[swsoutherlands]

I'm dragging through life right now. I have no more desire to do foster care right now. It's all I can do to not call my case worker and tell her to take the kids. Of course, I don't acutally think I *could* get a hold of her and she doesn't actually return my calls. My first placement has been a comedy (but I'm not laughing right now!) of errors. We're a first time foster family with kids who are in the system for the very first time with a case worker who's never had foster families before (and is 6 months pregnant) and a Resource Family Consultant (our family's caseworker) who's new too. Don't know if they could have planned it to be worse. Anyways, my 5 year old foster daughter is driving me nuts and I'm dreading everyday. My husband wants to keep the kids until they go back in June but June seems like forever away.... Plus, I'm realizing that being a foster parent before we feel like our family is complete is a BAD idea. We were hoping to add to our family by adopting through the state. So now that we have kids who are going home I'm realizing how desperate I am for a baby of my very own. It'd be much, much easier to be a foster parent when our family is complete. Then if they go home, it's fine because our family is set; but if they can't go home, then we talk about if we want to add them.

Sigh. I'm too discouraged right now to even get mad or frustrated with the stupid system. Blah. I just want out. For awhile I *wanted* to keep these two kids, but now I just don't care. Has anybody dealt with this? What do I do to get a third, fourth, fifth wind???

[Kate1129]

I hear ya! I went through it also. You'll get a wind back, in time!

[leaabc123]

I have been having similar feelings as well.The case for our girls is still up in the air and it is getting harder to deal with.

We had started trying to have a baby using Artificial Insemination and a donor (we are a 2 mom household) and were successful last August. The girls arrived in our home in April.

Unfortunately, about 2 weeks ago, we lost the baby due to an undetected infection. Very rare and unexpected occurence. I am currently waiting for my next doc appointment to see when we can start trying again.

I am just taking it day by day right now. If we knew that the girls were definitely going home, i would have probably had them moved at this point.

I suggest waiting a week and then seeing how you feel. If your feelings haven't improved, then it may be the best thing to have them moved.

[waiting home]

Would it help to talk a little about what the 5-y-o is doing to drive you crazy? She could be sensing your lack of enthusiasm and is searching for a way to get your attention.

I'd love to listen and offer some suggestions and support.

You really do sound down. Can you request respite care and grab a week of rest? It does kinda help to be able to think clearer when the kids are not there under your feet.

[kforkids]

You DO sound down! Foster care is such a roller coaster. I, too, would suggest trying a break using respite. Is that a possiblity for you?