally unsuccessful in having any more bio children. We're doing fostering so we can adopt, and I'm always very anxious to meet other people who are in a similar situation.

Sarah "SW"

[Forever_family]

Got a call the baby was "on the way" waited and waited and got a second call. She was placed last minute with a relative. I knew it was going to be temporary so I wasn't too upset. Now I'm ready for a girl or a boy newborn (at least for the first few days anyway.) I was told that we are the only new born baby home in our county right now and shouldn't be surprised if we get a call within the week.

Don't worry about being nosey. I don't mind sharing. My story is long and unusual so hope you don't mind.

We have 2 daughters. My oldest is 9 years old and my youngest is 5 years old. I was married breifly at a very young age to an abusive man. My oldest daughter (and inspiration in life!) was born in my first marriage. Thankfully I had a wonderful supportive church leader and family and was able to leave the abusive marriage early on. I fell in love and married my dh and we had our now 5 year old daughter soon after. We are also in the process of a step-parent adoption of our 9 year old daughter. This year has been an amazing one full of miracles. We never dreamed we would be given permission for my husband to adopt her even though he is the only man she has known as her father. She does have a relationship with my ex husband but it has been very guarded because of the past abuse. It's really been a wonderful year for us.

For 2 1/2 years we lived in the Caribbean. I think I've mentioned this a lot in here. We volunteered at an orphanage while we lived there. 24 chlidren became part of my heart. I don't know how to explain or express how much I loved those children. I never dreamed I would become as attached as I did to them. I also had 11 children from various backgrounds that I taught for Sunday School.
I have very difficult pregnancies. I also have a heart condition that becomes unmanageble during pregnancy. We have not felt right about conceiving and risking my life. We both come from large LDS families.

I had what I can only call a "God" moment during a visit to the orphanage. I don't really like to talk about this becuase it is so personal to me. I knew we would one day adopt an AA infant and that this child was supposed to be mine. Then we went through pure hell as I call it. We were offered a baby boy that I truly felt was supposed to be ours. Due to the laws of the country we were not able to adopt him as we had wanted to. I'm sure those of you out there who have had a failed adoption can understand. I was ready for this baby boy.

After that I really dedicated myself to the children in the orphanage. I realized I could never change their circumstances that I would not be able to help them rise above what was happening to them but I could give them the moment that I was with them. In that moment they would know what it was like to be loved, nurtured, and cared for. We had a girl spend Christmas with us and weekends. We would have adopted her to but again we weren't allowed to. She was 11 years old and an amazing girl. When we left the island I left a life that I had grown to love more then anything. I also left all of the children I had loved. It was devistating for me. I was in a funk for an entire year. I tried to get over it but it wasn't happening. I knew that eventually we wanted to adopt. At the time my husband was in vet school (had a year left) and it was not a good time to start. We researched international adoption. I am not critical of those who have chosen this route. Only to say that having been very close with an orphange who gets large funding from the states I have an opinion that is very different from most. I feel (and this is only my opinion) that many orphanages are set up to make money for the directors. The children are exploited in that they are there so that they can continue to get more money that will not go for their care. I saw how unsupervised the situation was. These kids were very open to child molesters, rape from the older boys living in the orphanage, and not to mentiont he physical and emotional abuse/neglect. The funding they were receiving should have been able to cover more supervision, more staff, more appropriate activities for the children, more food, more clothing, more toys, more books.... So in our research of international adoption i could not imagine handing over such a large sume to support an orphanage that was most likely doing the same thing. I know there are orphanages out there that appear to be legitimate but how does one really know? Anyway that was my reasoning behind not adopting internationally.

There was also this hole left inside both my husband and myself. I mean we never knew how much it would hurt to leave those kids. Volunteer work does more for your spirit and soul then it does for those you serve, I swear it should be a form of therapy. So we looked into foster/adopt. We really felt this was the way to go. whew...hope you wanted the long story! I feel that eventually we will have our forever child. When I had our first placement for all of 2 weeks, about a week into it my husband and I looked at each other and both of us had tears in our eyes. We didnt' have to say anything. It was the same feeling, the hole had been filled, the emptiness we had since leaving the Caribbean had finally gone. We discussed it for a minute and were both amazed how real that feeling was and how good it felt not to have that emptiness anymore. WE knew we were doing the right thing. Then the kids left and again this hole or emptiness came....but I feel we are on the right path as painful, up and down, rocky as it may be I feel we will eventually find our forever child. Until then we are very happy to love children who will need it for that moment. I need to get better at the letting go part. I don't know how you get good at that.