[6furbabies]

Hello,

I had my first training class last week. During the class, the trainer asked what everyone's age preferences are. There are only 3 families in our training classes. 2 of them said Elementary school aged & I said ages 0 - 3. When I said that, the trainer warned me that it's very uncommon for this age to come through the county system. As an example, she said the last group of families to become certified had 7 families. 2 of these families said they were looking at Elementary aged & older. Both families got placements within 2 weeks. 5 families said they wanted ages 0 - 3 and none of them have had a placement yet! They were certified in May. So, I'm feeling very discouraged. I truly have nothing against older kids & if I can help a child get out of a bad situation, I'll be happy, but at the same time, I've never had children before (bio or foster) and I feel that ages 0 - 3 is about the most I can handle at this point.

So, I'm tossing around the idea of contacting an agency. Am I right in saying that they will place children in my home, even if the children live in counties other than my own?

Thanks for your help!

[mylilangels]

hey 6..

we were told that we wouldn't get babies either, that it's mostly 6 and up in the sysytem. our 1st placement was a 12mo girl and 6dys later we got a 2dy old boy..we use the county since the only other agency close by is 25mi and it's only a therapuetic agency that only takes kids 6 and up..i wouldn't get discouraged..i thought like you in the beginning, but i do have 2 bio children. we have taken like 10 kids over our age limit..i know here they'll call you w/ any child no matter age, issues etc..i have found that it's pretty easy w/ any age but do ask about background 1st. we have had 3 kids moved b/c dfcs didn't tell us all the info and these are kids we wouldn't have been able to take in the 1st place..good luck...you'll get some lil ones..

marcie
bio s 10
bio g 6
fd 13
fd 4
fs 5
fs 9mos
fs 12 coming 1/23...

[keyla]

Sorry that you walked away from the training session feeling discouraged. However, be proud that you know what you are able to handle. Continue being honest with yourself, as it will be helpful throughout this journey.

It wouldn't hurt to contact an agency and start asking questions. You never know if you don't try.

Best wishes on your journey!

~k

[texastanya]

I'm not sure where you are located. However, our agency has stated numerous times that the children in foster care range from 0-18, abilities that vary from genius to severe delays, and just about every ethnic group on the planet. We were told if we wanted any child - we could get one pretty quickly. We were also told if we wanted a specific ethnic group, specific age, specific ability level - we could probably get our desire, it would just take longer.
For our first placement, we wanted two boys 0-3, preferrably siblings, and our specification was that we wanted someone on the TPR track. It took 8 weeks, to get D&T but they have been with us for almost a year, and the mother just terminated her rights.
For our next placement, we wanted a boy 0-3. We let our agency know, and with in a week, M was placed with us.

I wish you all the best.

Mom of boys and dogs:
1 – B (husband - he’s the biggest boy)
2 – D aged 3.5, placed 3/22/05
3 – T aged 20 months, placed 3/22/05
4 – M aged 20 months, placed 8/20/05
Dogs: Jack (rottweiler), Alvin (beagle), and Murray (beiner)
__________________

[jstodd01]

I agree to not be to disapointed. My husband and I were in the same boat. No kids, want babies. We were told the same thing. That is to hopefully get you involved with older kids because they are more frequently put into care. Our first placement we picked up at the hospital at 2 days old. She went to a family a week later and a month later we picked up another 2 day old. So keep your faith where it is and stick to your guns. You'll get what you need.

[kforkids]

Every area is different! Do listen to your trainer about the wait (you may be the exception, but it may be a long haul!). Do know what you are comfortable with- and stick to that. My DH and I started with a very small "window" of ages we'd accept. It is now wide open, but we've been doing this for 8 years!

It certainly won't hurt for you to call other agencies and ask what happens in your area. I did fostercare in my county for 5 plus years and then switched to a private agency. We wanted to adopt and had not met that goal with the original county, so went private and we've adopted twice! Our kids happen to be from a neighboring county, but we do hear about some from all over the state.

[TexasJingles]

Since you're new parents, are you SURE you want babies? All those feedings, changes, no sleep, bio visits, doctor appointments and on and on ... LOL <just kidding>

I'm glad you know what you want and can handle. And some of what recruiters do is hype, just to prepare you for a possible long wait. And if you're looking to just straight adoption...well, they're correct, 0-3 don't come up very often - (foster - yes, foster to adopt - sometimes, straight adopt - not many (not with a lot of problems), at least not through the state/county). That doesn't mean that you won't get one, just be aware that there may be a wait.

We were given one suggestion that I'll pass on because you'll never know what actually comes to you. Be as open as possible on ages and race on your license and then tell the placement people what you're willing to take. In our state, they don't like to make changes to licenses without a lot of red tape, your state may be different.

Example: we're licensed for ages 0-17, up to 3 children. But we really wanted ages 0-10 and a sibling group with at least one of each gender. One of the 1st groups we were offered was a sib group of all boys, ages 7 m - 9 y - 13 y. They were all great boys however, no girl. So we passed.

It's hard to say no, but you're open to a lot more opportunities and given time to decide (alright, perhaps not TOO much time, but some! ). Hang in there!

[jami26]

HI me and my husband were in that boat too. I told them the same thing and they told us that we would never get placed with children that young so we decided to do the infant adoptin progrm insted. I think I might foster down the road but for now I want a baby that I know we will have forever.

[PAmomof1]

If I remember correctly, my agency said the same thing. I wasn't really even thinking about taking babies, I actually preferred ages 3-8 at the time and my first two placements were infants. The first placement 2 months and the second placement was four months.

So you just never know. I would probably contact some other agencies and inquire but once you are licenses you can change your mind if you'd like to try older children.

Good luck!

[chrisandlainey]

my agency told me the same thing. but they told me this on the very LAST day of training!! i was so upset.
BUT, 3 weeks later, i got the call for my fs who was 18 mos when we got him. then we got TONS of calls for babies and finally ended up with our fs's sister who was 3 months when we got her.
dont be discouraged. it will happen.

[echobunny89]

When I took the classes we were also told that placements in that age range are few and far between but yet if you look at my state's statistics you will find that is totally untrue. I swear we are told this just so that we will be open to taking other age groups as well. Maybe the thinking is everyone wants infants but no one will take the older kids? I don't mean that it is a big conspiracy theory or anything but it does seem a little strange to me.

[Kate1129]

We too were told to keep an open range, as little ones are hard to come by. We did wait from April to November, it seemed like forever, but really wasn't.

Hang in there!

[crick]

Something to remember as you go through your classes...they will always paint the more negative side of things than the positive. They have to be on the "cover the butt" policy as well b/c if they told you that you might only wait a few months etc. for your placement, and it didn't happen that way, then they would have a lot of problems.

Give it a little time first is my suggestion. And like with anything else, if the process isn't working for you after a time, then you can change your mind and course to something different.

Also...if you are open to siblings & race, you might have better luck with younger children.

[Forever_family]

The same thing happened to me at orientation for MAPPS class. Went home and talked it over with my DH and was unsure if we were even going to go forward. I was really discouraged. We decided to go to the MAPPS class and see where it lead. During the process of our MAPPS classes we were told that all the baby homes were now full and by the time we were licensed they said to be ready. Things change fast...at least they did in our county. You never know.

I am so new to this but we did have our first placement of a 20 month and a 6 month old not long after we were licensed. They left today into a situation I am unsure about but that is besides the point. I think they really try to push the older children because there are so many more of them in the system and they really deserve loving and caring homes. For us we already have 2 young school age children and we want to foster in birth order because we strongly feel that is important for our family. If you feel it is important for you to foster 0-3 stick with that. I may be wrong but I think the social workers say there aren't any babies or young children in that age group but in reality there are you just may have to wait and it may mean they are not going to be permanent or adoption placements. However, I'm still so new to this! Perhaps I am wrong.

L

[TNfostermom]

We started off with a private agency, with the intent to adopt a girl age 0-4, then we upped the age limit to 9 because we weren't getting any calls. We also said we were willing to do foster care. Still no calls. So we decided to change and go with our state agency and do straight foster care. We told them we wanted girls 0-4 and they encouraged us to up our age limit because of all the school age children in the system. We told them we would take up to age eight. (We are approved for 4 children) We found out we had been approved when we got a call for our first children. They had a sib group, boy age 8, girl age 5, boy age 4 and boy age 18 months. We weren't prepared to take on four children for our first placement, so we only took the older two. They only stayed one night. A week later we got a call for two teenage girls, to do respite for a week. We said no. Teenagers scare me a little. A week later we got a call for another sib group, a girl age 6, a girl age 3 and a boy age 2. We had them for three months. We asked to have them moved because of some issues they had. They ended up going to their grandparents a couple of months later. They left on Wed. and on Monday we got a call for an eight month old baby girl. We took her and still have her. Not sure what is going on with her case. She in on her fourth SW in three months. The next Monday we got a call for a two month old baby girl. We also took her and still have her. She has five older siblings that have all been taken. My SW tells me that she will be going up for adoption eventually. We plan on adopting her if that happens. We were approved in June and got our babies in Oct. Last month we got a call for a 13 year old boy from a Meth. lab that I said no to.

We were told that in our area you need to work with DCS if you want babies because they place them directly with their families. They only use the agencies for the hard to place children. I would ask the private agencies in your area how many babies they place in homes each year.

They try to scare you in the classes to weed out the people who are not really serious about doing foster care. It is hard doing foster care but very rewarding.